Work Stress

FBaby

Lulu, you are suffering from the symptom of being too efficient and dedicated, and it is such a treasure for your manager and company that they take it for granted. It is easy to do when the person is not making a big fuss and assuming they are just super human, rather than crumbling under the pressure but ensuring they are keeping a smile on their face.

Are you do some time off at Christmas? If so, I would take the time off, totally forget about work so you can enjoy the time, and then plan how you are going to approach your manager in the new year in a calm and productive way to explain that you can't go on until you are off as it is. Make it very clear that if you have come across as coping with it all, it is actually because you are taking it all on yourself, and he doesn't seen how it is affecting you out of work.

Do it after you had some time off though as you will better able to communicate with your head rather than letting the emotions take over. Once you've said what you had to say, be persistent, in a very polite and pleasant way, to ask for progress as to what they are doing to make your working life bearable.

VfM4meplse

FBaby wrote: »

Do it after you had some time off though as you will better able to communicate with your head rather than letting the emotions take over. Once you've said what you had to say, be persistent, in a very polite and pleasant way, to ask for progress as to what they are doing to make your working life bearable.

Excellent advice.

I do think your colleague is being particularly selfish given your condition. Part of management's strategy should be to motivate her sufficiently to pull her weight - it shouldn't be your problem, its their's.

belfastgirl23

I will put it another way, which is possibly a bit harsh. But you have a victim complex. You complain bitterly about a situation that's largely your own making, yet you keep taking things on. By and large, no one gives a fiddle about who does something as long as it's done. And no one will take a blind bit of notice of your complaining about you having to do it. Which means that you need to stop doing it. Then they will care.

You need to be really clear what parts of the work are yours and what parts aren't yours. I'd suggest being clear in writing, possibly on the advice of your doctor if you can get him/her to suggest that you need to take things easier (not a hard job when you're pregnant with twins I suspect). And the parts that aren't yours, stop doing them. Stop caring about them.

I know this is a bit harsh because you are obviously a hard worker and you really care about what you do. But you need to step back and take some responsibility for the situation too. The good thing about acknowledging your role in it is that you can also see that you have the power to change things. And this is a good time to do it.

Good luck!

sweetilemon

Oh Lulu, sounds like an awful situation. I totally understand how you feel, i've been in that situation and gradually small things changed that made the job more manageable but it took a lot of time, stress and unpaid hours. I would give you the same advice my colleague gave me - if your stressed, go off with stress, it's not worth risking babies health over because no-one will thank you in the end. It's true. I was very stressed at work prior to my pregnancy to the point I was breaking down in tears during the working day. Fortunately after a holiday and announcing my pregnancy things have been easier but I vowed to myself if I got myself in that state again I'd go off with stress. I never go off ill and like you worry about cover but your babies are the most important thing just now and if your stressed, it can affect them.

It is not good your work have not done a risk assessment as this is a legal requirement. Do they do a back to work interview? You could maybe discuss workload as a condition of hour return? Also make sure you mention your stress at the next midwife appointment.

Loz01

What a frustrating and wearing situation. Don't put everything into work, thats all I can say. In the past I have gone above and beyond for employers, stayed late/done extra stuff (unpaid) and I have taken work stress home with me/cried to OH about it etc, and looking back... I don't know why I did it!! When you're in the situation it seems so important and work is, BUT jobs come and go and your health should be number one. Especially as you are pregnant with not one but two!! I would go docs and ask for a week off sick and explain the stressful situation you are under at work. As someone else said, in the end no one will thank you, sadly in many companies you are just a body to fill a job role!

onlyroz

Surely you'd be the best person to train this new person? How about telling the boss that you're going to set aside a day to train her up. If they complain then ask when they are going to get round to training her. And don't wear yourself out. Get as much work done in the time allotted and then leave. If the work isn't finished, and they're not going to give you extra support, then it really isn't your problem.

hieveryone

I was in a similar situation and to an extent almost agree with what belfastgirl has written - I was too 'controlling' about things and had everything done a certain way that actually, no one else was able to help me as it 'only me' that could do the job - of course that changed when I became pregnant. But by then it was too late and everyone expected me just to carry on as usual (which, due to elements of my job was totally impossible).

In the end I was off sick for quite a long time. It occurred to me that whilst I was at work, no one gave a fiddle about who did the jobs, but also occurred to me that no one would give a fiddle if I worked myself into the ground and ended up doing myself a damage through stress etc. Would they come to my house and help me with a preemie baby? Would they visit me in hospital if I was so stressed out etc? No!!

So I decided to look after me and baby and remove myself from the situation, and I'm SO glad I did. Think about it x

VfM4meplse

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I will put it another way, which is possibly a bit harsh.

I don't disagree in principle, I just think tough love has no place for the OP as she is carrying twins. The welfare of the foetus' must come first now.

It's only really become an issue now she is expecting, isn't it? I doubt she would be complaining otherwise.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

Lulu, you are suffering from the symptom of being too efficient and dedicated, and it is such a treasure for your manager and company that they take it for granted. It is easy to do when the person is not making a big fuss and assuming they are just super human, rather than crumbling under the pressure but ensuring they are keeping a smile on their face.

I agree 100% with the above.

Nothing will change unless you instigate a change.
Management have no issues with the status quo. The work is being done.
The fact that you are sinking under the workload is irrelevant to them (it shouldn't be but it clearly is).

Do bring this up with your manager and involve HR if necessary.

I speak as someone who was in exactly the same situation many years ago.

princeofpounds

I've had regular meeting to say I need to do X, Y and Z but I only have so many hours in the day, which do you want me to prioritise?

This is actually a better first step than going off sick (unless you really do feel the need to do that).


You make it very clear that any overflow is now the responsibility of the manager. You can also be confident that you have communicated the problem and you get the most valuable work done.


If they don't have to make choices, they won't.


I'd follow up any conversation in writing/email and keep a copy, so that if anyone complains you can point to it.