Puberty - 8 year old girl

TBagpuss

Do you know what secx education / PSE she has had at school so far? As she is so young, she is probably the first among her peers to start developing and probably hasn't had much warning.

I'd recommend getting her a couple of books about puberty and growing up - Usbourne do one called 'What's happening to me?' which has good reviews, and no doubt there are others. This gives you something you can refer to and also let her havce to read in her own time. It shouldn't be a substitute for talking to her, but might be a starting point for conversations and give her something to refer back to.

In terms of the sweating, explain that provided she washes and changes her clothes daily she won't smell.

Where do you keep your own deorderant? Is it somewhere obvious? (i.e. does she realise that you sweat and have hairy bits and use deoderant?)

One thing I would say, when you talk to her about periods - tell her that if they begin slowly the first time she may not see blood, jsut a bit of a brownish mark in her knickers. I had a friend who had no info from her family and relied on what we, her marginally better-informed friends, could tell her. She was horifed and thought she had something wrong with her as she was expecting fresh blood and didn't get it.

The other thing I would suggest is think of something positive - perhaps you could take her out to do something 'gorwn up' with just you and her so that she sees the 'growing yuup' part of this as a positive thing.

System

I was 11 when i started puberty. Periods started at 12. My friend started her periods at 10. I woke up one morning and thought i was dying.:o

The sweating and the smell.... she needs an antibacterial antiperspirant. A roll on is easier. I think Michum do one.

Lunar_Eclipse

8 is well within normal range.

Puberty is a process which typically takes years. Eldest had painful breast buds at 6, which we went to see the doctor about. She assured me this was "normal" and nothing to worry about; she says it's also common in boys. Nothing developed there for years after that!

Hair removal (under arm) started at 8/9, periods not until nearly 14. She also wore deodorant by 8; youngest had no need until she was much older (12?)

All very normal.

I think your approach is considerate and lovely, though I would be playing it all down due to its normality, and not presenting something like deodorant as a gift, but as an 'I bought you something today you might like, or to keep for when you want to start using it.'

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I'll try and reply to everyone... If I miss someone I'm sorry


@Euronorris - definitely not! I'd be mortified too if my mother had done that! She's asked me not to tell anyone - although an internet forum doesn't count right... lol


@TBagPuss - I have absolutely no idea what they have taught her in school. I did get her a book from the library which detailed what happens (in words a child would understand) and she knew this would happen, I think we both thought it would be a while yet though! I have assured her its "normal" and something that happens to everyone. Her Teacher said a few girls are going through (or appears to be) the start of puberty so I guess it's a good thing that she has her friends to do this "with"


My own deodorant is prescribed from the doctor (Had my thyroid removed a while back so I sweat more than normal) but its a roll on thing so she's seen me use it.


@Lunar Eclipse - She hasn't mentioned pains yet but I still remember mine! I'll be ready with a hot water bottle and pain killers if needed! The gift - I plan on getting her a wash bag. It coincides nicely actually as she is away with school (First trip) so she needed her own shower gel etc. I'm going to just say its for the school trip and say that I've popped some deodorant in there in case she would like to use it. So whilst it is a gift as such, it's not going to be a big presented thing (Does that make sense?)


Thank you all for the replies though, been really helpful!

GwylimT

I don't know why people are acting shocked at something normal happening at a normal age.

Just be careful if she wants to shave her armpits as it is very easy to cut yourself. If she wants to it may be easier to do it yourself on a weekend, which will last fairly well throughout the week.

The general rule is periods two years after the start of puberty, but clearly this varies greatly, so if you haven't done already show her how to use a sanitary towel, how to wrap it back up in the cover etc and make sure she has some in her school bag. Another sign is increased vaginal discharge as well.

Counting_Pennies_2

Her sex education chat about body change etc is likely to come next year in school.


I would highly recommend this book (they do one for boys too!) It is great to read through together, or if she is uncomfortable she can have it by her bed to read on her own.


My DS has one and has referred back to it regularly. He always has the books he reads in his bed and falls asleep and this book (boy version) is on his bed at least once a month.


http://www.usborne.com/catalogue/book/1~ILB~ILS~1985/what39s-happening-to-me-girls.aspx


In terms of deodorant, maybe buy one of the children's versions of roll ons and have it in reserve, then when she is watching you get dressed you can talk about why you put deodorant on, and now that she is getting to be a grown up girl she might like one of her own.


I wouldn't make a big thing about it unless she asks you about it.

pigpen

I have 8 daughters and 8 is perfectly normal in here.. all those shocked were just later.. my cousin was 16 before anything happened.. it is all fine.. the GP is not necessary.. and a waste of an appointment. Unless she has other abnormal symptoms.

Try to avoid deodourants containing aluminium as they are VERY bad causing many cancers, particularly breast cancer as the toxin gets into the tissues.. she is far too young for mitchum as was mentioned before.. that's for super stinky grown up and men

A simple body spray to perfume her may be more appropriate.. the sweat needs to come out it is when it is left to dry and breed bacteria it gets whiffy.. and hairy bits do tend to hold the bacteria.

If she wants to remove the hair maybe an electric shaver is best at this age.. though I'd discourage her from shaving as long as possible.. that is society telling us women have to be hair-free.. it is not natural! If she wants a razor you can get some with guards to minimise the risks of cuts.. and she will need showing how to use it properly.

I've played it all down with mine.. if you make a fuss you are giving the message it is something peculiar, if you ignore it you make them feel embarrassed.. we just talk about furry bits and stinky bits as part of conversation.. bit of toilet humour never hurt anyone! They were introduced to the joys of pads and tampons and shown where they live and told to ask if/when more were needed and which brand they prefer.. BO-dourant and face wash and the like.

The best thing is to treat it like a normal part of growing up, because it is! and redress the 'it is your body' talk and about how people, particularly boys will see her differently as she grows up and it is ok to tell them to do one. The rest will come just be open about your own body.. I assume you have one Somewhere in our talks 'grandma's pubes' came into it.. we all have them!! lol

NOTHING is TMI or sacred in my house!

LilElvis

GwylimT wrote: »

if you haven't done already show her how to use a sanitary towel, how to wrap it back up in the cover etc and make sure she has some in her school bag.

If you do this get those that come in a discreet, pretty tin so they aren't obvious. My periods started at 9 and nearly 40 years later I still remember how upset I was at being teased at the sanitary towels which were in my gym bag. Children can be pretty cruel about anything which marks you as "different", even if it is something which is totally natural and which will, eventually, happen to 50% of her peers.

euronorris

LilElvis wrote: »

If you do this get those that come in a discreet, pretty tin so they aren't obvious. My periods started at 9 and nearly 40 years later I still remember how upset I was at being teased at the sanitary towels which were in my gym bag. Children can be pretty cruel about anything which marks you as "different", even if it is something which is totally natural and which will, eventually, happen to 50% of her peers.

I was just going to suggest that.


One of my nieces was very shy about the whole thing, and dreaded having to go to school when she was 'on', but I found some of those pretty tins being given away on promotional packs of sanitary towels, got some and gave them to her and that seemed to help as they are very discreet.

Beckyy

I wouldn't be concerned about her developing at 8, I would say it was a pretty normal age IMO.

Could you get her some body spray? It might be easier/nicer than deodorant or antiperspirant for now. You could get a couple of different items and leave them in the bathroom for her to try.

Maybe a good time to just have a girly chat about the changes that are going to come and let her know where there are some sanitary products in the house and how to use them.