Hidden debt from husband



  • I hear what everyone says. I am in a similar situation. I will be paying off what I can before I divulge to OH. Mainly because he will stress work and obsess about it so why have two of us in this state. The time will come for me but not just yet.
    Every relationship is different and some people respond to money/ debt issues more favourably than others.
    If you decide not to tell you must learn not to witter about this constantly, that will make you Ill
    Credit cards and loan total at Jan 2016=£37599 :eek::eek::mad::mad::(:(
  • I expect a combination of good timing and a good situation will help. Honesty is the best policy, but I definitely believe that you can get the timing wrong and make things worse. I am sure that it is not far-fetched for you to have a CC balance that now needs paying. If you have the means to pay it, it will be better for you to get it sorted and in the open, then you do not have to hide a debt that grows.
    To err is human, but it is against company policy.
  • baconobacono Forumite
    39 Posts
    I'd agree with those recommending honesty is the best policy, as tough as that can be sometimes. It's a harder thing to confess than keep quiet, hopefully he'll realise that and think better of you. He should.

    One addition - you mentioned potentially buying a house in future (using money for a deposit) in your opening post. Having recently gone through a new mortgage application, I can tell you that your financial habits are absolutely laid bare in the process these days and there's no hiding place for outstanding debt. If you do decide to deal with it without telling him I'd strongly advise getting everything in order before going for a mortgage.
  • april87april87 Forumite
    348 Posts
    I was in a similar situation over a year ago. I told my now husband after getting a letter about arrestment of wages. I was in a state, I had been trying to hold my head above water whilst financially struggling paying even the basic of things. The debt was for just over £900. He payed the debt for me (he had the means to do so) and I opened up about everything. We checked my credit report to see pretty much everything had fallen off my account bar one. I am now much more responsible *thankfully* and now in the process of trying to fix my credit history and repair some of the damage so that in 3/4 years time we can look at getting a mortgage in both our names.

    Honesty is the best policy, not only will it save you a lot of worry but he married you, for better or for worse.
  • Jon81Jon81 Forumite
    95 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    From bitter experience, I would recomend telling your other half as soon as possible, I didn't and it was only good fortune and the fact that my wife loves me that she didn't kick me out of the house.

    I realise in retrospect that it was one of the stupidest things I did aside from getting into trouble as I did

    Things will be difficult, tough at first but the support is invaluable
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite
    26.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    OP`s not been back since the initial post, so can only guess at the outcome.
    Ex MSE Board Guide.

    More than a third of IVA`s fail....fact.
    Could A Debt Relief Order help you ?
    Never pay a fee for a Debt Management Plan.
    For free non-judgemental debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, or CitizensAdviceBureaux.
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