Wedding risk assessment?

missbiggles1

Who is paying for the wedding?

Valli

Well, OP. I am flabbergasted. Keep a diary though - because, as Mae West reportedly said, one day it'll keep you!
This has 'soap opera' written all over it...

Tigsteroonie

Hang on, their baby is 3 months old, as in 12-13 weeks? And baby has stayed with you all weekend for the last 9-10 weeks, plus a full week while they went away on holiday?

Wow. Just, wow.

Stop being so accommodating and make them look after their own kid. Maybe when they realise what being a parent means, they'll realise what being an adult means, and start being a bit more grateful for the family they have.

scurr

The girl's dad, who she has little time for and her maternal grandfather, who despises her dad, are paying for the wedding.

This was a problem for me as the cost is £14,000 for the venue, food etc, before you even add on the twiddly bits. It made me very uncomfortable as I just can't contribute a meaningful amount. I'd more or less made my mind up to offer to pay for a honeymoon - but I haven't had a big holiday for almost 10 years and I grudge my hard earned money being sneered at as not being enough.

Mojisola

scurr wrote: »

The girl's dad, who she has little time for and her maternal grandfather, who despises her dad, are paying for the wedding.

Does this girl actually like anyone?

I would sit back and play a waiting game - either your son will see her for what she is or she will get fed up with him and move on to someone new.

Robin9

Mojisola wrote: »

Does this girl actually like anyone?

I would sit back and play a waiting game - either your son will see her for what she is or she will get fed up with him and move on to someone new.

I agree - this wedding isn't going to happen.

Unfortunately when this relationship breaks down there is a child in the middle.

Mojisola

Robin9 wrote: »

I agree - this wedding isn't going to happen.

The wedding might happen if she wants her 'day' but the marriage won't last.

scurr

Well I've just had my first Friday night without babysitting since the end of August and I didn't know what to do with myself.

My son and his fianc!e have achieved their goal, I am absolutely miserable - they knew withholding my granddaughter would break me and that they held the trump card.

I think the wedding of the century will take place - she does indeed want her day and pictures herself as part of a happy family, not as a single mum - but I agree, it won't last. But that's no comfort.

The irony is the way she bleats about how the baby has been denied the chance to know her wonderful Gran and Great Gran (both maternal side and recently deceased) but she'll keep their memory alive - but she herself is denying the baby her live and kicking Grandma and Great Granny who love her so much.

I think she possibly resents my mum for being alive when she's lost her own mum and gran, but it's hardly my mum's fault.

So all this because she just didn't want her fiance's Granny at her wedding - 20 months in the future - and she clearly expected me to just accept that.

Sorry for the longwinded post, I just can't get my head round it all, I'm not sleeping and it's all I think about.

Mojisola

scurr wrote: »

My son and his fianc!e have achieved their goal, I am absolutely miserable - they knew withholding my granddaughter would break me and that they held the trump card.

but she herself is denying the baby her live and kicking Grandma and Great Granny who love her so much.

If your son is happy that his mother and grandmother are being treated like this, there's very little you can do.

It's going to be very painful to live through but you have to step back.

hcb42

What a very sad story

Can you not speak to your son about the way you feel - on his own?