Flo's Debt Free Diary

Florence_J

helsbell wrote: »

You're sounding very positive, Flo. It's great to hear.

Thank you.

My life is what it is. The strange thing is the big disasters in life I have always been able to cope with. It is the little day to day things that cripple me.

Florence_J

I went to a place called Arundel with my Dad and Step Mum today. I normally love going there but today there were a few iffy and bad customer service experiences in more than one shop which left a bad feeling about the day. Also the area I'm from is ultra conservative (which is why I effectively ran away from it) and I was a bit put out to see a job advertisement in an Italian restaurant where the first things it stated were the applicants must have fluent English and the right to work in the UK. Fair enough, those things are usually a good factor in selecting applicants and a legal requirement, but did it have to be so blatant?

(I remember my first job in my home town was in a Hotel Restaurant with a lot of European staff and the main question the customers asked me was 'where are you from?' which as a rather innocent 16 year old confused me and I was like 'I've come from the kitchen....')

But thankfully there was a lovely bookshop where I saw a book about Rock and Roll Gig Posters which I knew my OH (A graphic designer on a part time basis, a lover of Rock Music and who frequently designs gig posters for a company in Cardiff) would love it. It was...£20. As it was the biggest, fattest hardback book I have ever seen and in perfect condition, I knew it was worth that price. It will be one of his Christmas presents. I know my plan was to buy everything on Amazon with survey earned Amazon vouchers but sometimes you can't put a price on gifts.

My wallet is also falling apart and I had been keeping an eye out for a new one when I saw one in an antique's shop there. It was beautiful and yellow (I love yellow and try to buy everything in yellow, how ironic that a person who is frequently depressed would love such a bold sunny colour). But it was £10, again worth it, but as I am now unemployed I can't spend when the impulse strikes me (also doing the whole 'No Spend Year' thing). A hasty text to my OH and the wallet is mine but OH is paying me back and it is one of my Xmas pressies.

I had a dream this morning which was just awful, about my mental health deteriorating and abruptly quitting my job because I couldn't cope and feeling like I had ruined my life. I woke up startled as the dream was so vivid it took me a little while to realise it was just a dream, but on reflection it is just an extreme version of the situation I am in now.

I have had real moments of happiness today. The feeling that everything I want to have in life is within my grasp. I haven't felt like that for a long time.

I usually judge how good my mental health is on how I answer the thoughts of 'Will I have children and Will I learn to drive?' Usually the answer is 'dear god no, I would never cope' but today I was thinking about both and I only saw happiness and confidence in having/doing both.

Today was a good day.

Florence_J

In today's news I wombled £123.96 off an Amazon order that was all Christmas presents (and December/January birthday presents that are included in the Christmas budget). Total cost of the order was £4.27.

The people that are covered are:

Step Mum Christmas
Step Mum December Birthday
Sister December Birthday
Mum Christmas
Mum January Birthday
Nephew 1 Christmas
Nephew 2 Christmas
Niece 1 Christmas
Niece 2 Christmas
OH Christmas

People definitely left to buy are:

Dad Christmas (Getting him a bottle of Welsh Whiskey so will look out for a deal)
OH's Mum Christmas
OH's Dad Christmas
OH's Sister Christmas
OH's Sister December Birthday
Brother 3's GF Christmas

Possible people left to buy for:

Sister 1 Christmas
Sister 2 Christmas
Brother 2 Christmas
Brother 3 Christmas

I say possible as I was talking to Brother 2 today and we are of a similar opinion that as I am currently unemployed, and his job isn't great and he may leave, that we would rather not stress ourselves out getting presents we may not be able to afford so we may forgo the whole thing.

Brother 1 does not get a present for several reasons, none of which are to do with ill feelings towards him. He is impossible to buy for as he does not want or need anything ever, he has interests but he is not active about any of them so wouldn't appreciate a related gift, he isn't passionate about anything other than Seinfeld which he already has, he lives in Vietnam and therefore sending him anything would be difficult, likewise him reciprocating to us would be just as troublesome. So we have decided to not do presents.

So if I was to buy presents for every potential candidate then I am currently about half way through my shopping.

Need to negotiate how OH is contributing to my families gifts. I go half on his sister's bday and xmas presents with him and 1/3 on the combined OH Dad and Mum gifts with OH and his sister. But OH's family consists of 3 people, whereas I have more than that in siblings alone. Also OH's parents do an unbelievable amount for us so we spend more on them then we do my parents.

I just feel a bit awkward as OH does so much for me, and unless I get a job soon I may be borrowing money off him, so do I do what may technically be fair and split the present money with him, or is that splitting hairs?

The crucial thing is the gifts to his family are from both of us, and the gifts to my family are from both of us, so the costs should be split?

But OH knows that I buy most of my gifts on Amazon using vouchers I have earned, he's never had a problem with it in the past, but technically my orders cost little in cold hard cash (just the effort put into the money making) so do I 'charge' him full 1/2 price on what the order cost, vouchers and all?

I guess I shall have to have this discussion with him.

Last year I said he could refund me a 1/3 of the total cost of my families gifts (mostly bought with vouchers) and he was fine with that. Maybe that is the way to go.

Florence_J

Time to do an updated SOA of sorts.

These will be my bills at the end of the month. Remember at this moment in time I have £0 income.

BILLS

Mr L Credit Card - £15 (that is a rounded up minimum payment)
Mr T Credit Card - £30 (that is a rounded up minimum payment)
Phone - £21.50 (Tied into contract until July 2018)
Internet - £29.99 (New contract, about 10 months left till can renew)
Gas and Electricity - £65 (Currently in Credit, out of contract, could move if better deal, but like being in credit when approaching winter)
Rent and Council Tax - £169.52 (These two bills come out of OH's account, so this is my half of the bills once I have deducted his half of all the bills I take care of)
Food - £250 (For simplicity sake I call this category 'Food' but it is really 'Home' costs. So food, drink, toiletries, medication, replacement utensils and/or tupperware's as needed, cleaning supplies, alcohol, laundry stuff between the OH and I. Basically if it is used within a home by a human then it comes under this category)
Water - £19.57 (OH pays the water bill yearly, I never have enough money to pay my share then, so I divide my half of the bill by 12 and pay him monthly)
Counselling - £60-75 per month (£15 a session, every Monday, based on how many Monday's fall between paydays, which I no longer have)
Labour Membership - £4

TOTAL = £664.58-£679.58 Per Month.

I have cleared my overdraft so I may have one final interest/charges bill to pay which will be around £7 but after that I will have no debt that is charging me interest.

Some may argue that I should get rid of the Labour membership and I did look into it, but it is not simple to leave. It is not like cancelling a direct debit you don't use, I had a look into it and leaving is basically akin to denouncing your belief in the party and switching sides. There didn't really appear to be an option for 'I just can't afford it anymore' and I think my OH would rather contribute to that bill and have me remain a member then quit (unsurprisingly he shares the same beliefs). It would also be so much simpler for me to create a reduction in the Home Expenses category to make up that shortfall.

When it comes to food we nearly always buy own brand supermarket label items. The one thing I can think of that both OH and I agree we won't swap from is Marmite, I hope you all forgive me for that

OH eats some meat, but very little of it and is happy with vegetarian products most of the time. I don't eat meat but occasionally eat fish. As we eat so little meat and fish we try to buy sustainable products when we do.

The trouble is whilst I could quite happily eat lentils and pulses most of the time, OH detests those things. So the usual tip of stretching out a bolognese or chilli or lasagne with lentils causes OH to protest. Believe me I've tried.

There's not much I can do at this moment as I am away from my home with OH, but when I get back I will devise a food plan based on a full inventory of the cupboards. I hate food waste and love cooking, so can be pretty inventive when I want to be.

I am building up my EF so that when my phone contract comes up for renewal I can buy a new phone outright and get a cheap contract. I am not fussy, I have never had anything like an IPhone, but I do feel I benefit from having a smartphone for cashback and money making/market research apps, but as long as it does the job I don't care if it is the latest model or the oldest model. There have been many a time in my life when my more style conscious friends have told me I have a 'brick' for a phone

We don't have any TV subscription's other than the WWE Network. It is £9.99 a month. OH pays it each month, and as we pay our council tax across 10 months when we have the two months 'free' when they come around I continue to pay them to OH as my half of the year's WWE Network fees and TV license fees. If the council tax bills don't cover all those fees then I add the rest.

So that's all my bills. Any suggestions much appreciated.

enthusiasticsaver

Are those bills just your half or for both of you? £250 each is horrendously expensive for food if just you even if you add toiletries, household stuff and the odd bit of alcohol in. Presumably cutting back on alcohol would bring that down depending on how much you spend.

Florence_J

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Are those bills just your half or for both of you? £250 each is horrendously expensive for food if just you even if you add toiletries, household stuff and the odd bit of alcohol in. Presumably cutting back on alcohol would bring that down depending on how much you spend.

Hello, sorry, I didn't realise I had been unclear. The costs are split between us, so food is £250 for the both of us ( £125 each), all the bills that come out of my account are split between us, so the £29.99 broadband bill is £15 and so on.

Florence_J

In terms of alcohol, we aren't big drinkers, we would typically buy a 20 pack of beer each month on average, and I love gin but a 1lt bottle of gin would last me about 6 months minimum. I'm willing to hear any suggestions

Florence_J

Hi everyone.

Not much to report. I am back at home with my OH, my time away visiting my family did me the world of good, I had such a lovely time.

Been very busy each day since my return but it seems to have resulted in little of long term benefit. I have also done something to my neck in that my neck and up to my ears seems to be really sore and stiff, not painful as such but a sense that something is 'wrong'. I'll wait to see how it pans out.

Going away this weekend (Fri - Sun) on an already paid for trip to Norwich to see my sister and niece/nephew. I am looking forward to it and I don't think it will be too expensive.

Still nothing on the job front. I feel good and feel fine and on top of my mental health, but I need money, and quickly.

I will try some agencies tomorrow.

Florence_J

Hi all,

I spent the weekend just gone in Norwich seeing my sister and nephew and niece. My niece in her delightful 8 year old way shamed me by pointing out it has been 11 months since I last saw her and she had forgotten what I looked like. So no matter what happens next I will not let the same time go past till I next see that part of my family and I will make more of an effort to find the time and money to see them.

It turned out to be a very cost effective trip as other than the 30p to use the toilet and £3.05 on a coffee (both on Friday) I didn't spend any money that weekend. On Sunday I had a terrible time getting home due to a variety of reasons, none of which were National Express's fault. In fact I would say they went above and beyond in their service, and if that is how they handle a crisis then I would happily use them again.

(In fact I just have as OH and I will travel to Birmingham via National Express when we go to see Queen in December, it was so much cheaper then the train by about 60% and the times were more convenient then Megabus)

In money disaster news my energy company have contacted me to cheerfully say my energy bill is going up from £65 ... to £97 :eek: So just 50p short of a 50% increase. OH and I are far from the most conservative of energy users, but we are also very far from being wasteful, so whilst I can admit our consumption has increased due to it being Autumn/Winter this seems a bit extreme.

Naturally I have been looking at deals and 1st Utility seem to be the best deal in that they offer a very competive price (still £80 per month though :eek:) and there is £40 cashback on TCB. I have just submitted meter readings to our energy company to see how in debt we are and then I will discuss this with OH but he trusts me.

Anyone had any experience with 1st Utility?

Still not even a sniff of a job. My confidence has taken such a dive that I am finding it hard as I look at jobs and either think 'I can't do that' because I don't have the experience or think 'I can't do that' because I am worried I wouldn't cope. I know I have to get over this, but it is hard. I am applying for jobs, I am being proactive, but I am still scared and nervous.

Time suddenly seems to be accelerating and this is going to sound unbelievable but I seem to be getting less done each day despite being unemployed. And sure, I'm on MSE now, but there are days when I'm not on it at all. And I am getting up at the same time that OH does.

I think I feel the pressure to have a tidy house for OH so he doesn't think I have been sitting on my bum all day, but then that leaves me less time for the important things like job hunting....hmmm.

Well, I will just have to structure my day better.

Florence_J

Not going to switch to first utility, just read the reviews and feedback on the energy section of this site. Will look again.