Time to say goodbye?

suki1964

Alfie is coming 12. He's blind and deaf now, has hypothyroidism, very shaky on his legs and now sleeps for around 20 hours a day

Whilst he still gets excited about a walk, he doesn't make it far, perhaps a hundred metres on a good day

I noticed there the other day he was very hesitant over the two very shallow back door steps, and yesterday he fell down the stairs ( luckily hubby was in front of him and caught him )
He's also forgetting he's just been out and gets stuck in a loop of tapping the door to go out, then barking to be let in

I really am stuck


We have been saying for weeks (months) that whilst he's still eating well he's ok, but now I'm querying if that is enough. Is that really quality of life?


I've always said I'd know when the time was right, but now I'm just not sure

Last night we said we would get through Christmas, but I've tossed and turned all night and I really am at a loss at what to do


With my last boy, he was so seriously ill that it was obvious when the time was right, Alfie's is such a slow decline

bugslet

Oh dear, that's sort of worse than an illness, where you know pretty much when is the right time..

I'd take Christmas out of the equation, Alfie doesn't know - if you want Xmas for him, have his own Xmas day with Turkey and mini sausages and a pressie.

What does your vet think - I know they are unlikely to say one way or the other, but it could help to talk things over with someone who has seen this happen many, many times.

I am of the 'week too early, rather than a day too late' school of thought, which in this case is not too helpful. But I kind of think the fact that the idea is more in your mind is a good hint. We know our animals so well that we pick up on small changes that we don't even consciously recognise, besides the obvious ones that you have mentioned.

Sorry tht isn't helpful really, but I know whatever happens will be done for all the right reasons.

Best of luck with your difficult decision.

PS I once had to put my 17 year old border collie down on Xmas Eve afternoon. I could have got him through a couple of more days, but it would have been for my benefit not his.

elliesmemory1

Have you spoken to your vet? Is he on medication? There are drugs to help with his senile moments.

teddysmum

When my last old boy became doddery, around 13, I used to close the hall door, at night, so he stayed downstairs. He's always slept upstairs, with the others, but took to downstairs quite quickly,going to his bed when he noticed we were ready for upstairs.

People say that as long as a dog is eating he must be not too bad, but a vet friend once said that the desire to eat is one of the last things a dog gives up on, unless the health problem is digestive system related.

I feel for you, as Monty was getting very thin (he had MVD, but his heart was doing well on meds) and we thought the time was near, but he decided for us, as he stopped eating very suddenly, was clearly unhappy so was pts.

It is very hard, as we took him to the vet who suggested one last hope, an injection, (I wanted to go ahead then,but my husband said he deserved the chance).It didn't work and he didn't eat overnight, so he was pts the next day.

Ironically he went to the vets consulting room , wagging his tail and people thought he was just an old boy come for his annual. At least he was happy at the end.

As in the post above, I am very much for too soon rather than too late. I let one dog go, when a painless tumour was about to harm his eye, but was glad, as he had a brilliant few days before his passing and never suffered.

I have 'seen' the too late scenario with two internet friends; one couldn't let go and the dog suffered terribly and the other was a case of not knowing how bad things were, so though the owner was very caring and had a home visit , both she and the vet found the procedure very difficult, as the poor dog's veins had completely collapsed.

My best wishes, whatever you decide.

Fosterdog

We are in the same situation with my girl, we didn't expect her to still be here by now (vet gave six months when she was diagnosed with CDRM, that was two years ago) there has been a steady but slow decline. We thought it was time earlier this year but she perked up a lot when our vet suggested an holistic treatment, it seemed to reverse her decline by six months practically overnight. The second time she perked up was when we took on a new foster, we were worried that a young dog would be too much for her but it gave her a new lease of life instead.

As it stands now we are going week by week with the vet ready for us to call any day, we know she is unlikely to still be with us much longer but it's not an easy decision to make. I've asked my very trusted vet to be blunt with us and if she thinks we are keeping her alive for our own sakes rather than her wellbeing she will tell us and she has agreed that as long as we monitor her closely for any further decline she does still have some time left.

We have the added guilt that we want to adopt our foster but don't want it to be like us replacing our girl, especially before she's even gone.

mel48rose

Such a sad time. Thoughts are with you, never an easy answer

Katiehound

I'm another of the 'week too early' brigade. Rather let your beloved pet go without suffering than dragging on... and for what reason? for your pet, or for you?

I certainly don't subscribe to the 'if he's eating he is fine idea.'

Rather I would look at his quality of life.If your husband had not been there to catch him on the stairs what would have happened? Would you forgive yourself if your elderly dog had a dreadful fall and suffered painful injuries?

I know it is a really hard decision but I have been there, done it more times than I care to remember. Any caring pet owner really doesn't want their pet to suffer. I would say let him go and remember all the wonderful times you have had together.

Thinking of you, take care

misty_blue_2

if you feel it is the right time for your dog to go then it is right
why not spend one last christmas with him so you can make a fuss of him
then let him go
i feel for you because as pet lovers it is what we dread
sending hugs xx

Kathy535

I so feel for you, it's such a hard decision. Yesterday I euthanised my beloved cat who had cancer, while he was struggling on and had some quality of life he clearly wasn't happy and although I doubt myself I beleive I made the right decision. Two things helped me. The first was to make a list of his three favourite things (in this case eating, sleeping and being petted) and asking if he still enjoyed at least two. He wasn't eating, didn't seem to be sleeping and didn't appear to like being stroked as much. The other thing was the 'last good day'. My husband and I discussed that we'd rather he went out on a relative high rather than doing it because we had to. Yesterday he went out in the rain, snuggled with his uncle-cat and got lots of attention before going to sleep.

There is also the HHHHHMM (or some variation thereof) that provides a measure of the quality of life by assessing some criteria such as pain management, hygiene etc. Personally I found it less helpful as it doesn't allow for a general lack of life enjoyment, my cat had lost his curiosity and had no interest in much anymore despite being in pain relief and still grooming etc.

The final thing we did was to have the vet come to our house. We couldn't bear the idea that he would spend his last 30mins or so stressed by the car journey and in the vets. It cost more but it was worth it, he was on our laps in the living room when he went.

It's such an upsetting decision to make and such a hard one. I really had to ask myself a hard question - was I exploring all the treatments to keep him alive for me or for him? I can't believe I will ever not miss him, he's left such a hole in my life but at least I know he didn't suffer for too long.

I'm thinking of you.

meritaten

I also think 'better a bit too early than too late' as I HAVE been very regretful of not letting my pets go sooner in the past.
as you have posted - my thought is, that it IS now time to let go and send him to the rainbow bridge.
Its a very hard decision - but if vet agrees now is the time - then better now than putting him through a really hard time.
all I can say is that I regretted waiting too long with my dog and my last cat.

GwylimT

Please stop him having access to any stairs.

As an owner it is your duty to prevent suffering through vet care, if that isn't possible then the animal does need to be put to sleep.

My uncle kept his dog alive for the sake of xmas, none of us visited as it was horrible being around the poor thing.