Menopause, partner struggling to cope

Poppie68

britishboy wrote: »

have answered some points in red (hope its worked)

Don't knock Jeremy Kyle it keeps many menopausal ladies amused.... It gives us the belief that we compared to his guests are quite normal...

gettingtheresometime

Oh OP you have my sympathy.

I suspect that I'm perimenopausal and for the last week I am fully aware that my hormones have been all over the place; I must be diplomacy personified as I have wanted to rip certain people's heads off.....I would have done it as well only apparently doing it to work colleagues is frowned upon.......


Does she exercise? Exercise apparently releases endorphins which gives you a natural high .....might explain why I feel so bad as I haven't done as much walking as I usual do

tomtontom

If it's hell for you OP just think what your girlfriend must be going through.

If your gf wants help then she should see her GP and/ or ask for a referral. There are numerous HRT products available, and several forums where she can read about the experiences of others. She might also want to look at bio identical HRT, which tends to have less side effects than synthetic hormones. HysterSisters would be a good starting point for her.

thriftyemma

I know you said she has tried different herbal remedies, but...
Has she tried starflower oil? The active ingredient, GLA, is meant to help regulate female hormones and is often recommended for women going through the menopause. It can also help improve skin condition. My (male) OH takes it, and it has worked wonders for his eczema. GLA is also found in vegetable oils, and other supplements such as evening primrose oil, but starflower oil is a more concentrated, more efficient source.
As someone said previously, taking herbal remedies or dietary supplements is a long game. It usually takes up to 3 months for the benefits to become really apparent.

LilElvis

I would definitely suggest that she goes back to her gp to discuss her prescription as, from experience, I know that the different types of HRT and dosages can make a dramatic difference. I would be extremely wary of combining them with herbal remedies as some can actually reduce the efficacy of hormone treatment. I hope she can find something that works for her - it's hellish when you don't recognize yourself anymore and feel powerless when you go into meltdown mode, even when you know you're being a total b!tch.

Mrs_Ryan

Poppie68 wrote: »

Don't knock Jeremy Kyle it keeps many menopausal ladies amused.... It gives us the belief that we compared to his guests are quite normal...

This made me howl :rotfl: I'm menopausal and love a bit of Jezza

catoutthebag

It's come to Jeremy kyle?
THIS IS THE POINT OF NO RETURN.
God bless you both

suki1964

OMG I so know where your partner is at

I sailed through puberty and menstruation, but the menopause......................
I swear i dont know myself and its horrible

I finally got HRT tabs a couple of months ago, they ease the night sweats which mean I can sleep which mean Im not so irritable

But

I cry

Im in bits over EVERYTHING and cos Im so emotional - no one else can soothe me - I just want to kill !!!

No answers Im afraid, Hubby is doing really well with me atm but I am getting worse

Myself Im coping with red wine and knowing it cant last forever

Seriously though, she needs to go back to her GP. Some are more aware then others about how the change can affect us and are more au fait with the latest in modern medicine There is room for herbal medicine so Im told, unfortunately Im a kind of "fix now" when it comes to me so Ive never found them to work

FBaby

What you need to do is look at it from another perspective. Firstly, do believe that it is real and can be explained medically, so make sure you don't start questioning whether she is using the menopause as an excuse for being nasty. It sounds that you have accepted this, so that's a good start.

Then consider yourself lucky because it is her experiencing it, not you. If it was you, you would be like her!

Then go with it showing your sympathy. Remember how you feel when you sleep badly for a few days...then imagine the same multiplied by 10 if not more. Exhaustion will make you grumpy and emotional.

Some women respond best by being left alone, sympathy making them feel even worse. Others though revert to being like vulnerable children who want someone to make everything better. You need to be clear which makes your girlfriend better. If it is the first, then let her get it all out, be strong by not taking any of it personally, don't rise to anything she says, remember that she loves you and it isn't personal and just disappear at least mentally until she calms down, then act it never happened.

If she needs comfort to get over it, just give her extra attention and sympathy. Not easy to do when you are being bombarded, but again, remember that it isn't fun for her either, so take a deep breath and comfort her physically, tell her you love her, that she looks beautiful etc.., and then do little things to surprise her that you know will make her happy.

When it gets to the point when you think you can't cope anymore, remember that it really really won't last!

heuchera

To be fair, it is difficult for the OP, though. I know how hard it is to live with someone whose behaviour is unreasonable, erratic and difficult (not to mention dangerous at times!), also through medical reasons. There is only so much a partner can take. I hope the lady concerned shows some initiative and pushes to get more help than she's currently getting from her GP.