Mooloo's little tapestry of life, 2016

geminilady

Oh Mooloo,
As people have said maybe it is time to make a clean break,you have tried so hard to make it work but you know it is not going to happen.You both want different things.That is not going to change.You can still be happy without a man in your life.You have family who love you,a good business.Why waste your energy on a relationship that is going nowhere.

Savvy_sewing

Old Habits, soft heart I suppose
My Mum has come down with the sickness bug, staff is off with the coughs and cold she started at the beginning of the week
I was busy up and down the stairs, people dropping of clothes, and collecting, some habadashery sales and some browsers.
I didn't get much work done. I tried to but I couldn't get momentum.
I had to stop and Ring one customer and apologies theat her job won't be started until tomorrow now. I had said I'd deliver it in the morning before work.
I have a client coming to the house as they couldn't make it during opening hours. But I won't sew tonight.
I am hoping to get a good start tomorrow and will set up a basic sewing machine downstairs and see if that helps me.
I will bring work home over the weekend if necessary.

I will try to put all the other things in my life on the back burner until the Christmas holidays are over.
I will try anyway

Savvy_sewing

I still ended up with long text conversations with ex. He doesn't want me to give up on him, he wants a future and he is willing to give me more of his time.
That is the hook.
I was listening but I couldn't be happy about it. I don't think I will really be happy with that either. I definitely need to stop communicating with him as you all say. I will try harder today I promise.
I have to focus on work today and tomorrow or I will not be finished.
Sunday I have family to attend to and presents still to wrap.
I have a suitcase to pack for dgd as well
I have been my own worst enemy this week.

Feral_Moon

How many more times are you going to allow him to do this to you Mooloo? I don't mean to sound harsh but unless you end all contact with him now then you will forever be on this rollercoaster with him.

I recall previously how he berated you for discussing your relationship on here which leads me to wonder whether there's an element of control or, dare I say it, some form of emotional abuse going on here. If so, you need to get out now whilst you can.

Block his phone number and enjoy the next few weeks as you've got much to look forward to. You don't NEED him in your life xx

Savvy_sewing

Feral_Moon wrote: »

How many more times are you going to allow him to do this to you Mooloo? I don't mean to sound harsh but unless you end all contact with him now then you will forever be on this rollercoaster with him.

I recall previously how he berated you for discussing your relationship on here which leads me to wonder whether there's an element of control or, dare I say it, some form of emotional abuse going on here. If so, you need to get out now whilst you can.

Block his phone number and enjoy the next few weeks as you've got much to look forward to. You don't NEED him in your life xx

Several years ago we split up and then drifted back into friends and then it restarted. Sometimes I wonder why I feel the need to still try.
I think Deep down I just don't want to be a failure and hate letting people down. Instead of that I let myself down.
my head is playing yo-yo with my heart. I don't think he needs to play mind games anymore I think I do it all by myself.

I am stronger each time, but each time I get to this stage I feel guilty that I gave up on him. This time I really thought I had worked it all out and was just going to walk away into my future but I think I forgot the mind games would begin again eventually and hence I doubt my decision.
Head tells me that I will move on now. I have just got to change my routine and habits so when I am on my own I keep myself occupied and don't look backwards again.
At least next week I am away, that will help.

thorsoak

Mooloo - do you ever read back over your past threads?

One thing comes to mind - every time BEFORE you have a break up with your friend, you start doubting yourself, how well you are managing, if you have a future with what you are doing, if you are supporting your children enough/too much etc etc etc. Then comes the break up - initiated by your friend who wants different things to you.

I was told one time that people fall into two categories - drains and radiators. Radiators throw out warmth and comfort. Drains lower confidence, happiness and wellbeing. You come into the category of radiator - but your friend??


Sounds familiar? xxxxx

duchy

Is this the same chap as before ?
Moo my dear this all sounds awfully familiar , him saying he wants more when things end and not producing the goods when you agree to try again. This might be one roundabout you either want to get off or downsize to friends with benefits for the sake of your sanity.

He definitely seems to undermine your confidence Thor is spot on.

candlelight_2013

Mooloo, I read every day but hardly ever post. I so agree with the last 3 posts, it is like de ja vous. I was wondering whether your friend was in the picture during the summer when your DGD was having difficulties with her behaviour.

Have a lovely holiday with your Mum

Candlelightx

Savvy_sewing

Yes same chap.
I realised today a few things while on my own in the shop I listened to some life coaching videos from the author of two of the books I read recently and it occurred to me that FEAR was why I have acted the way I have. Not fear of him, but fear of making mistakes, fear of failure and fear of the unknown.
I am trying to keep that light bulb moment and make my resolve stronger and get me moving forward even though I am fearful, but because all of you also have reminded me of past episodes. I realise that your all shouting at your screens at me, and that alone should give me the strength to keep going and stop looking back.
my mother and I will have a great holiday and after Christmas I will come back with my new agenda.
I will let go. I have got to.

Thanks ladies for reminding me of the past, and your right I can't keep doing it again and again.
I have to face my fear

thorsoak

Well done Mooloo! And so what if something fails? At least you have tried!

Fear is like a cancer - grows in the night, it eats at you, your self-esteem, your confidence, it worries at "what will others think/judge" and enhances negative thoughts. But when you face it, fear shrinks away - it doesn't do well in the light. Turn it back on itself - so what if you are left "alone"? You have DGD with you at the moment, but when she hs grown up, you can do what you want, when you want - or not do anything! Budgeting? What have you been doing successfully for the last umpteen years? You have managed - and managed quite well - albeit by the seat of your pants!

You've done most of this on your own - without support of a partner - and if and when you do get a partner, it will be someone who will be in awe of what you have achieved, and will respect you for the beautiful person that you've become.

Just keep trucking on, pull on your big girl knickers, and your brave girl boots - and walk all over your problems xxx