Quit everything , and start again over 50?

another_casualty

I think it'd be Poole , or stay in London . Can't see myself going any further tbh. I don't drive, and as I still know people In London , don't wanna go too far away. Plus I can still see myself going to a few gigs a year in London also .

dktreesea

Plenty to recommend Poole. On the sea, a quick ferry to France or the Channel Islands if you fancy a break, a whole lot cheaper than London, and direct trains only take a couple of hours.


How would you go about it work wise? Would you look for something in that neck of the woods so you had a job to go to when you got there? It's not really a work commute to London, is it?

another_casualty

dktreesea wrote: »

Plenty to recommend Poole. On the sea, a quick ferry to France or the Channel Islands if you fancy a break, a whole lot cheaper than London, and direct trains only take a couple of hours.


How would you go about it work wise? Would you look for something in that neck of the woods so you had a job to go to when you got there? It's not really a work commute to London, is it?

What I would be hoping to do, is a part time / temp job in Bournemouth . A lot going on in my head .
The plan would be : sell flat / put everything in storage/ move into b&b / join gym for approx 3 months / keep looking in Poole a few times a moth, while keeping my job . When I find the right house / flat , quit job and move .
If you spot any flaws please advise

dktreesea

another_casualty wrote: »

What I would be hoping to do, is a part time / temp job in Bournemouth . A lot going on in my head .
The plan would be : sell flat / put everything in storage/ move into b&b / join gym for approx 3 months / keep looking in Poole a few times a moth, while keeping my job . When I find the right house / flat , quit job and move .
If you spot any flaws please advise

I wouldn't stay in a B&B. Too expensive. How about selling the flat, then taking a six month lease on a one bedroom flat down in Poole, so no need for storage, just move everything into the flat and don't unpack most of it? Timing wise, maybe try to get a job in Poole/Bournemouth before you leave your other job.


You can sell your flat and exchange contracts, with a settlement in 6 or 8 weeks time, to give you time to get another job and move down south. It's much easier to buy a place once you are already living there.

another_casualty

Great advice again
Before I get another job , I need to join a gym to lose the massive amount of weight put on this year. I will have to tell the agencies my condition , but
apart from the weight and the breathlessness , I feel fine.
Don't wanna go to agencies the way I am now .speaking of work ;
My colleague is getting on my nerves today more than usual .
He always talks to me like I'm a 16 year old on my first day of work.
Trouble is ; as he has been there for a number of years , the company have their 'favourites' . He is trying to make the job bigger than what it is , and wants total control.

As mentioned before,, I'm just existing . I need to move out of that job .
Gotta keep focused for next spring ( by which time the flat should be sold)

tlc678910

Hi, good luck with making the right decision for you.
I wondered if you might think again about having a housemate.

I understand you have been put off by sharing with your brother - his living manner and failure to pay without you nagging him but family can be the hardest to live with (too close for comfort).

I just looked at the first thing that came up on easy room mate and it was a room in North London advertised at £670 per month plus bills (which they gave a guide price of £150). Over £800! That could really take the heat off you - give you breathing space to make any other decisions in your own time. It could also make you less anxious if you need to or want to change jobs.

You could look for a "housemate" not a "lodger" - someone that you could look forward to talking to in the evening and find interesting, could go for the occasional beer with. The right person could enhance your life and give you a lift, bringing new experiences and helping with the work/sleep/work vibe you're feeling.

I think the right housemate could be great for your mental health but obviously the wrong one could add to your stress. To find the right one you need to be upfront that you would need to check their finances e.g. sufficient proven income, references, credit check, and expect a direct debit so you don't need to nag. Check that your lifestyles are compatible (go for that beer) - a job (so they won't be in the house all of the time and drive you mad) to be a respectful not in your face person, ask about how often they would would want friends/partner round etc.

If you decide to rent out a room you have a valuable asset in London and you must put yourself first and say no to as many people as you like until you find the right person for you. I have shared for many years in the past and the friendships and companionship (and splitting bills of course) more than made up for the minor annoyances of people not cleaning up or buying loo roll.

Just to add it doesn't seem worth downsizing locally to me if you would still need a small mortgage as the costs of selling and buying would eat into the small benefit to you and you could be in the same position as now Without the option of renting a room out for extra income in the future.

Good luck with whatever course of action you take
Tlc

ThemeOne

All I would say is if you've always lived in the London area, you may be in for a rude awakening with the job market out of London, even in other parts of the south-east.

I've known people move out and then end up long distance commuting back in every day just because they couldn't find work where they moved to.

All depends on your field of course.

satchmo1

I've just searched Facilities jobs in Poole and there are jobs being advertised. Perhaps you need a two pronged approach... 1. Get your flat ready to sell (declutter, repaint, get Estate Agent's advice on what needs doing to make it sellable). Whether you sell or not, you've improved your living conditions. 2. Apply for jobs. Whether you apply in London or in Poole, it will show what is available. If you got a new job in London that would give you more time to make long-term plans. If you got a new job in Poole, it would jump-start your healthier life.


Don't ask your brother's advice, he is biased towards you staying in the status quo for company, plus his mental health issues probably make him see the worst outcome for any situation.


Challenge yourself to do 15 minutes exercise each day. Maybe get off one stop early on your homeward journey and walk. Maybe do some yoga/pilates at home. Maybe do a "couch to 5k" programme (free apps available, or download a programme from the internet). Go to your local free Saturday morning parkrun, where even if you walk the 5k you'll have company (there is always a tail-runner who keeps the last parkrunner company - for H&S reasons).


I hope work is supporting you in terms of your health issues. Read up on the Disability Act, because employers are legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments for disabilities, and your illness falls into that classification. I also hope your employers took into account your illness AND your recent bereavement in the disciplinary hearing?

another_casualty

Thanks for the posts above ( keep em coming ). Tbh, I can't see myself sharing my flat with someone else . I'm enjoying the peace and quiet . Plus I don't think my flat is the right design for 'proper ' housemates / lodgers.

The health comes first . I've basically had the stuffing knocked out of me this last 2 years . In my condition , I wouldn't say I'm exactly employable at the moment . If I lose weight , then yes I could go to agencies etc.
Yep , London is tops for employment and transport for most of us .
Anywhere else , I need to study the bus/ train timetables .

I've been sending my friend in Poole a couple of properties for sale in Poole and he gives me feedback as to how practical they are for me.
Another thing regarding the fitness . All I need is continuity for a few months and problem solved. (Ie) my last good job ( 9 years ago) enabled me to go to the gym every day, see trainer once a week , and run a small Postroom . Since then , I haven't had the time to go every week to the gym because of the late shift/ early shift pattern etc. it's been stop/ start and Money being thrown away on gym fees. I have been looking on eBay for a cross trainer ,( not the female type .. Or then again ).
Then this morning on the radio, I hear of Bournemouth having problems with homeless and refugees . Oh well...

another_casualty

Regarding the company stance on my health ;
I have new boss who is also personnel. She came in heavy handed and made comments about my appointments from time to time.

One day , I exploded ( all I did was shout and point my finger ).
So I've gone from 'likeable bloke, what happened ', to final written warning for 2 years.
I'm not bothered, and feel relaxed about everything .
However , I know that if I have the chance to make the next. Kills of years potentially great, I can't keep plodding like normal