Time to say goodbye?

Artytarty

Just echoing the post above, sounds like you've really pulled the stops out. It's simply so sad when it comes to this. I've been there and I dread the next time too.

sheramber

And Sheramber, do you honestly think a stair lift is the best option? Seriously??

Where did I suggest a stair lift?

I said stair GATE. which would be fitted across the top or the bottom of the stair. Just as you would use a stair gate to prevent a child having access to a stair.

You do realise that all the reasons you have given for not pts now are for your benefit not your dog's.

Waiting until after Christmas won't make the grief and the sadness any less.

Please consider your dog. If you can say that he is happy and enjoying life in his own way then it is not time.

If he is not happy and finding life a struggle then it is time.

Or did you post on here so someone could tell you that it was not time, which is what you want to hear.

Buffythedebtslayer

It is awful. truly awful.

I am so sorry. I wish I could offer advice but I truly believe that we know when it is time for them to go. They do tell us. He will let you know.

XX

jrtfan

sheramber wrote: »

And Sheramber, do you honestly think a stair lift is the best option? Seriously??

Where did I suggest a stair lift?

I said stair GATE. which would be fitted across the top or the bottom of the stair. Just as you would use a stair gate to prevent a child having access to a stair.

You do realise that all the reasons you have given for not pts now are for your benefit not your dog's.

Waiting until after Christmas won't make the grief and the sadness any less.

Please consider your dog. If you can say that he is happy and enjoying life in his own way then it is not time.

If he is not happy and finding life a struggle then it is time.

Or did you post on here so someone could tell you that it was not time, which is what you want to hear.

No, I don't think the OP wants to hear this, to be fair. Talking things through with other people is a way to work through one's own thoughts, isn't it, especially in battles between our heart and our head. I did exactly the same thing when the decision had to be made with my Greyhound, I knew it was time but needed to work up to taking that step because - like with the OP's Alfie - it was a very slow decline and my dog wasn't in the same distress as he would have been with cancer, for example.


OP - it's an awful time for you but do trust yourself, you will know when the day arrives. Hugs xx

misty_blue_2

jrtfan wrote: »

No, I don't think the OP wants to hear this, to be fair. Talking things through with other people is a way to work through one's own thoughts, isn't it, especially in battles between our heart and our head. I did exactly the same thing when the decision had to be made with my Greyhound, I knew it was time but needed to work up to taking that step because - like with the OP's Alfie - it was a very slow decline and my dog wasn't in the same distress as he would have been with cancer, for example.


OP - it's an awful time for you but do trust yourself, you will know when the day arrives. Hugs xx

Well said :T

suki1964

sheramber wrote: »

And Sheramber, do you honestly think a stair lift is the best option? Seriously??

Where did I suggest a stair lift?

I said stair GATE. which would be fitted across the top or the bottom of the stair. Just as you would use a stair gate to prevent a child having access to a stair.

You do realise that all the reasons you have given for not pts now are for your benefit not your dog's.

Waiting until after Christmas won't make the grief and the sadness any less.

Please consider your dog. If you can say that he is happy and enjoying life in his own way then it is not time.

If he is not happy and finding life a struggle then it is time.

Or did you post on here so someone could tell you that it was not time, which is what you want to hear.

and yes I have stair gates, both top and bottom


And no I dont want someone to say this isnt the time


I was just questioning how much more do I do before it gets all too stupid and my lad suffers


And Yes |I know Im being bloody selfish.. OK I can just walk in the vets and demand my lad is PTS and I'm sure my vet will do so


DO YOU HONEST:Y THINK I WANT THAT?

which is why I was asking how selfish am i being????


Can you please define for me how a dog is happy???? Because right now Im struggling

Hes taking a wee walk, hes eating, now and again he has a wee five minutes and its like having a pup

But then hes sleeping 20 - 22 hours a day. He has his bad turns..

99% percent of the time we are here with him. We calm him, we soothe him, hes with one of us all day and Im prepared to do that every day for every minute of his life


Unless what I am doing is cruel

Im sorry that you dont understand where Im coming from


Im not looking for the pat on the shoulder, do the best, blah blah blah. Im really concerned that my love for him is over shadowing what UI need to do for him

Better_Days

I really feel for you OP. I went through this during the summer with my much loved 15 year old dog. She had been my constant companion since I retired on ill health grounds in 2004 and I knew I would miss her dreadfully.

It all started with an upset tummy which we never got on top of. We tried all sorts of things over a period of about 6 weeks. But the upset tummy meant that it was difficult to keep her joint pain under control. It seemed so pointless for an upset tummy to be the thing we couldn't sort out for her. I desperately wanted to have one last holiday with her in July - it was to a place she loved going to and was always so excited when we got there.

I was so worried that I wouldn't know when it was the right time to let her go.

But I did know. The spark went over the weekend at the end of May. She had had enough. I rang up the vets on Monday morning, we took her for a last walk, and the very kind vet came out and put her to sleep.

We didn't get our last holiday together, but that is more than balanced out by the many good years we did have.

OP, you know Alfie best. You will know when that spark is gone and when it is time. You have given Alfie a good life and it is so so hard to let go. It is impossible to advise from the outside. I think the closer the bond, the more likely you will know when the time is right, but the more difficult it is not to be tempted to hang on for a bit longer in case the dog picks up again. I agonised over this. But I did see a clear change in my dog when it was time. She could still go for a short walk, had some appetite, etc, but she was no longer enjoying life.

We carried on treating our dog longer than some people would have, my husband said he would have given up earlier. But I knew my dog, I knew when she wanted to keep going, and then when she didn't. I don't think you are being selfish. I think you are trying very hard to make the right decision for your much loved Alfie.

Just before the vet left she said that we had given our dog a good death and that she hoped that one day someone would do the same for her. I'd advise you to plan which vet and nurse you would like present, it does make the whole thing a little easier and if you get the timing right you should hopefully have some control and not have to make a decision in a hurry.

I agree with misty blue
Trust your instincts on this rather than focusing on what Alfie can or can't do. Take care.

Katiehound

All the people posting here I guess have been there, done it and bought more than one tee shirt.

I'll tell you my story.
I had the most amazing hound and I loved her to bits, she was my most wonderful dog ever- a Blue Cross education dog, a reading therapy dog and a PAT dog - so she was well known and loved in the local community. (The original Katie - hound)

She was only 9 and got a fatal tumour which I swear you could see growing day by day it was so aggressive. In all other respects she looked fit and well . The last day (I had made my decision) she was running in the field with her doggy friends and I said to the owners "say goodbye to her now"
One remarked that she looked so well that I should keep her going and my reply was "For me or for her? No, do you really think I want her to choke to death?" The tumour was on her neck.
I sat beside her , holding her as she fell asleep with tears pouring down my face.

I don't think that we always know when the time is right, but I think we need to stand back and try to make a decision that is best for our beloved pet and maybe not for ourselves.
Only you can do that.

bugslet

suki1964 wrote: »

What I am asking is, is it really wrong of me to keep going on


The Christmas thing.. Yes that's me being selfish as is only four years ago on boxing day we lost my dad and just six days later we lost MIL. We have enough sadness around Christmas

Unfortunately no-one can really answer that, no matter how eloquent your description is or how much your love for Alfie shines through, we can't see him and have your lifetime experience. So the answer maybe yes, it maybe no.

Mr bugs died 2 years ago this coming Saturday, but it wouldn't be a factor in my decision as what to do about this very difficult decision.

Katiehound wrote: »

She was only 9 and got a fatal tumour which I swear you could see growing day by day it was so aggressive. In all other respects she looked fit and well . The last day (I had made my decision) she was running in the field with her doggy friends and I said to the owners "say goodbye to her now"
One remarked that she looked so well that I should keep her going and my reply was "For me or for her? No, do you really think I want her to choke to death?" The tumour was on her neck.
I sat beside her , holding her as she fell asleep with tears pouring down my face.

I don't think that we always know when the time is right, but I think we need to stand back and try to make a decision that is best for our beloved pet and maybe not for ourselves.
Only you can do that.

Much the same, 9 year old Klein Spitz, fluffy of brain and body, got haemangio (sp) sarcoma and the prognosis was for him to die of internal bleeding. He was eating and walking OK, but I noticed his poo was very dark one day and decided to not hang around for the inevitable. It may have been something he'd eaten, maybe it was the start of an internal bleed. I don't know but for the sake of a few days, maybe a couple of weeks it wasn't worth the chance.

Suki, I hope it doesn't come across badly, but I totally agree with Katiehound. The fact that you are asking for opinions and thoughts means that it must be very close. There is no perfect time, you can only do what you think best.

suki1964

Thankyou everyone who have shared your own personal experiences. I thank you as I know how hard it can be to relive those times ( I can never talk about Gunnars passing without choking up )

I have the vets appointment tomorrow. I will hopefully be able to talk things through without getting too upset.

I think this is really what's holding me back. I really don't want to be the one to say enough is enough.

His legs gave way again last night as I was taking him down for his last wee for the night

I've been up most the night, sat here on the sofa and he never even knew I was in the room with him


Once again I thank you all for your posts and pm's

I don't think I will be able to return to this thread

Take care xx