Not sure if this is the right forum or not..

paddy's_mum

Mojisola wrote: »

they will still get their inheritance.

In my view, it is this fear that most often prompts raging accusations of "gold-digger" and all the hateful conflict that occurs too often when an older couple get married.

Greed and an overbearing sense of entitlement can blind the heirs to the affection, kindness and support that their parent so wants to have in their life.

Perhaps if it is put to the heirs that she is being offered something that cannot possibly come to them (ie the widow's pension) a great deal of trouble and conflict may be avoided.

It shouldn't be like that but people being people, it too often is.

OP - I do hope that you will let us know how things turn out.

thorsoak

Thanks for all the responses - I will let you know what happens!

tea_lover

Just to be clear - there is no legal definition of next of kin in this country (apart from in certain conditions relating to the Mental Health Act IIRC). In terms of medical treatment the patient should be asked to advise who they would like to be notified/kept informed etc. The easiest way to do this is to carry a card with your wishes on and make sure your GP records are up to date.

jackyann

I just wanted to add to this thread, in view of something that has recently happened to an old friend.
I won't post too much detail as I don't have her permission. However, because she was so anxious not to be seen as a "gold digger" she has ended up, after her partner's death without enough money to live on. She has a life interest in a house which is too big, too expensive to run and too remote. However, if it is sold, her share will not be enough to purchase even a small property anywhere near friends or family.
I know this was not what her partner intended, because of what he said on many occasions, but poor advice & naivety has left her (and her partners' children) in an awkward situation.
So I hope that however it gets sorted, your friends end up with the desired outcome.

bouicca21

I have a spate of friends getting married after years together because of pension rights. Hasn't made a scrap of difference.

I have also known a couple of cases where getting married has presaged a split. These couples were much younger and were heading for disaster anyway - they somehow thought being married would repair things.

So I reckon they should marry - but spot on about the need to do a fresh will.

Mojisola

jackyann wrote: »

She has a life interest in a house which is too big, too expensive to run and too remote. However, if it is sold, her share will not be enough to purchase even a small property anywhere near friends or family.

This was very poor planning. Usually when someone is left a life interest in a property, they also have the right to downsize and maintain the life interest in the new place.

jackyann

Indeed Mojisola. Shame of it is that I knew what her partner's intentions were, but I didn't realise the detail.
Not sure at what point I would have said anything though - one hates seeming nosy or "know-all". Sometimes in the past I have said something I thought might be helpful - only to find both that the friendship cools, and they haven't taken any notice anyway! So I've lost on both counts!