3 year old boy (37months)

Loulou2010

My DS2 is due to start nursery after Christmas and I am really nervous to how he going to cope I am not sure (in some areas) he is up to where he should be developmentally. His speech isn't the same as his playgroup friends.They are all girls though. I cant remember how much my DS1 spoke at this age In some ways he seems to talk well and in others not. He asks things such as "what are you doing mummy?", "why did you do that for?" and the other day he asked to watch Nemo. As it was near school run time i said we didnt have time and he responded with "i watch it with *ds1* after school. I have popcorn and chocolate". He absolutely adores Thomas and friends and chats nonstop about that while playing. Things like Gordon saying "oh the indignity!" and "bust my buffers" as well acting bits he know from the programmes/films. Him and his brother will sit for ages playing with trains. He will follow the led from big brother.

I guess my concern is he doesn't really hold conversations with you. You start and he repeats back what you said probably about 80% of the time. Often does answer once he has repeated it. Almost as if he is processing what you are saying. Sometimes he will answer that question without repeating. We talk all the time. Especially when out and about. He's been fascinated by leaves falling off the trees and changing colour etc. He loves wheels so often points out different looking wheels and will kneel to have a good look at them :rotfl: If you were to ask what he has been doing then you are unlikely to get an answer. If he goes out for the day without me (very rare!) then he wont be able to tell me anything he see/did.

He also won't attempt to take his own shoes off/ put them on. He will take his coat off but wont put it on. Once it is on will will attempt to do the zip (unsuccessfully so far). He wont attempt to put tops/t shirts himself or remove them. We've made progress with trousers. He will pull them down and starting to pull them up.

He's been toilet trained for just over a year but will still have the odd accident. Its more when he is at home and engrossed in something. He also tends to leave it til he cant hold it anymore and then has to go there and then. He is good asking me for the toilet and just taking himself at home. If we are out and about we tend to ask every now and then if he needs to go or take him if we are passing a toilet. I cant imagine him asking to go at nursery at all

My biggest concern is he is very much a mummies boy. We have been going to playgroups since he was a baby but I am always there. Havent had playgroup since just before the summer as it stopped He does go to another one but being a friday afternoon, it is very quiet and mainly babies. He is very comfortable there and is happy for me to go to the toilet and be out of sight etc. Other than that he is clingy to me aorund people he doesnt know. Will sometimes cry if a stranger talks to him He is going to have a massive shock me leaving him at nursery. It is part of his brothers school and he has seen it. We've talked about him going and I will collect him later like i do with DS1 but not sure how much he really understands.

I could carry on with things I am worried about but they are the main things He is a clever boy in the sense he recognises his numbers 1-10, colours, shapes etc but that isnt much help if he hasnt mastered the basics.

Does he sound about right or behind? I have been a nurserynurse for 10 years before having DS1 so know that children do settle eventually but its so different as a parent going though it I know a lot of my worries will disappear once he is settled. He will catch up with his peers and start being more independant because he has to and we aren't there for him.

HelenKA_2

Did he have his 27 month check?
Perhaps you could contact your Health Visiting Team to ask their help?

pigpen

Sounds fine to me.. most children start nursery unable to do their shoes and coats they soon pick it up from the other children..

3 of mine had 3-4 accidents a DAY at nursery..
1 couldn't speak at all.
1 was out of nappies but refused to use a toilet so used a potty

They are all different with strengths and weaknesses..

Chill... he is just fine and his speech will come on once he is at nursery... even my grandson who was 3 in June has very unclear speech but has come on really well at nursery since he started in September.

Loulou2010

thanks both of you. he had a check with HV when he turned two and all was fine. Not much chance of seeing a HV round here these days other than for those checks.

I'm sure he will be fine. Me however... :rotfl:

ETA: pigpen until just before the summer he refused the toilet and wanted the potty. Even when we cracked the toilet, he still wanted potty for No 2's. now refuses the potty full stop. Nursery are strict with toileting saying that if they aren't toilet trained by the time they start then they will arrange another start date when they are trained :eek:

onlyroz

Sounds like nursery will be the best thing for him. Really, he'll be fine. But if you do get a bit upset at leaving him, don't let him see.

Loulou2010

He is certainly ready for it. He wants the interaction with other children once he gets over the shyness and becomes more familiar with them.

pigpen

Loulou2010 wrote: »

thanks both of you. he had a check with HV when he turned two and all was fine. Not much chance of seeing a HV round here these days other than for those checks.

I'm sure he will be fine. Me however... :rotfl:

ETA: pigpen until just before the summer he refused the toilet and wanted the potty. Even when we cracked the toilet, he still wanted potty for No 2's. now refuses the potty full stop. Nursery are strict with toileting saying that if they aren't toilet trained by the time they start then they will arrange another start date when they are trained :eek:

Legally they cannot do that.. they would be discriminating against a child.

I was not aware of this when my son was having difficulties training.. being non-verbal makes it very difficult to communicate when you need the loo, he also had recurrent infections resulting in circumcision.. twice.. once at almost 3 and again at 3.5.. I was still not aware of it when my youngest son started nursery.. he had had surgery for undescended testes which can cause damage to the bladder nerves making training difficult this of course was what had happened to him.. after several weeks of several change of clothes.. only ever wet.. the nursery teacher said he would have to leave .. so I did some reading and hammered her with the legalities.. it didn't make me popular

emsywoo123

pigpen wrote: »

Legally they cannot do that.. they would be discriminating against a child.

This is not completely true; it depends on the nature of the setting. If private, they can set whatever rules they like

Loulou2010

Thanks. I think they are just trying to discourage people from relying on the nursery to toilet train (unfortunately a lot of parents like that in this area). If they are genuine reasons for not being toilet trained (as i know in one case of a little boy there) they will accommodate that.

ilikewatch

pigpen wrote: »

Legally they cannot do that.. they would be discriminating against a child.

Surely it would only be illegal to discriminate against a protected characteristic such as disability, race etc.?

pigpen

emsywoo123 wrote: »

This is not completely true; it depends on the nature of the setting. If private, they can set whatever rules they like

LA nursery/school was already specified so yes in the context of the discussion it is true.

Private nurseries and schools are a different kettle of fish entirely.. however a private nursery would take them anyway.. they have babies from a few weeks old they are used to changing nappies. They also take a role in helping toilet train so would be a better place than a LA nursery setting.