Should I go on the coffee date?

lisa110rry

Sorry to but in, but what is PoF?

Flyonthewall

lisa110rry wrote: »

Sorry to but in, but what is PoF?

Plenty of Fish. A free dating site.

AndyBSG

Nothing wrong with him suggesting meeting for coffee so early on IMO.

I was on a dating sate for a while and found so many time wasters who basically just wanted a modern day pen pal.

lisa110rry

Thanks Fly on the wall...

mai_taylor

I met my now husband on plenty of fish so I say go for it! What have you got to lose? When I was on there I never talked much to people before meeting up as I didn't see the point, the only way you're going to know if you click with people is to go on dates. I'm quite shy but met up with a few guys and it was great fun.

duchy

Sounds straight to the point.
You like the look of each other's profiles - and rather than waste weeks chatting -before meeting and discovering there is no chemistry -meet and see how it goes. Sounds more like normal dating than internet dating (only you can decide if that's a good or bad thing for you)

Follow the usual rules you would on any first date- public place and make sure someone knows where you have gone and who you were meeting - and go see what happens. What else did you have planned for a wet Sunday morning ? You have nothing to lose .

Ozzuk

It's coffee, not marriage, go for it!

Chlorine7

I've ignored messages because all they say is Hello, Hi, your smile is so beautiful etc. They haven't made the effort so why should I? A couple of others have been slightly more engaging but I felt like saying nothing was better than I'm not interested. That felt more rude.

And as stated above somewhere some guys will take any response as interest, which I'd rather avoid.

FBaby

It depends how you look at it. If the question is whether it is worth going on the basis that that man might not be The One and if you don't think it is, it is not worth the time and effort, then maybe don't go. If however you see the whole on-line dating as something to try, see who you could meet, enjoy being out meeting new people, then why not go and see how it goes.

OH suggested we met up with a couple of days of messaging which took me by surprise and indeed made me feel cautious. I responded that I couldn't though and suggested the following week-end, which he agreed immediately and we continued to message (almost every day) and talked on the phone once. We are now happily married! When I mentioned that I thought it was odd he had been keen to meet so quickly, he said that he had a good feeling right away that we would get along and didn't see why we couldn't meet right away. He is a very social person and loves to meet new people, so I can now see that it wasn't over eagerness, just his natural open-minded and laid-back attitude.

JasX

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I agree that you should someone asap as you can spend weeks messaging someone building them up into something and then completely don't get on when you meet.

+1 the sooner you meet the guy the sooner you'll work out if there is even a remote spark between you or if you should be moving on.

I'd suggest the guy is just being efficient rather than keen as it's a waste of everyone's time messaging back and forth (possibly building an unrealistic picture of the other person in your head that does not match reality). If when you eventually meet you quickly work out it's not going to work.

By all means set some narrow rules for the first date -> I had a friend who's first coffee date she would strictly cut off after an hour and reflect at that point if a second date was worth arranging later on...