Flo's Debt Free Diary

reality_check

Sorry you aren't being kept on in your job, but I think that was good of your manager to give you those options. I know this is a debt free diary and you want to pay off your debt but I think maybe you need to put this on hold for the moment. Call everyone up, don't just start missing payments, explain the situation and see what the bare minimum is they will accept...i don't know if you can do this but worth ago, or seek advice from this board/debt charities.

With work, I know a job to you is important, but why don't you try charties? I know it is working for free, but I think maybe this would be good for you? Help you to feel worthwhile and that you are making a difference? Surely loads of places need help....places that feed the homeless/food banks etc?

If I were you I couldn't handle that amount of travelling for work, and especially the expense. Maybe take any job in your area? Places like supermarkets are hiring for Chrsitmas staff right now so this would be my first port of call. It might not be the 'dream' career you want, but a job is a job and will give you back time, which money can't buy. But I know I'm not you, so whatever works for you. Good luck xx

Florence_J

reality_check wrote: »

Sorry you aren't being kept on in your job, but I think that was good of your manager to give you those options. I know this is a debt free diary and you want to pay off your debt but I think maybe you need to put this on hold for the moment. Call everyone up, don't just start missing payments, explain the situation and see what the bare minimum is they will accept...i don't know if you can do this but worth ago, or seek advice from this board/debt charities.

With work, I know a job to you is important, but why don't you try charties? I know it is working for free, but I think maybe this would be good for you? Help you to feel worthwhile and that you are making a difference? Surely loads of places need help....places that feed the homeless/food banks etc?

If I were you I couldn't handle that amount of travelling for work, and especially the expense. Maybe take any job in your area? Places like supermarkets are hiring for Chrsitmas staff right now so this would be my first port of call. It might not be the 'dream' career you want, but a job is a job and will give you back time, which money can't buy. But I know I'm not you, so whatever works for you. Good luck xx

Thank you for your lovely response.

I told my OH's parents that my contract was ending (I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or not but I work in the same office as my OH's Dad) and they have told me not to worry, and they even offered to support me. But I will not let that happen.

I volunteer at a food bank. I have been looking at charities for jobs.

I'll admit there is a chance I may have made a mistake, but I did a benefits calculator check for the scenario of if I was to sign on when I become unemployed and apparently because I live with my OH, who has a good job I would be entitled to about a tenner a week. Boo.

I know there will be an influx of retail work soon, and I am seriously considering it, but I am anxious about customer service work due to my whole 'being afraid of conflict and people' thing. I'm not one of those people who thinks retail/customer service is beneath them, nothing like that, I mean somehow I worked in that field for 10 years. I have never been rude to a customer, even if they, maybe, would have deserved it. I am incredibly anxious round people and I'm worried my health would deteriorate.

If you look back over the last two years I have taken on jobs that I knew would be unsuitable/difficult for me due to my anxiety and I have severely struggled with all of them. One I had to leave, and then there is this one and we all know what happened in this job.

I haven't had the option of taking on a job that would be good for me. I have taken jobs I was actually dreading just because they were all that was available to me.

I don't know if this qualifies me as being disabled. It's hard enough accepting that my mental health is severe without having to accept the fact it may be a disability for me.

Florence_J

In terms of my debt, yes I still have debt, but my debt is spread across 2 0% balance cards which means my minimum payments each month amount to less than £50 a month. I pay bank charges on being in my overdraft, but my overdraft is now £80 (it was £1000 in January) and my bank charges will now only be about £7 until I pay off that £80.

I'm not saying I shouldn't try to limit my bills as much as possible, but my debt repayments that I have to pay each month amount to £57 at most. I wouldn't say my debt is the least of my worries, but when the debt repayments minimum is so low, I would rather scrimp on the food budget and still make those payments. Maybe I am too proud.

reality_check

That is ridiculous!! £10 a week!! The system is one extreme to the other, so many people have ruined it over the years! I didn't think that at all about you thinking you were better than anyone, sorry if it sounded that way, I forgot you have said loads about not dealing to well face to face/conflict, and let's face it the general public can be idiots, a lot!

What about....dog walking?! My dog walker is £10 a walk, he does 2 a day and has about 8-10 dogs per day! Or put a gumtree ad/print leaflets saying you will do ironing?! That way you are you're own boss, still earning...just a thought! My daughter done both of these and made money! The dog walking she found harder to get dogs but had 4 a day! Was only when she was off uni one summer so couldn't last forever. Then with the ironing she made her prices so cheap she got loads! Then realsied she hated ironing and made up excuses and had to return half of it - don't copy her lol She also decided to do cleaning...this is a girl who is so messy and I make her bed every morning and she is 20! Anyway she got a job for a man who wanted a one off full clean...she told him £50 thinking he would haggle, he never! I told her she wasn't to go alone, so I went with her, his house was spotless! In the end I ended up doing all the cleaning and she was hopeless, so good job it wasn't dirty, she thought it was great but I told her to get the ad down as I wasn't doing it again!

Take time to relax this weekend, have a bath, read a book, go a walk...look after yourself xx

Florence_J

Thanks RC, don't worry, what I said wasn't directed at you. I get the feeling there are people out there who feel some jobs are 'beneath them', like cleaning or customer service or something like that. I think I feel that way because of my dad. During the years when my mum had left us and my Dad went bankrupt and we lived on benefits, he was saying something about trying to find the right work. I suggested he try getting a job at B&Q because he used to run a building and decorating business and he just looked at me disdainfully and was like 'Florence, I have a bachelors of science degree' and I just thought (but would never say because we were all terrified of him) So what? What has that got to do with anything? We are living in poverty and you are too proud to work a job you feel is beneath you? Suck it up!

So I don't feel that certain jobs are beneath me, but I know now that I would severely struggle with any more customer service then the barest minimum. I know that dealing with conflict is a life skill and it will never be avoided completely, but the averages of dealing with conflict more frequently then I can manage are greatly increased the more customer service a role is for me.

I feel positive, to an extent. I am a cockroach. I have survived so much I can probably survive more.

Florence_J

In other news I may be appearing on TV.

I was filmed today (for about 20 seconds) for a BBC Wales show called X Ray, which is a consumer/magazine show and it was in relation to the food sharing/anti food waste app OLIO. The show X Ray is going to do a feature on food waste and they were making a meal with items they had collected off OLIO users, I was one of those users.

So that was interesting. It should be broadcast at 7.30pm on BBC Wales on the 23rd. If you fancy finding out what I look like have a gander.

Lumanous

Intrigued by the app - thanks for sharing, I'm going to check it out

Hope all is going well with you - just a quick stop in but hope to catch up on your diary properly soon

Florence_J

Lumanous wrote: »

Intrigued by the app - thanks for sharing, I'm going to check it out

Hope all is going well with you - just a quick stop in but hope to catch up on your diary properly soon

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It is much appreciated.

Florence_J

Hi all.

Yesterday was my last day at work. I was given a card, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates and my team went out for lunch. I really appreciated all this as my office is quite b!tchy to an extent and I know from things I have overheard that they won't go out of their way or bother to do things like that for people they don't like. So the fact that they did all that is a sign that I was at the very least liked and appreciated by my team.

So I feel on a mental high, because if 'failing' at my job resulted in that sort of reaction to me leaving then maybe...I didn't fail?

(I'm sure you're all thinking, 'Well of course, Flo!')

It has been hard at work, I'm not going to lie. I am bad at goodbye's and prefer to just sort of sneak away. More people then I would have liked found out I was leaving and naturally they were asking good nature questions like 'Where are you going on to next?' and I had to just say that I had nothing lined up. Which made for some pretty awkward moments.

But at least I am over my funk of 'I can never apply for a job again because if I get one I will just fail and make a mess of my life again'. I am still a bit wary, but I will apply for jobs, I'm not going to be an idiot about it.

It is payday today. Currently this is my last confirmed payday of the year, but who knows what the future brings. I cleared my overdraft today, it hasn't officially cleared yet, but it is gone. I opened that account as a student in 2008. It has fluctuated in size but one thing has been constant which is that I have almost exclusively been living in it in the last 9 years.

I'm not going to say I am never going to have an overdraft again, as an interest free one would have a certain use and security to it, but I am not planning on having one at any point in the near future. It took so much effort to clear this, it was kinda my obsession this year, well it's gone now.

I rounded down the H U G E debt I owe OH to a nice even crazy amount of money. He is not in a hurry for it, he is very good in that he wants me to clear my other debts first before I think about paying him back and also it is interest free. I have decided that as soon as I can I will take out a life insurance cover, maybe just a term one, for the money I owe OH so that if (god forbid) anything happens to me he will get his money back.

I also rounded down the debt on the Mr L CC so that is under £1200.

I can't make the payment yet but I am going to pay a hefty amount to my Mr T CC to bring it into a new hundred category, bringing it to under £2795.

After that payment is made my credit card debt will be £3970. It was £5996.12 at the start of the year.

Now that the overdraft is clear and my credit card debt is all at 0% and is a smooth running machine in terms of paying it back I am going to prioritise building up an emergency fund as I have £0 in savings. That's not a euphemism. I have an ISA with a 0 balance. What I am going to do is instead of rounding down my pay and bank account to my debt I will just pay it into my savings account. I paid £16.75 into it today. Every little helps.

I have gone home to my Dad and Step Mum's house for a week. My plan is to do nothing other than writing, surveys and applying for jobs. Maybe seeing a few friends and family members of course.

I currently have £119.21 in Amazon Vouchers which is the most I have ever had saved up. I am a long way towards meeting what I would need to cover Christmas presents for my family if I wanted the cost to be £0. This is why I feel like I can afford Christmas potentially.

All in all things could be worse.

I have a few expenses I will have to find funds for. Train fare to Birmingham to see Queen. And I support Bristol City Football Club and they are inexplicably through to the quarter finals of the Carabao Cup and have been drawn to play Manchester United at Home in December. When I was a child I loved Man U (although there is this saying that only people who know nothing about football support Man U which in my case at the time was very, very true!!!) so this is like a dream come true, but then we all know the mess I got into earlier this year when it was a 'dream come true' to see Queen live.

I have done something that might not be the wisest decision, but I have decided I am going to see my sister and her kids in November. She lives in Norwich which is very expensive to get to, so I am going by coach to save half the cost of the train fare (it will take 8 hours to get there though!! good thing is I like long journeys as it forces me to relax and be still) The reason why I am seeing my Dad/Step Mum this week and then travelling again to see my Sister, and therefore incurring costs when funds are limited is because I don't know what sort of job I will get next and whether I will have any time off over Christmas or in the early part of next year to see them, so I am making the most of the opportunity now.

I had this idea that if I could make it to September then I would survive the year. Now I am sort of thinking if I can survive this year then I can survive anything.

The 25th marked the 18th anniversary of my childhood friend's death from Leukaemia. That alone puts things into perspective. I have so much to be grateful for, so many reasons why I am lucky, there are so many ways in which I am blessed, if I can just be a little kinder to myself then all will be ok.

helsbell

You're sounding very positive, Flo. It's great to hear.