I have started volunteering, but still can't get damn job!

topaztiger1983

Have you looked into cognitive behaviour therepy as it help me with my depression as well as working

Tiddlywinks

Hedylogos wrote: »

As for the work, i admit i probably should have tried to do more but my lack of motivation and confidence has been so low. I just felt and still do feel like it's an uphill struggle now because of the years out of employment. Some days i just feel like what's the point because i feel my life is wasted and i will just be working in a dead end job for the rest of my life, even though i want more. i didn't want to go back to the doctors nay more because it's embarrassing to admit how i feel so i have just refused to go back and instead i want to try concentrate on volunteering and keep on applying for jobs. I have been slacking because i haven't felt in the mood for much recently, but i need to start applying to more jobs in the coming days. I have volunteering on Thursday so until then i will send out more applications.

All your posts above are a bit 'poor little old me - I'm doing my best really - honest I am'... You are trying to say the things you think we want to hear... not very convincingly to be honest.

I think you are holding on to your MH issues as a crutch and an excuse - it's easier to be able to blame something than just accept that you are normal and are experiencing problems that also affect millions of other job seekers at one time or another.

Do you honestly think that you are the only one who has found job hunting tough? But life is hard sometimes - things just don't fall into your lap unless you're very lucky.

(as an aside, you found the motivation to start dating so why not job hunting)

You said in the above quote: 'I will just be working in a dead end job for the rest of my life, even though I want more.'

That says it all really about your attitude to work and life. You are not what you 'do for a living' - you are much more than that.

So what if someone cleans toilets or makes burgers for a living - that doesn't mean they are less of a person than a CEO of a multi-national or a world class brain surgeon.

A person, any person, can reach their own potential in other ways - charity / volunteering, family life, friendships, hobbies, art etc.

Besides - society just can't afford to fund everyone to stay unemployed simply because they would prefer not to do a NMW job and 'want more'.

You need to come to terms with the fact that we can't all be high flyers in our careers BUT we can still enjoy a productive life anyway - it's all in your hands.

You can wallow in the 'woe is me' funk or you can decide to make the best of what life actually IS in the here and now.

Over to you...

BigAunty

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

You can wallow in the 'woe is me' funk or you can decide to make the best of what life actually IS in the here and now.

Over to you...

Since the OP is in a library (not that you need to work there to access books anyway), there should be lots of self-help books relating to coping with depression, anxiety, positive thinking, happiness and the like. There might be books or CDs on mediation. The OP may find that material inspiring.

I would recommend Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now'. It's not an easy read in parts. However, there are great explanations about the negative voice in the head that overwhelms people and suggestions on how to challenge it.

There is also a good introduction into why living in the present moment is the best way to prevent suffering. He outlines a great concept of 'chronological time' (clock time) and 'psychological time' (dwelling on memories of the past or fretting about the future) which helps explain how anxiety works when these are misaligned.

I would also recommend the OP signs up to Mindscape which is a cheap or free online/phone app meditation course.

They could perhaps start a thread in the Health section outlining their MH issues and asking for recommendations on courses and materials that could help them.

EllieBrown

A poster who only posts about his lack of job and how he can't get a gf? Reminds me of someone else who only used to post the very same topics.

Amazed no one has worked out yet who the OP actually is.

BigAunty

EllieBrown wrote: »

A poster who only posts about his lack of job and how he can't get a gf? Reminds me of someone else who only used to post the very same topics.

Amazed no one has worked out yet who the OP actually is.

Ah, there was a guy who used to pop up more on the Relationship forum whose name I can't remember who was living at home, unemployed and suffering from anxiety. So three ticks in the box.

However, the style of posts don't quite mesh as the one I am thinking of used to boast of his conquests and belittle women but this poster doesn't seem disrespectful.

Is that the poster you are thinking of?

*Robin*

prosaver wrote: »

try a teacher assistant course
loads of people get jobs after that

Until Hedylogos has maths and English GCSEs this is unattainable. For those who have been out of education for some years, an equivalent course can be taken at the local FE college (often alongside another subject which the student wishes to study).

Hedylogos wrote: »

I think Suki is right in saying fresh air and exercise is a good idea because i only volunteer 4 hours 2 days a week and then i just head home after, so i need to start going for walks or just take a walk around town otherwise being stuck at home just doesn't help. I sit down to write at home, but then i get inside my head and start thinking about finding a job, money, career etc and can't concentrate on writing. This is why i think getting out will do me good.

Find your local pet rescue shelter, Hedylogos. They are certain to be grateful for another dog-walker.. You get fresh air, regular exercise, and unconditional adoration from the inmates who are waiting for their fur-ever home.
Plus, it will help fill in the huge gaps in your CV.