Family & Friends

maman

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

When I say normal I mostly mean they don't flounce about Jeremy Kyle style and air their dirty laundry on Facebook as seems to be the norm if the posts on here are anything to go by:eek:

Alikay wrote: »

I always feel relieved (and a little bit smug ) that our family and friends, despite our varying views, values and norms, manage to conduct good functional relationships with each other. No screaming and shouting, shunning, squaring up to each other etc: We all just muddle along nicely with maybe just a quizzical look, shrug or grimace once in a while!:T

Sadly it's not just at Christmas. There seem to be so many people who live their lives like they are in a soap opera and thrive on the drama. I think it's a sad indictment on what society's coming too.


Some might call my family boring but I think we're grown up and well mannered. I have a few in laws with massively different political views to my own but we get along fine. The only argument we've ever had is about football and we still manage to give each other a hug and a kiss on New Year's Eve!!:)

Rebel_Cause

I agree a lot of the posts on here recently have made me wonder what the lead singer of Wizard is on! LOL

Lily-Rose_3

Pollycat wrote: »

I think this is a little unfair.

Some people have real reasons to post about things family/friends have done or not done, said or not said.
You're clearly lucky with your family & friends, others are just as clearly not so lucky and telling them they need to chill is, quite frankly, dismissive.

Like you, I'm lucky in my friends and (most of) my family but that doesn't mean I can't sympathise with someone who isn't in my position.

I agree with Pollycat.

I know the OP means no harm and is just trying to 'even the negativity,' with a 'positive' post, but I found the original post rather sanctimonious and a little insulting.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a wonderful, perfect family who never argue, and get along all the time, and have a fine and dandy life! And sometimes it's good to vent and moan and whine anonymously. (Even if it DOES seem trivial to many.)

If you aren't interested in the thread content, then don't go into the thread, or if you DO read the original post and think it's a boring or silly one, then leave the thread. If the problem is too trivial for you, then why go in and comment on it?!

Starting a new thread to demean and trivialise peoples genuine issues and problems, is a bit mean IMO.

FTR, I had a good Christmas with no rows, and me and my husband and daughter had fun. Her boyfriend stayed Boxing day and the 27th, and then our daughter went to his til the 2nd. Now we are seeing extended family, (this afternoon,) as they are coming around for a buffet, and we all get on OK.

However, we do have good days and bad, and we do get on each other's nerves at times... (me, DH, and our daughter, AND us and our extended family.) We are not perfect; ANY of us, and we do fall out occasionally. And although our Christmas was problem-free, we have had Christmases before that have involved a few petty squabbles.

I don't believe anyone for a second, who says they never argue or squabble, and that they and every one of their family members always get on... It's not normal.

gunsandbanjos

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I agree with Pollycat.

I know the OP means no harm and is just trying to 'even the negativity,' with a 'positive' post, but I found the original post rather sanctimonious and a little insulting.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a wonderful, perfect family who never argue, and get along all the time, and have a fine and dandy life! And sometimes it's good to vent and moan and whine anonymously. (Even if it DOES seem trivial to many.)

If you aren't interested in the thread content, then don't go into the thread, or if you DO read the original post and think it's a boring or silly one, then leave the thread. If the problem is too trivial for you, then why go in and comment on it?!

Starting a new thread to demean and trivialise peoples genuine issues and problems, is a bit mean IMO.

FTR, I had a good Christmas with no rows, and me and my husband and daughter had fun. Her boyfriend stayed Boxing day and the 27th, and then our daughter went to his til the 2nd. Now we are seeing extended family, (this afternoon,) as they are coming around for a buffet, and we all get on OK.

However, we do have good days and bad, and we do get on each other's nerves at times... (me, DH, and our daughter, AND us and our extended family.) We are not perfect; ANY of us, and we do fall out occasionally. And although our Christmas was problem-free, we have had Christmases before that have involved a few petty squabbles.

I don't believe anyone for a second, who says they never argue or squabble, and that they and every one of their family members always get on... It's not normal.

Jesus wept, insulting?

And where did I say we are perfect? Don't make !!!! up to fit your little rant.

Never mind, you can all drown in your negativity, I shan't bother trying to bring a chink of sunshine to all the gloom and doom that people seem to revel in lately.

Lily-Rose_3

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

Jesus wept, insulting?

And where did I say we are perfect? Don't make !!!! up to fit your little rant.

Never mind, you can all drown in your negativity, I shan't bother trying to bring a chink of sunshine to all the gloom and doom that people seem to revel in lately.

Yes insulting. And that is putting it mildly. And the way you reacted to my post (calling it a rant, because I said something you didn't care to hear) speaks volumes about you. You post your rude comments, but then spit your dummy out when someone challenges them.

And you may not have said you and your family are perfect, but your original post certainly implied that!

And if you think that trivialising and mocking peoples problems is 'bringing a chink of sunshine to people,' then your morals are horribly skewed.

Don't ever volunteer for The Samaritans FGS!

Kynthia

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I agree with Pollycat.

I know the OP means no harm and is just trying to 'even the negativity,' with a 'positive' post, but I found the original post rather sanctimonious and a little insulting.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a wonderful, perfect family who never argue, and get along all the time, and have a fine and dandy life! And sometimes it's good to vent and moan and whine anonymously. (Even if it DOES seem trivial to many.)

If you aren't interested in the thread content, then don't go into the thread, or if you DO read the original post and think it's a boring or silly one, then leave the thread. If the problem is too trivial for you, then why go in and comment on it?!

Starting a new thread to demean and trivialise peoples genuine issues and problems, is a bit mean IMO.

FTR, I had a good Christmas with no rows, and me and my husband and daughter had fun. Her boyfriend stayed Boxing day and the 27th, and then our daughter went to his til the 2nd. Now we are seeing extended family, (this afternoon,) as they are coming around for a buffet, and we all get on OK.

However, we do have good days and bad, and we do get on each other's nerves at times... (me, DH, and our daughter, AND us and our extended family.) We are not perfect; ANY of us, and we do fall out occasionally. And although our Christmas was problem-free, we have had Christmases before that have involved a few petty squabbles.

I don't believe anyone for a second, who says they never argue or squabble, and that they and every one of their family members always get on... It's not normal.

It's a shame you've reacted so badly to what was a fairly innocuous post. I just took it as someone who was pleased they didn't have any family that did anything that caused them to need to vent and pleased that they and their family aren't the petty type to take offence at trivial things where others would have shrugged it off like some petty posts that have been put on here.

I didn't get any impression of them being sanctimonious or implying their family was perfect. My family don't row (excluding small children) so I don't think it's abnormal, but I'm sure there are times we slightly annoy or disappoint each other but we either discuss it or move on because no one is perfect.

You've accused the OP of lots of things they didn't actually do or say. Both your posts seem very angry and you've been insulting.

milliemonster

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I think you misunderstand, I'm sympathetic to genuine problems, I'm not sympathetic for example to someone grumbling that their mother in law had a negative net contribution to Christmas Day as per another thread on here.

I am very lucky that I have great friends and family, hence the positive post.

Just trying to balance out the negativity.

But just because you think that the issue with the mother in law was trivial does not mean that it was, for all you know this particular issue could be the final straw in a long line of other more major issues the poster had with their mil that you don't know about.

It's easy when your life is full of positivity and happiness to think everyone else should just 'chill' but many others have horrendous family backgrounds and relationships that trouble them deeply and come here for support, advice or just to sound off as they have nowhere else to turn, to trivialise their problems by saying 'just chill' is insulting, sorry

gunsandbanjos

milliemonster wrote: »

But just because you think that the issue with the mother in law was trivial does not mean that it was, for all you know this particular issue could be the final straw in a long line of other more major issues the poster had with their mil that you don't know about.

It's easy when your life is full of positivity and happiness to think everyone else should just 'chill' but many others have horrendous family backgrounds and relationships that trouble them deeply and come here for support, advice or just to sound off as they have nowhere else to turn, to trivialise their problems by saying 'just chill' is insulting, sorry

My life isn't full of positivity and happiness, I'm still nursing my daughter after major surgery to her spine (op number 25 I think?) and my dad had surgery last week.

Who said my life was easy?

fierystormcloud

Pollycat wrote: »

I think this is a little unfair.

Some people have real reasons to post about things family/friends have done or not done, said or not said.

You're clearly lucky with your family & friends, others are just as clearly not so lucky and telling them they need to chill is, quite frankly, dismissive.

Like you, I'm lucky in my friends and (most of) my family but that doesn't mean I can't sympathise with someone who isn't in my position.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I agree with Pollycat.

I know the OP means no harm and is just trying to 'even the negativity,' with a 'positive' post, but I found the original post rather sanctimonious and a little insulting.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a wonderful, perfect family who never argue, and get along all the time, and have a fine and dandy life! And sometimes it's good to vent and moan and whine anonymously. (Even if it DOES seem trivial to many.)

If you aren't interested in the thread content, then don't go into the thread, or if you DO read the original post and think it's a boring or silly one, then leave the thread. If the problem is too trivial for you, then why go in and comment on it?!

Starting a new thread to demean and trivialise peoples genuine issues and problems, is a bit mean IMO.

We are not perfect; ANY of us, and we do fall out occasionally. And although our Christmas was problem-free, we have had Christmases before that have involved a few petty squabbles.

I don't believe anyone for a second, who says they never argue or squabble, and that they and every one of their family members always get on... It's not normal.

milliemonster wrote: »

But just because you think that the issue with the mother in law was trivial does not mean that it was, for all you know this particular issue could be the final straw in a long line of other more major issues the poster had with their mil that you don't know about.

It's easy when your life is full of positivity and happiness to think everyone else should just 'chill' but many others have horrendous family backgrounds and relationships that trouble them deeply and come here for support, advice or just to sound off as they have nowhere else to turn, to trivialise their problems by saying 'just chill' is insulting, sorry

I agree with Polly, Lilyrose and Millie. The content of the original post (and subsequent posts) is actually pretty rude.

And as Millie said in her post, (and Polly and Lily said too; ) when people sound off and complain about things, and someone says 'chill out,' 'get a grip' etc and belittles their issues, because they think they are trivial; that IS insulting and rude.

I hope the OP's original post doesn't put people off posting here for support. As someone said earlier, if you think the problem or issue is trivial, then stay away from the thread. Nobody asks you to contribute!

(And now the OP is backpedalling by saying her life is NOT that wonderful after all. :rotfl:

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

My life isn't full of positivity and happiness, I'm still nursing my daughter after major surgery to her spine (op number 25 I think?) and my dad had surgery last week.

Who said my life was easy?

You couldn't make it up!)

DomRavioli

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

My life isn't full of positivity and happiness, I'm still nursing my daughter after major surgery to her spine (op number 25 I think?) and my dad had surgery last week.

Who said my life was easy?

You seem so bitter and twisted.

I hope you get through it; your venom towards those who do not agree with you is not only evident, it is blatant.

From your OP (which was condescending and took things out of context), to your replies with cursing, its pretty obvious where the issues lie.

Good day to you.