Not sure if this is the right forum or not..

Counting_Pennies_2

It might be worth checking that there is an agreement in his will that enables her to stay on in the house until she dies.

Counting_Pennies_2

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

It might be worth checking that there is an agreement in his will that enables her to stay on in the house until she dies.

Sorry just reread and seen she lives separately.


Maybe she likes not being attached to someone. I can see it would look like a fiddle to marry now


They probably need to sit down with someone and go through it all.

Counting_Pennies_2

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

It might be worth checking that there is an agreement in his will that enables her to stay on in the house until she dies.

Sorry just reread and seen she lives separately.


Maybe she likes not being attached to someone. I can see to some it would look like a fiddle to marry now


They probably need to sit down with someone and go through it all.

jackyann

The only advice I would give them is to agree to set a deadline in a short while (say a week)
During that time:
not to discuss with each other, neither to make any attempts to "persuade"
spend time carefully considering the other point of view (including the issues raised above)
then make a decision

thorsoak

Thanks for all the comments - the one about not being next of kin is one I hadn't thought about - will put that to them, and I shall tell them that whatever they decide, they will always have my support x I don't really know their respective families so although I think they are happy with things as they are, I don't know how they really rock n'roll - if you know what I mean!

pollypenny

He must remember to write a new will if they do marry, which sounds like a very good idea.

whitewing

Surely she'd be marrying him because he asked her to!

I am pro-marriage so I think it would be great.

Besides they could probably get it annulled if they don't have sex, if they regret marrying.

pickledonionspaceraider

This is one of those where there is no right or wrong answer - it is a situation that only the two involved can deal with

I do see her point though to some extent, as by the sounds of it, they wouldn't be marrying unless he was dying.

Very sad situation for all concerned

Mojisola

thorsoak wrote: »

Mr X argues that as his house is split between his step children and his birth children he cannot leave much to Mrs Y, but if she marries him, she will be entitled to a spouse pension

pollypenny wrote: »

He must remember to write a new will if they do marry, which sounds like a very good idea.

This is really important as a marriage will make his current will invalid.

If they do tell his family that they are thinking of marrying, it would be worth also telling them that they will still get their inheritance.

trolleyrun

As already suggested, they can get married without telling anyone. Go to registry office, grab a couple of witnesses off the street and hey presto. They continue to live their lives as they currently are, but Ms X will be next of kin to Mr X which is more important than the pension by the sounds of it. If Ms X is worried about what other people will say then she doesn't have to divulge to anyone that she's getting Mr X's pension.

Some friends of mine were together for 15 years and married 2 days before he died of cancer. He managed to hold on for 36 hours to make sure she got his pension and "death in service" payment as he was still employed. She wasn't bothered about the money, but he wanted to make sure she wouldn't go without.