Is there anywhere I can make a plea for help

Rosemary7391

deannatrois wrote: »

Obviously going to have removal costs I need to cover, will need to buy some sort of oven (no transport so no ebay).

This is a side point, or maybe I've missed it - but why would you need to buy an oven? If it's for your own use in temporary accommodation, there are lots of more transportable alternatives. I use my slow cooker a lot; it's really versatile. I've taken to baking cakes in it recently even you can get one in Tesco for a tenner - mine lasted 5 years so not bad at all! There's something very comforting about coming back to the smell of dinner already cooked.

If you have larger things that you want rid of, you could try advertising them on free cycle. Folk will even pick up non working things for parts or to try and fix them. People do also advertise working white goods etc on there so bear it in mind when you've a permanent place.

rockyrose

Have you tried streetlife ? Its online and split into local areas. In my area people post warnings re crime/offer items for free/offer help and recommendation and advice. Have a look at the section for Gravesend. Link below and good luck with everything

https://www.streetlife.com/area/gravesend/

rockyrose

Queen of cheap and I had the same idea-I should have read the earlier post first sorry

missbiggles1

Apologies if this has already been suggested (I know the MP has) but really this seems to me to be a case that your local councillor could get involved with. Have you looked at that as an option?

Sunshinemummy

I've only read the first 2 posts, so sorry if this has been posted already.

Due to your situation and your children's complex needs, your children will be deemed as children in need (of support from children's services).

Approach your local children's services. Also many local authorities have bond schemes etc. which may help you obtain alternative accommodation.

If you are fleeing domestic abuse, there is a huge amount of support available, including relocation throughout the UK.

If you have no support were you live.... why not take this opportunity to move closer to loved ones who can help you and the children? x

Good luck for the future.

[Deleted User]

My older son has an autism specialist social worker, she referred us to every social worker group she could think of. Because my younger son was then having problems at school and in fact refusing school (all sorted now, the school has a new headmistress and she has introduced lots of supportive measures for kids with special needs). A social worker from Early Learning came round. Instead of talking about what she could do to help younger son at school, she asked what 'other' problems related to school, I said well we are going to be made homeless soon. I've tried to keep things from him but as the LL's come round and ring up, he does have an idea what is going on and is fairly stressed about it.

She then went on and on about me needing to accept that I should find private rental otherwise the council will put me in private rental anywhere in the country. But it was obvious she also didn't know what she was talking about. Because of the services my children are receiving here, and the waiting lists to access these same services in other parts of the country, I do have a way of fighting that. I can't afford to rent privately anymore, rents are way above LHA levels (and LL's who accept benefit tenants with no guarantor are an extinct species here, I've looked for three years). Discretionary Housing payments are for six months only so it would mean expense of moving, just to delay this homelessness as I have no doubt I would be doing little more than putting off homelessness for a while. Hope that makes sense, this is the short version lol.

But she just wouldn't listen and I just went downwards (depression) as she went on. Not a clever response but I couldn't stop it. I said well, if we are going to be moving to another part of the country soon, no point in you being here because no point in you doing anything about my son's schooling here.

Please leave.

Just couldn't cope with her.

So that's the only 'child' related social worker I've been referred to. As I'm not abusing them, from what my older son's social worker said, no one else social worker ish would be interested.

I have been told, once the Royal Maudsley finish their tests, they will be recommending a package of care. But that will take three months at least. I hope their recommendations will be acted upon..,but well, you know how it is, they may not be.

I did try to get traditional social worker help because of the upcoming homelessness but they weren't interested (child social work). I was given a carers assessment during which I explained the stress going on, my depression, suicide, etc but she just kept saying nothing she could do. The Royal Maudsley say they need to recommend a 'proper' care assessment, but not sure how that differs. The carers assessment was done by a charity (they are employed by Gravesham to do this service). Hoping it won't be like that. It was pretty useless.

Apologies if that's TMI. I really haven't just sat on my behind waiting for things to happen. Just that there is very little help. or maybe I'm doing it all wrong. I don't know. My tolerance is quite low now, I just hit the depths because of worry about what is going to happen.

but You are all helping. Its the lack of hope that gets to you. You are allowing me to vent and also making suggestions, that helps so much. I wish I could get this 'package of care' now.., I don't know how I will cope with Bailiffs turning up and then dealing with the Council 'gatekeeping' again. My older son is affected by ASD and anxiety quite badly. I'm trying to get his father to take him for a few days so he doesn't see me go into one if I do. I will try very hard not to, but its hard to control when things are impossible. I don't see opportunities to negotiate, I just take what people say literally, most of the time, and so far, even when I pointed out Housing Policy (as it was written) to the Housing Officer, he was having none of it so I don't know what to do if same happens again.

sniggings

email housing, for evidence, lest you can complain later and help others if they go against their own rules.

The main thing you need to do is PACK! I see you have started, you need to get to a stage where it's all in boxes,that will take a load of pressure off you,knowing you are ready to go.

The council will help, might mean waiting to the last minute, the law allows you time to collect your belongings, I think they will pay (TV shows seem to suggest they do).

Knowing you are packed and ready to walk out the door and come back in a few days to get your stuff into storage will make this all seem less scary.

[Deleted User]

It is mostly done, boy's bedrooms are clear except for beds, books packed, clothes in chest of drawers, just kitchen and one wardrobe to pack which I am doing now (and eating what's in cupboards as much as possible). I have 20 boxes packed. As we could still be here for two or three weeks, I've packed most of what I can. Kids need clothes and limited amount of stuff for entertainment. There's just bits and bobs which I'm finding difficult to sort. But having posted on here I'm doing it now.

One sideboard needs to be emptied. Some ebay selling needs to happen (camera was broken so delayed things). Bikes need sorting (if I can, chains are loose) and selling (will keep one). Tools need packing.

I really haven't been hanging around lol. I'm trying to go through a final clear out and packing session this week, put things on ebay tomorrow now camera sorted (phone tended to give things a fluorescent tinge lol.)

libf

deannatrois wrote: »

My older son is affected by ASD and anxiety quite badly. I'm trying to get his father to take him for a few days so he doesn't see me go into one if I do. I will try very hard not to, but its hard to control when things are impossible. I don't see opportunities to negotiate, I just take what people say literally, most of the time, and so far, even when I pointed out Housing Policy (as it was written) to the Housing Officer, he was having none of it so I don't know what to do if same happens again.

Father should be contributing financially. If you can't afford market rates then he should be making up the difference so that you can.

[Deleted User]

I know, but older son is now out of college so no CSA and father was very angry. CSA claim did more harm than good to be honest. Younger son's father seems to think I should be supporting him rather than the other way around, and well, the head games just aren't worth it.., and he's self employed so it would probably work out at a fiver a week.

Right now I need help more than money. Have asked but it doesn't happen and the head games start again. I don't need that right now.