Overbearing MIL or am I being unreasonable

enjoythesilence

Nothing worse than a mother who thinks she should always be the most important woman in her son's life. And nothing worse than a pampered mummy's boy either!

Can't tell you the amount of eye-rolling I used to do when an ex-colleague would blather on all day about how her son's wife wasn't good enough for him and and how she's taken him away from her.

My OH is an only son but his mum definitely understands the boundaries. If she ever cried down the phone at not being able to see him on his birthday I'd hang up on her. She sounds like a manipulative emotional abuser.

justme111

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think it's about the amount of time. I can understand it rankling that a couple have agreed that they won't spend time during the day together because work was more important only for him to make time when mother cried down the phone.

I think his mother needs to grow up. Her son is an adult and celebrating his birthday the weekend before or after the actual day is a very reasonable compromise when the day falls on a weekday.

I wouldn't want to get between any of my kids and their partners - they are grown-up and leading their own lives and they should be putting their partners ahead of their parents.

But he did not give the mum the time and place equivalent to what he cancelled with wife. He still stays in the workplace.
I don't dispute that mother sounds a bit unstable to say the least. It is not op's business to deal with it though. We been talking for 8 pages and still no tangible loss from her being that way apart from dil feeling guilty because mil whinges which is in dil's hands to deal with - stop partaking

DavidF

If I was OP's oh I would be off playing golf with my mates....sorted lol. Just kidding by the way, I would hate to be the man in the middle. some people's views are very entrenched as to what is "right". There is no right way, No traditional way to my knowledge. Surely it being oh's birthday then whatever HE wants to do should be absolutely fine with his loved ones.
Some MIL's can be gems as already said -
For instance many many moons ago my father came home from an all day drinking session with his mates.....Can't remember the exact circs...but safe to say he was in the bad books with my mother lol. So anyway he arrives at the house and realises he has not got his door key...bangs on door pleading with mum "I have flowers darling please let me in" all that sort of thing but my mother was fuming and decided a bit of tough love was required so she would not let him in. He said ach well Im off round to my mothers - upon arriving at his mum's he chapped her door - she shouted down "Who's that" he said it's me your loving son....dot wont let me in because im drunk and let her down today....Her response - "Well neither am I letting you in so best you get yourself nice and cosy out there and get back to your wife/family and apologise" lol
Think he was outside in the elements until 8am from 11pm lol...and this was in Scotland...but it was summer bless him. He never did it again though....
Nope my mum and her MIL worked together like a team and my dad loved them both equally and would have done anything for either of them - Both have passed away now - but dad still going strong and still loves to tell this tale lol.

Jagraf

DavidF wrote: »

If I was OP's oh I would be off playing golf with my mates....sorted lol. Just kidding by the way, I would hate to be the man in the middle. some people's views are very entrenched as to what is "right". There is no right way, No traditional way to my knowledge. Surely it being oh's birthday then whatever HE wants to do should be absolutely fine with his loved ones.
Some MIL's can be gems as already said -
For instance many many moons ago my father came home from an all day drinking session with his mates.....Can't remember the exact circs...but safe to say he was in the bad books with my mother lol. So anyway he arrives at the house and realises he has not got his door key...bangs on door pleading with mum "I have flowers darling please let me in" all that sort of thing but my mother was fuming and decided a bit of tough love was required so she would not let him in. He said ach well Im off round to my mothers - upon arriving at his mum's he chapped her door - she shouted down "Who's that" he said it's me your loving son....dot wont let me in because im drunk and let her down today....Her response - "Well neither am I letting you in so best you get yourself nice and cosy out there and get back to your wife/family and apologise" lol
Think he was outside in the elements until 8am from 11pm lol...and this was in Scotland...but it was summer bless him. He never did it again though....
Nope my mum and her MIL worked together like a team and my dad loved them both equally and would have done anything for either of them - Both have passed away now - but dad still going strong and still loves to tell this tale lol.

What a lovely story xx:T