Christmas Dilemma - WWYD?

pinkshoes

I had my twins at 34 weeks and we have been in hospital a week.

It is Christmas in 2 Days...

Twin 2 will not be able to come home. Twin 1 is likely to get discharged today/tomorrow.

I have two options:

A) Me stay in hospital with both twins, hopefully in a single ward room. Twin 1 and I have shared a room for a week, and twin 2 is currently still in care as he is struggling to maintain his temp and thus struggling to feed.

go home with twin 1 and be with DS (5) and DH, visiting the hospital for 4 hours a day. It is a 50 mile round trip. twin 2 would be under great care.

Either way the family will be split up.

What would you do?

FBaby

Only you know how you feel, but I think I would go with B, and the reason being that although all three need you, only your eldest son understands the meaning on that particular day. Your twins need you but no more on that day that the others.

Then maybe you can have another little celebration when both your twins are home.

Ellsey

If it was me, option 2. However, are you breastfeeding/ expressing as that would impact option 2 if you need to be at hospital to express etc?

74jax

Everyone is completely different. I would do option 1, I've been split up many times from my DD and DH the last few years, choosing to spend Christmas day in hospital with my Dad. I only chose to stay with Dad as I'd worry if I wasn't with him, that's the only reason, so I might as well have been there.


However, just because I would pick option A, doesn't mean it's right for YOU.

lindens

B as twin 2 wont know or understand but DS will realise but not necessarily understand,.

Person_one

How long until twin 1 is likely to be discharged?

If you go home with twin 2 will it be on day leave or will you have to give up your room?

ETA: Congratulations by the way! Hope they are both home safe and well soon.

onlyroz

If you are breastfeeding then I'd stay in hospital. Would you be able to stay in hospital but just go home for a while on Christmas day?

duchy

Why don't you book into a hotel near to the hospital so you can breastfeed and spend time at the hospital ? That way you can all be together over the day.

Hotels that don't have a Christmas festivity programme are often very reasonably priced. The hospital can probably recommend one and maybe even get you an NHS rate.

It'll give you time with both babies and it'll be easier after a couple of days to split your time (easier not easy of course)

euronorris

I like duchy's suggestion.


If that is not an option for you, I'd personally go with option 1. It's easier for your hubby and DS to travel to you at the hospital on Christmas Day than it is for you, hubby, DS and Twin 1 all to travel in together. Plus, you're right there for Twin 2 if needs be.


But that's just my personal feelings on the matter. What matters here is your feelings and what you feel most comfortable with.


Congratulations on the birth! And I hope they are both home with you soon, safe and well


x

waterbaby

Congratulation pinkshoes!!

I have twins, and my eldest was 5 when the twins were born.

Personally I'd be looking at this through the 5 year old's eyes. I think I'd prioritise having the whole family together at Christmas, as much as possible.

I don't think that the location is important in itself for the 5 year old - he'll understand (on a basic level) that baby 2 can't come home yet, but more that he sees that he is still just as important to you, so you have a proper family gathering, wherever it is. I didn't have one baby ready to go and one not, so I'm not sure if I'd have left one behind, but from other twin parents I know that that's just the way it is and you do get your head round it.

I was really keen that my 5 year old saw that we wanted to include him and be with him. It's a time of adjustment for him, and it's important that he doesn't feel that he is now playing second fiddle to the twins in your eyes. (I know that he wouldn't be - but it's about his perception, if you are suddenly busy with the twins all the time.)

pollypenny

I'd go for option 2 as well. Your 5 year old must be feeling a bit lost at the moment, although I'm sure you're doing everything you can to include him.

The little one in hospital won't know any different.

Congratulations on their arrival and hope both will be home and well very soon.