Time to say goodbye?

paddypaws101

Suki I was in a very similar situation with my old cat who was fading away but seemed ok in himself, until one day he was NOT ok and I had the clear sign that it was time.
My decision to keep on going day by day was in part influenced by the fact that I have a vet on the corner of my street so I knew I could make 'that' phone call pretty much anytime 24/7 and avoid any agonising wait or dash to an impersonal emergency vet.
My worry for you is that the time will come over Christmas itself and you may find it difficult to get hold of your preferred vet at the necessary time.
I think if I were you I would be planning a few days of extra cuddles and treats with a home visit booked at the end of it so that pooch can end his lovely life in a calm and settled environment.
I know how agonising this decision is....but I also know that at this stage in an animal's life there is very little joy for them and in fact it can be agonising for us having to watch them or worry about them every second of the day.
In my experience...making the decision is agonising, the actual deed itself is surprisingly gentle and quick....and there is a sense of peace and even relief afterwards.

jrtfan

suki1964 wrote: »

I think this is really what's holding me back. I really don't want to be the one to say enough is enough.

You will know this already but I'll say it anyway - nobody else can do it. The Vet can advise you but they'll only step in if they think there's a case of cruelty to answer.

I lost the little dog in my avatar back in April, to cancer. An aggressive type, underneath his tongue, at the very back. The Vet estimated 1 to 2 weeks at most from diagnosis but I worked my whatsits off to keep him going for as long as he still enjoyed life and this turned out to be just under 9 weeks in the end.

I'd had him from 9 weeks old and he died a couple of months before his 14th birthday. I knew every nuance of his personality as well as I know my own and I've kept his ashes so that they will be mixed in with mine and we'll be buried together when the time comes. Of all my dogs, he will be the only one with me.

I saw the Vet with him at least weekly throughout his final illness and was completely screwed up inside about making that final judgement call. It would have been a relief in a way for the Vet to have stepped in and said no more. On the other hand, my dog trusted me to look after him not the Vet, and if I'd given the decision over then my dog would never have had the fantastic bucket list we gave to him before he went.

My life would have been far less stressful had I not kept him going. But I didn't do it for me; I did it for him and because he was still so very happy and full of life. The very second this changed I knew about it and knew it was time to let him go.

Your situation is more difficult because of the nature of Alfie's condition and I've been in that position, too. To me, it doesn't sound like he's suffering but equally it doesn't sound like he's able to live a full life either, so maybe start mentally saying your goodbyes now but don't leave it for too much longer. I'm sorry, I wish there was something better I could say to help you, sincerely I do. I will be thinking of you though.

All the best xxx

Dird

He's blind in both eyes & completely deaf? Why would you have not put him to sleep earlier :f

misty_blue_2

suki1964 wrote: »

Thankyou everyone who have shared your own personal experiences. I thank you as I know how hard it can be to relive those times ( I can never talk about Gunnars passing without choking up )

I have the vets appointment tomorrow. I will hopefully be able to talk things through without getting too upset.

I think this is really what's holding me back. I really don't want to be the one to say enough is enough.

His legs gave way again last night as I was taking him down for his last wee for the night

I've been up most the night, sat here on the sofa and he never even knew I was in the room with him


Once again I thank you all for your posts and pm's

I don't think I will be able to return to this thread

Take care xx

No matter when he goes just remember you did your absolute best
Will be thinking of you

heartbreak_star

Suki, you sound like such a caring fur-mummy. I just wanted to send you some love.

HBS x

teddysmum

I'd like to add more :


Although he is blind, look into his eyes. If he looks lost and sad, it is time.


Something I didn't mention above : I had Benji, a collie cross, pts when he had a facial tumour, before he had pain, when the vet said his lump was about to lift his eyelids, thus making closing his eyes difficult and his eyes sore , through dryness.


When I came out of the vets building I sat in the car, hugged my other dog (Monty mentioned above) and cried with joy, because my boy wouldn't suffer and had enjoyed a lovely last morning in the woods.


It did help having another healthy dog. Monty in no way replaced Benji. Monty was Monty and there when I needed him.... and for the next 13 years.

Froglet

A Pet's Plea

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you muct do what must be done
For this, the last battle, can't be won.

You will be sad- I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than all the rest
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes, please let me go.

I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness you do to me
Although my tail, it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Don't grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close, we two these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

harrys_nan

teddysmum wrote: »

I'd like to add more :


Although he is blind, look into his eyes. If he looks lost and sad, it is time.

.

This ^^^^^ is exactly what I saw when I said goodbye to my oldie, she was 16, had had 2 strokes, cataracts losing her legs muscle, did not want to go for a walk anymore. She loved being in the garden sunbathing.But when I looked into to her eyes I could just see sadness, and now I'm sitting blubbing. I knew it was time. She was truly my best friend, she had been with me through a marriage breakup, losing my mum and my dad and gave me nothing but love.

harrys_nan

I know you're probably not, going to read this, but I have been thinking of you and your baby today, xx

zaksmum

I realised the time had come for my beloved old dog when I looked into her eyes and saw fear at the prospect of trying to go out in the garden for a wee.

That was seven weeks ago and although I'm still absolutely gutted, I know her pain is over and she is at peace.

And at the end of a long and happy life, that was the last loving kindness I could show her.