The Spreadsheet Diva's MF Diary

SueP19

Morning all

If you hear about a mad woman who wielded a machete in Lincolnshire, it's me :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

OK my OH does my head in, he thinks money is elastic, as you know in the last two months I have paid for holiday, car repairs twice and bought curtains from N*xt plus much needed clothes ...............total on those £1,700 approx......................typical of OH, the last few days he has been bleating on and on and on and on about his car needing a drive belt...................this was discussed at the beginning of Jan when my car repairs came up..............result was that the drive belt would be replaced in March...................I am now, as per usual, being bullied into fixing this, he has now said that it is making a noise and it will ruin the car (he lies frequently to get his own way). I stopped short of a massive row last night because the result would be that he would round on me, accuse me of spending loads of money and demanding to know "what I had done with it" followed by lots of stamping and anger, then followed by woe is my, what's the point speech...........................advice needed because after 27 years I have finally realised that this is why I have been so broke, I plan and plan but it all goes totally out the window because of this and I am left picking up the pieces, robbing other funds to shut him up :mad::mad::mad: Not sure what he thinks we are going to spend on holiday in 6 weeks :eek::eek::eek:

DD, well she has learnt that her BF will not get a full months money at the end of March so we had a wobble/cry this morning about it (Oh that's after buying a Co*ch handbags yesterday £425 because she got paid more in severance pay) I would have said "don't do it" but have learnt to my cost she is like her father and would have bullied me into to agreeing it was a good idea :mad::mad::mad:

I am so sick of picking up the bl**dy pieces with both of them

Sorry for the :mad: this morning but this continual round of gimme gimme gimme and drama is just too much, they haven't changed at all. Years I have put up with it

Moneyfordreams

I sometimes feel like that with my girls. The dependency never seems to end does it. I can't give advice on OH. I lost the plot with mine so many times over the years that it was only when we were truly at breaking point both financially and emotionally he changed...
I don't want to put it down in words what he did.. but I did yell financial abuse many times. Nothing malicious , just desperate

He got a job (same one as now), his salary although not great is regular, he has self esteem, I take control of all the finances for the household and he sees the benefits. I do sometimes resent having to be the breadwinner, sometimes I like being in charge , but he does do 75% of the housework now and pretty much 90% of the cooking. He looks after us He's too old to retrain for a better income. I did say at the time of his debts peak, If I had to pay £100K to free him of disease I would so that's basically what we've done. I have my best friend back.

SueP19

Moneyfordreams wrote: »

I sometimes feel like that with my girls. The dependency never seems to end does it. I can't give advice on OH. I lost the plot with mine so many times over the years that it was only when we were truly at breaking point both financially and emotionally he changed...
I don't want to put it down in words what he did.. but I did yell financial abuse many times. Nothing malicious , just desperate

He got a job (same one as now), his salary although not great is regular, he has self esteem, I take control of all the finances for the household and he sees the benefits. I do sometimes resent having to be the breadwinner, sometimes I like being in charge , but he does do 75% of the housework now and pretty much 90% of the cooking. He looks after us He's too old to retrain for a better income. I did say at the time of his debts peak, If I had to pay £100K to free him of disease I would so that's basically what we've done. I have my best friend back.

Ahhh Money That's lovely

I can't complain, he works 50 hours a week on slack times and a 100 hours a week at busy times (yes 100, I did say 100) I just wish he would realise that money doesn't just magically bounce back into your bank account. Yesterday he ate 1 N*ture V*lley bar and 3 Br*nch bars!!!!! Just because I had a few.

I too shoulder all the responsibility and 99% of the time would not have it any other way but it's hard and mentally I am very run down, it's not something I can fix with a short break or even a few weeks of no drama...............this will take me about a year of no stress and drama to fix

Hugs to you and may your journey of recovery continue :beer:

Moneyfordreams

Oh god I must be hormonal to spill my guts

It must be frustrating for you. I'm sure you do things already to bring little positives in your day to day. I know I have chipped away at the little irritants, such as waste , fuel, switching things off, but at last he's got the just of it. He knows I have very little trust were money is concerned. I'm grateful that in a few months I have a win over his pocket money. I kow he spends it on us, but his frittering bugs me. But it's in that mental box put away. I love the idea of putting things in boxes at the back of your mind until you are strong enough to deal with them xx

SueP19

Moneyfordreams wrote: »

Oh god I must be hormonal to spill my guts

It must be frustrating for you. I'm sure you do things already to bring little positives in your day to day. I know I have chipped away at the little irritants, such as waste , fuel, switching things off, but at last he's got the just of it. He knows I have very little trust were money is concerned. I'm grateful that in a few months I have a win over his pocket money. I kow he spends it on us, but his frittering bugs me. But it's in that mental box put away. I love the idea of putting things in boxes at the back of your mind until you are strong enough to deal with them xx

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Spill away. I am so happy that you have a pocket money victory. My OH fritters and it's because he has been poor all his life, a treat is a magazine, a pudding, have two br*nch bars or 3 To change that outlook is so hard, the older he has got the more expensive the treats he wants but the saving is just not in him

I too have boxes, mostly for really painful things and if we are spilling....................

The reason I am so soft with DD is the fact that when I got married in 1988 OH was made redundant and out of work for 6 months, we didn't get a penny, not 1p because at the time I ran a clothes shop with my mum...............I took £40 a week for food and petrol....................I WAS NOT ALLOWED ANY MORE

The result was CCJ's, unpaid bills (all bills) including rent, eviction, bailiffs and the result was very bad pre-eclampsia in pregnancy.............I HAVE NEVER EVER FORGIVEN MY MUM OR DAD, I was 22 and it changed our lifes forever (our son died). It took us 6 years to dig ourselves out of the financial mess, not to mention we lost out on a mortgage when houses only cost £15,000.

I would rather die than have my daughter feels this way about me

apple_muncher

Hugs. Simple sending hugs. Lots of hugs. And then a few more. xxx

SueP19

apple_muncher wrote: »

Hugs. Simple sending hugs. Lots of hugs. And then a few more. xxx

Eeee I'm ok but ta for the hugs. DD having her usual daily rant because she hasn't found a job yet :mad: She admitted that to the outside world she is calm and collected, she saves the rants for me

Moneyfordreams

Your tragedy so young has shaped your lives. Your daughter is lucky to have you. And how good are you that she wants to talk to you xx

SueP19

Too good Money :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

We chat all day everyday :D I think her rant is over, I changed the subject, she hates being unoccupied, although she sat an exam this morning, she is now applying for JSA hopefully now she is doing that she will hear from one of those jobs :T

greent

Hope DD gets something soon. xx