Mooloo's little tapestry of life, 2016

Savvy_sewing

I managed a NSD again. Just. DS taken food shopping, -then to B&M, and I resisted just.
Mum taken out to a sewing shop in Buckingham, and I resisted buying any more fabric etc.
Mum insists on paying for lunch so we stopped at a hotel in the town and had a sandwich with side salad garnish. Mine was chicken, bacon, cheese (hunters chicken), with chips and a drink - £6.99 a head!
Amazing deals.
Home again, and a coat of paint done to the shed. Only bought it 5 years ago!!!
Dinner was chicken based as I'd two cooked breasts to use. DGD had hers as is with pasta, and I had mine casseroled, previously cooked in the thermal bag, and just reheated with a portion of rice.
DGD is having jelly for pudding. One I made yesterday that has been lurking in the cupboard from an AF delivery Erm last year I think!!
So I am happy with the way the day went.
I didn't manage to declutter anything but DS had wanted to buy someradiator airers and a toy net, and I told him he could save the money as I had them at home that he can have. Tomorrow when I take him to work at dawn I will give him them.
So something I rarely use can go and it's something he was going to spend money he can't really afford anyway.
This evening I am tired, and I will have to get a reasonably early night as I will have to be dressed and out by 6.45am
As I take ages to get my body moving I think I will have to set my alarm for 5.45!! Eeeek

Savvy_sewing

No spend day yesterday, other than usual DDs.
4 items out of the house and taken to my son's.
Work has suddenly picked up, so much so that I didn't leave until 5.24
I would have stayed longer but the next job would have taken me too long to do and I would have been late for DGD.
I had to throw out some old pasta and some chicken slices unfortunately they had turned.
For tea we had mashed potatoes, minute steaks and I had kale while DGD preferred baked beans.
She had the last of the jelly for her pudding.
I cancelled our Abel & Cole delivery, and will get our fresh fruit and vegetables from the market instead. I won't manage a no spend day today, if I am to shop at the Market as it is only on this morning, so if I want the rest of the weekend to be no spend days then I need to get Ham, Mayonnaise and crisps ready for DGDs pack up next week.
That will come out of the food budget, reduced from £200 to £100 this month.
I need to sort out my Christmas fabrics now Halloween is over, and take photos of it all today! I have a potential sale of Christmas things to organise.

Savvy_sewing

My long post I did this morning didn't post afterall! Frustrating to say the least.
I managed two more no spends days. So that's 5/6 days. I am beginning to use things that have been in the store cupboard for quite a while.
I have found it a lot tougher then I expected as I have been spending so much lately. DGD is aware of the NSD challenge and so yesterday when we went to watch the fireworks and I said we weren't spending there she took it quite well.
She is eating the Halloween sweets each day, and as I have not been going to the shop on the way home from work we are not tempted to buy the sweets near the tills.
Today I made soup for lunch along with the homemade bread I have been making every day. I also made a lasagne for our evening meal and that will last us tomorrow as well.
I have also been doing the washing, which is hanging in the bathroom at the moment. I have put the heater on for a little while in there, so that it gives it a little more chance to dry.

Savvy_sewing

Over the last 4 days I have been struggling with my self, with my thoughts and dreams. I have tried to stay on the positive things while posting because I was in quite a terrible place inside. I doubted my complete life's purpose really.
I floundered on my path, I felt lost, I wanted to stop everything I was doing and begin again.
I saw no future for me as I am.
I felt tied down to the same old, I couldn't see the woods for the trees.
I questioned everything about my life and I couldn't find any answers.
I felt like I had come to the end of the current road and needed to make a choice right now as to which path I took. But my fork in the road really was a fork, with many tynes.
I have written for hours in my diary, question after question and I did not find the answers at the time.
I have not found them yet.
I did face up to a few facts along the way.
I thought about allowing ( if the courts/social would), letting DGD go to her Mums more, and reassessing whether it is me who is wrong to keep her if she is soon old enough to choose? Would it be possible for her to move with her Mum, when would be the best time if she did?
How would I cope without her, how would Mooloo's survive and support me to be self sufficient? How can I improve on my work and be more profitable and earn a wage that took me out of the benefit system?
Was I a failure because I am still not earning a living wage?
Do I renew my lease and tie myself down for several years? What if I fail, have I already failed?
How can I help my grown children more? Could I do a house swap with my son and his partner so that he could have access to better work?
Could I be a better carer for my Mum, as she ages should I be there for her more?
Should I be a companion to Mum and take her where she wants to go while she can, physically and financially?
What can I do to better my future and follow my own dreams?
Why do I want to retire from life here, chance the sun, live by the Med?
Leave my family behind me and do a Shirley Valentine.
Why do I get frustrated that my friend doesn't want to build a future together?
Why do I live in clutter and chaos, when I know it gets me down? Why can't I clear the clutter from both my house and my mind?

Nobody can answer that, but that is what I am going through at the moment.
Is it because I am already 55? I feel it should be my time for me, yet that I am selfish to want to do my own thing? I can't follow my dreams because I feel I have too much holding me back? Is this just itchy feet because I have never been in one place so long in my entire life?
I am frustrated that I don't have enough funds to do anything more than exist half the time, yet I know it is all of my own doing in the last 10 years since bankruptcy from the Pub.
By now I thought I would have found my purpose, built my reserves, and been well and truly settled down and living a life of my dreams.
I wonder if I am too late

dktreesea

Hi Mooloo, So much of what you wrote resonated with me. I've never lived in what is now a quite unsuitable (due to my health issues) flat for this long, or even a country. I too still have a child at school and am loathe to move away as I don't want him to have to move schools. He says he'd commute but having someone commuting an hour each way to school isn't quite the reality I had in mind for him, even though I know I need a house rather than a flat.


Every year the lease comes up and I agonise about whether to sign up for another year. Circumstances have forced me to stop planning and just to tackle one day at a time. And to put up with the fact that from time to time, e.g. at Christmas when the business is busy, even that is going to be overwhelming.


Money is tight, but it's partly because of having a partner who says "it's only a pound/a couple of quid, a tenner", if I say I want to cut back a bit. Plus he refuses to see the business debt as "our" debt, whereas to me there's no such separation. I used to get so frustrated by this but now I don't say anything and just squirrel bits and pieces away for a rainy day without telling him.


I dream of buying a house and getting back to what we had before, in a different country getting on for two decades ago, but having a limited time going forward has curtailed my options.


Sometimes you just need to have faith that things will get better financially and on the days it gets to you, maybe just say to yourself "breathe!".

One good thing about signing a longer lease for the business is if, down the road, you decided to go a different direction and to sell up, the business would be more attractive if you had a long, stable lease.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks x
I had not really thought about being able to sell the business if the lease was in place. I suppose I was thinking that I needed to own the building to do that.
I will certainly think about it.
I just spoke to the Dry Cleaners this morning as I took some shoes over to be reheeled, and they said they have been quieter than usual too. I have not had any work from them since the summer break, but it appears that they send them across now rather than be a middle man. That had been playing on my mind too. I thought I must have done something wrong. Glad to know I had not!
I am here at work and really should be getting on as I have a full work load once again.
I know that my quandary is just a blip but I wish I could find my answers sooner rather then later.
Staff is due in in 30 minutes and then I can move up to the to workshop and try to concentrate on the curtains etc I have to do.

Savvy_sewing

I finished a coat I was hand sewing the hems on, then I went upstairs to do curtains.
I shortened 6 pairs of curtains in the end. Which will bring in £215 eventually. I didn't manage anything else.
But as I sat up in the workshop with the CD player on, (and the heater) and had a bit of time to think.
So having thumped the diary so much, written the things down on here this morning, I have decided that at the moment I do still want to do the shop, that I have a better life work balance working for myself, that renewing the lease, depending on the terms is still what I want to do.
That although I have itchy feet, I don't want to house swap with DS, I want to stay here. I have paid out a lot of money for the drive, and the housing are upgrading so I am lucky that I don't have to foot those bills.
I have decided that if my friend is not interested in any change in the relationship then it does mean that I can continue to make my own decisions and if I wanted to move in retirement I can.
That I am spending a decent amount of time with my mum, and that she wouldn't want me to stop everything to be with her, and as long as she is capable of being on her own then she is fine.
I talk to her everyday and see her about twice. If she needs me I will be there.
I have decided that I have quite a problem with the clutter and that I have to stop planning to declutter and start to actually do it.
I have decided that I am entitled to the benefits help I get, and that I should try to enjoy what I am doing again, and if I can reduce and loose the need to claim that I will, but not to fret so much about having to be self sufficient. I am being too hard on myself because of something the BF said to me 3 years ago.
So I hope I will sleep better tonight and that I will enjoy my shop again and look forward to having a reasonable work life balance, which must be better then a huge bank balance and exhaustion. (Although when the bank balances are higher it would make it easier).

So there is my latest thoughts on my personal world and I hope I will now move on

dktreesea

Usually businesses for sale that are based in bricks and mortar shops are leasehold rather than including the sale of the freehold for the premises. Clothing alteration businesses can go for anything over £15k, depending on turnover, rent, remaining years on lease etc. For example:
http://www.daltonsbusiness.com/buy/service-businesses-for-sale/clothing-alterations


If you still enjoy doing the business, to me that's a good reason to continue. You're building something that can be sold when you are finally ready to retire, be that this year or in ten years time. In the meantime you get to do something you are passionate about for a living. Not everyone makes it to that stage.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks again!
I wish my rent was only £280 a month. Then I really would be earning a better wage. £470 more! Oh well. I am lucky that I have managed to build a business from nothing but an spur of the moment decision and hard graft. Without huge bank loans and debt.
I have regular clients and new ones find me every day. I don't think there is a day yet when someone comes in and is surprised to know we have been there over two years.
the town is expanding and new housing is being built all around. So the client base is expanding too.
the secession I must make is how I evolve the business and where I am best to focus and on what I need help with.

elona

Mooloo

Could you make something like "the biggest Christmas stocking ever" and call the local paper saying you will raffle it off for charity.

It would give you positive publicity and let people know about you.