My special boy was PTS yesterday and I can't stop crying

Crystallady

He was diagnosed with pancreatitis last Tuesday then they found numerous tumours in his organs :-(
I always knew it would be bad when he left us because he was such a special loving !!!!!cat, especially since we lost our other 18yr old fur baby 2 years ago.
He ate when we ate, slept on our bed, spent each evening curled up on my lap intermittently sitting up and tapping me with his paw when he wanted a stroke or 10 and talked to us all the time.
DH is just as sad as I am and it feels like my heart is breaking. We know there was no choice and we did the right thing for him but he was so glad to see us at the vet yesterday - tried to get up when he heard our voices but was too week. Still managed to purr when we stroked him bless his heart. Hubby and son are going to bury him in his favourite spot in the garden today I just feel so bereft so sad.

tea_lover

I'm so sorry for your loss. You did everything you could for him and it sounds like he had a wonderful life with your family. I hope in time that the lovely memories you have will be a comfort (although I appreciate it won't feel like it now). Take care x.

harrys_nan

Oh bless you, it is so hard when that time comes, the time we all dread.
He had a brilliant life with you and even though you didn't want to say goodbye you did and that is the greatest way to show your love for him.
Remember all the happy times you had with him, time will heal you. (((hugs )))

*zippy*

I'm so sorry for you loss crystallady, it is so hard to lose them. We lost our beloved dog a few months ago, I thought I'd never stop crying, but it is just starting to get easier and we talk about our happy memories of her, my DD bought me a Christmas ornament to put on the tree in memory of her. Give yourself time to grieve, you gave him a lovely loving home and did the right thing when he needed you to make that hard decision, love and hugs to you xxx

Crystallady

Thank you all for your replies x
Mrs Drink I've just read about your lovely Bunny and can relate to everything you say. It's very raw at the moment and I keep hearing my boy's claws on the wood floor in the hall padding his way to whichever room we were in, coming to say hello.

scaredy_cat

my old sugar cat went to the rainbow bridge 4 years ago and it was the hardest decision i had to make, every ounce of me wanted to try anything to keep her going but the time had come. even now i will shed a few tears thinking about it.

i still look occasionally at the heater expecting her to be curled up in front of it.

misty_blue_2

Crystallady wrote: »

He was diagnosed with pancreatitis last Tuesday then they found numerous tumours in his organs :-(
I always knew it would be bad when he left us because he was such a special loving !!!!!cat, especially since we lost our other 18yr old fur baby 2 years ago.
He ate when we ate, slept on our bed, spent each evening curled up on my lap intermittently sitting up and tapping me with his paw when he wanted a stroke or 10 and talked to us all the time.
DH is just as sad as I am and it feels like my heart is breaking. We know there was no choice and we did the right thing for him but he was so glad to see us at the vet yesterday - tried to get up when he heard our voices but was too week. Still managed to purr when we stroked him bless his heart. Hubby and son are going to bury him in his favourite spot in the garden today I just feel so bereft so sad.

so sorry for your loss
it is the hardest thing to have to do
he obviously had a loving home and a great family to give him a life of love,and someone he could love in return
as hard as it is he is at peace now, no more suffering
sending hugs
xx

charlie3090

When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes and all they have to those they love.
I, too, would make a will if I could write.

To some poor wistful, lonely stray
I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cozy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy.
The well loved lap, the gentle stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone’s heart,
The love that at the last could help me to
A peaceful painless end
Held in loving arms.

If I should die, Oh do not say,
“No more a pet I’ll have, to grieve me by it’s loss”
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is the legacy I leave behind -
’til all I have to give.

Author Unknown,

sheramber

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!

I made a promise then and I keep that promise now . . .
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone. \
It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fears ride high, Just when I need you most, I must let you go.
It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready.
For without your guidance, I will not know When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger, My sorrow and my selfish heart aside And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow,
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken, and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made, This one brings no relief . . . no comfort . . . no peace. For if there's one thing you've taught me, If there's only one thing I've learned. . . .
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go,
when you speak to me I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here,
it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories . . . In the dark and lonely days ahead.

I cannot say I will not miss you,
I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this: as long as I live, You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.
So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift . . . sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love . . .
For only the greatest love can say, "Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again, Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

meritaten

my heart goes out to you and your OH. The grief is awful isn't it? but, be assured you did the right thing. our family has had two dogs and three cats and all had to be PTS. in one or two cases my regret has been it has been a couple of weeks too late really to prevent suffering. the awful pain does pass and remembering happy/funny times seem to come more naturally.
my thoughts are with you.

meritaten

I know it helped my son to post an 'obituary' for his much loved cat Felix. if you feel it would help, then tell us all about him. anecdotes of things he did and how much you love and miss him. doesn't matter how long it is.