I have started volunteering, but still can't get damn job!

suki1964

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Look - just accept that you need to get a job - ANY JOB!

The bluff and bluster about a preferred career is just smoke and mirrors.

You are not currently in a position to be choosy - be realistic and see this as a long game. You first need to start on the square marked 'go' and only then can you collect 'experience cards' as you move along.

Seriously - you need to consider getting professional help and support in finding and maintaining a realistic approach to finding a job.

All you're doing at the moment is rearranging the deck chairs while the boat is sinking.

You took the words right out of my mouth

Hedylogos, you don't have the luxury of deciding what career you want as you haven't the education or training, and you have done nothing about getting that in place in all the years you have been sat on the dole procrastinating

YOU NEED A JOB

Now get of your backside and get a NMW, zero hour contract job, same as everyone else who doesn't have an education has to do, and use that money to pay your evening classes and courses to further your interests



I'm 52. I started work at 15. I never have the luxury of sitting around wishing to be a writer or musician, if I didn't work, my family didn't get fed. I've had many different jobs in my lifetime, never a career. Some I've enjoyed more then others. Some have paid extremely well,,others have been NMW. It doesn't matter. What matters is I'm not sat at home picking navel fluff, claiming anxiety and depression while the tax payer funds it. Oh and yes I too have social anxiety, have suffered in the past with such severe depression I was sectioned, but it's work that keeps me bloody sane.

I love getting out the house and interacting with other people. Even when my mood is way down, an hour caught up into my work soon shakes me out of it. Indeed since my breakdown back in 98 I've had the grand total of 9 days sick, not one for depression

Why do you just not give it a go? Apply for every bloody job out there, even if it's cleaning toilets in a night club. You can always tell perspective employers that you have been a carer until now if you want to cover your time out of work

Candyapple

BigAunty wrote: »

For example, you like psychology and have an empathy with those who experience Mental Health problems. So this could lend itself to your becoming a counsellor or MH nurse, for example. However, you are going to have to do this in baby steps over years which might start with GCSEs, relevant voluntary work, college classes in health or counselling, then perhaps an Open University or standard Uni degree so this could be 6-10 years away.

I think this is key here, the timeframe of having a career and not just a job, especially since the OP is in essence starting out from the bottom but is 10 years behind everyone already.

All the advice everyone has given the OP regarding gaining more qualifications - it all sounds fabulous planning out a career and what you need to do, however the reality is a lot harsher especially when you are fast approaching your 30s and have been out of the school/academia environment for over a decade. Getting to grips with studying again, and then balancing that with working part-time / volunteering is going to be a hard slog even for someone who doesn’t suffer with MH issues. Having to go through years of essays, exams, coursework, dissertations, late nights etc. you will need a heck of a lot of self-motivation at the best of times to keep going. Not forgetting that certain careers (e.g. Psychology) competition is fierce and average or minimum pass grades won’t get you into the best courses at your uni of choice. Based on OP’s previous posts what I think would happen is OP would decide on a course, start it, get bored and quit. It’s almost like you have a fear of missing out on I don’t know what, perhaps wanting to be an expert in all the things you like so you have ended up in the situation of being a jack of all trades and master of none, hence why you’ve been directionless for so long. Not to mention the OP has already stated in another one of his previous threads:

I just don't cope well in the traditional study sense, so for e.g. all the classroom learning, test taking and essay writing.

This is the thing, i really don't know if i would cope. I would like to think i would, but i've been out of education for so long, and on top of this i have never been someone who has consistently done well in a formal educational environment.

So I think you are all wasting your time with suggestions of studying, that ship has sailed. Get your Maths/English GSCE’s if you can, but I just get the feeling from your posts that uni is not for you. At least not as a ‘normal’ student attending a full-time course at a university, maybe Open University at a push, however I think your inability to stick with something until the end will come back and bite you in the bum and then you’ll end up with x-amount of student debt and with no degree to show for it.

OP if there was a job cleaning toilets available and it was for NMW and the company said they would hire you, would you take it?

[Deleted User]

Ever think you are being had...

BigAunty

Deleted%20User wrote: »

Ever think you are being had...

I'd say it was more 'ground hog day' than Troll, to be honest.

A sympathetic interpretation is that the OP has anxiety/depression issues because they are out of work and because of their Mental Health issues, they then are considered less employable and have to try even harder to secure a job (when job seeking is already tough anyway and when their issues interfere with progress). The two things - unemployment and MH issues - ultimately feed and maintain each other.

There are plenty of less sympathetic interpretations that have been posted here, along the lines that the OP simply doesn't have the drive or insight to address their issues and this is why they drift and stagnate, that its not their MH status that has caused them to have virtually no skills, lack girlfriend/friends, qualifications or employment experience, but simply because they can't seem to focus, are restless, just can't stick at anything and won't accept responsibility.

In other words, its their personality and behaviour which makes them a weak student and poor employee. Personally, I was very disappointed when they claimed to be in employment to impress a girl (relationship forum) because while it highlights how humiliating they find unemployment, it does flag up a lack of integrity.

BigAunty

I think posters should be more sympathetic to the OPs mental health issues as its hard to find a job without MH issues and with a strong CV anyway. He's clearly been robbed of his confidence to follow through, compromises his decision making.

I think the OP should try to understand the reciprocity involved in a forum - the posters get frustrated when the time and energy they commit by providing advice seems to be acted on in a partially and intermittently.

Perhaps the OP could go through all the advice to date, group them into relevant areas (education/training, careers advice, job applications/CV, health, self employment, etc).

Then draw up a plan that involves not just dipping into a minority of the advice with a little bit of research here and then and then failing to follow through but which actually lists tasks and a completion date.

For example

Revamp CV
- step 1 - research advice sites (complete by 07/01)
- step 2 - draw up new CV based on advice (complete by 08/01)
- step 3 - get it reviewed by appropriate person (complete by 09/01)
- step 4 - submit to all the major recruitment sites (complete by 10/01)

Self employment
- step 1 - research websites for business ideas (complete by x date)
- step 2 - research further selected idea/draft basic business plan (complete by x date)
- step 3 - contact Princes Trust for mentoring/funding (complete by x date)
- step 4 - look into Employment Support Allowance for mentoring/funding (complete by x date).

The OP could draw up their plan on this forum and get it critiqued, then populate a final plan and post status updates.

At least that way, their approach would be more systematic and gives them a structure and focus that their freestyling/dithering/restless one currently lacks.

What do you think?

suki1964

BigAunty wrote: »

I think posters should be more sympathetic to the OPs mental health issues as its hard to find a job without MH issues and with a strong CV anyway. He's clearly been robbed of his confidence to follow through, compromises his decision making.

I think the OP should try to understand the reciprocity involved in a forum - the posters get frustrated when the time and energy they commit by providing advice seems to be acted on in a partially and intermittently.

Perhaps the OP could go through all the advice to date, group them into relevant areas (education/training, careers advice, job applications/CV, health, self employment, etc).

Then draw up a plan that involves not just dipping into a minority of the advice with a little bit of research here and then and then failing to follow through but which actually lists tasks and a completion date.

For example

Revamp CV
- step 1 - research advice sites (complete by 07/01)
- step 2 - draw up new CV based on advice (complete by 08/01)
- step 3 - get it reviewed by appropriate person (complete by 09/01)
- step 4 - submit to all the major recruitment sites (complete by 10/01)

Self employment
- step 1 - research websites for business ideas (complete by x date)
- step 2 - research further selected idea/draft basic business plan (complete by x date)
- step 3 - contact Princes Trust for mentoring/funding (complete by x date)
- step 4 - look into Employment Support Allowance for mentoring/funding (complete by x date).

The OP could draw up their plan on this forum and get it critiqued, then populate a final plan and post status updates.

At least that way, their approach would be more systematic and gives them a structure and focus that their freestyling/dithering/restless one currently lacks.

What do you think?

To be fair now Bigaunty, we don't know he has mental health issues

He has said he did when he was younger, but has admitted he was only back at the GP about his issues in November when the GP arranged some counselling sessions.

I would have thought if he had true mental health issues that stopped him being able to function in the real world, he would be on ESA and not JSA

I'm not in anyway doubting that he has social anxiety and is probably suffering low mood due to his situation , both of which can be treated by getting out there and getting involved, be it in employment or a voluntary role

I'm not unsympathetic. It's just for 6 months we have heard the same thing, and a million reasons why he can't work. He never answers any but the most superficial questions but takes flights of fancy at the drop of a hat

He has even been offered work on these threads, and he ignores the post, only answering those that are pandering to him

Topaz tiger took three years to get a job and he got some stick for taking a zero hour contract. Yet he was a young man who wanted of benefits and wanted to work so he took it, even having to face walking home after a late shift. He's even answered to Hedylogos, encouraging him to give volunteering or a zero hour contract a try - and has been ignored

As posted above, I think we have been had

topaztiger1983

As Suki said I have had to even consider walking home (7.5 miles) at 11:30pm and I still took the job, even though I got stick on here for it

BigAunty

suki1964 wrote: »

I would have thought if he had true mental health issues that stopped him being able to function in the real world, he would be on ESA and not JSA

The 'flights of fancy' criticism is valid and the partial follow through of a few cherry picked ptions from those that have been suggested is disappointing to see.

However, my experience of posts on the Benefit Forum is that it is very difficult to secure ESA for some mental health issues and other conditions that aren't considered chronic or which are variable in nature.

In the past, a person like the OP could have probably merrily stagnated on Incapacity Benefit for years it had a much lower entry criteria and less harsher criteria. But ESA is a completely different ball-game. I see frequent posts from long-term benefit claimants who received IB for their anxiety/depression etc without any issue who have failed their appeals for ESA.

BigAunty

suki1964 wrote: »

As posted above, I think we have been had

Do you mean that he's a troll or wind up merchant who has invented an online persona?

Or do you mean that he is either intentionally fishing for advice without any desire to put it into action?

Or do you think it is an unintentional thing - the OP is not particularly conscious that their posts are actually a stalling tactic which simply makes him to defer the activities he really needs to take to get a job?

suki1964

BigAunty wrote: »

Do you mean that he's a troll or wind up merchant who has invented an online persona?

Or do you mean that he is either intentionally fishing for advice without any desire to put it into action?

Or do you think it is an unintentional thing - the OP is not particularly conscious that their posts are actually a stalling tactic which simply makes him to defer the activities he really needs to take to get a job?

I'm calling WUM

6 months on here and all his posts are about him ( other then just one)

He logs on, does the woe is me post,gives the ones who pander to him some more sob story, then logs off

Couple of weeks later he does the same

And again and again


Not one bit of advice or offer of a job has he taken up and when he's not baiting on here, he's doing the same on the marriage relationship board

Now I'd love to be proved wrong because I'm one of the ones who have done my best to offer good sound advice