Making a "fake" asylum application to secure accomodation

aaaaa11111

Hi MSEers

I appreciate that what follows my be politically incorrect, potentially offensive especially to the " taking offence on behalf of somebody else " communities.

In which case, PLEASE ignore. I have no interest in getting into petty arguments about a few loose semantics or - horror - unfashionable opinions. Just read another thread. I'll be grateful to the thicker skinned who might have some ideas or constructive opinions.

I am English. I am over 50. In real life, I am a reasonable, mannered, sociable, pleasant person, and I used to be well presented, although to be honest in this day and age I look like a bum. Professionally, I was well respected. I grew up in one area, and my whole life has revolved around it. Despite the places I have been, I am a homebird, and I return to my homeplace. It is not the same place I grew up in.

All my life, I was economically active, and socially productive. At no point did I ever claim benefits, nor did I want to. Even when I could have, I used my initiative. I earned a few quid, maybe off the record, but I did not burden the state.

I am now homeless and at rock bottom. All my options have run out.

I have slept rough. I have done stations and airports. I have slept in vans. I am currently sleeping in a house which is being renovated. I am mates with the builders. I am very grateful. This arrangement will end soon. As winter is coming, sleeping outdoors and in bangers is not ideal. Winter will not be the same. I can survive, I will survive.

I went to the council. I sat opposite a lady,who, by her accent, I took to be a recent arrival from Nigeria. She told me that the council had no reasons to help me. Forgive me for being cynical, but I would imagine that she might be able to help some folk with the council. Maybe my face did not fit. Birds of a feather stick together.

My local area. It has now so many Somalian residents I sometimes wonder whether they are actually a majority. They have all the social housing. Flats are being built today for Somalis who have not even left Somalia yet. Some nearly 90% of Somalis in the UK are either in Social Housing or private rentals paid by housing benefit. Some 70% of Somali mothers claim to be "single mothers". The "average" Somali family size is 4 children. Various Left Wing reports handwring about Somalis being forced to live in overcrowded accomodation. Somalis are Muslim. Islam does not permit sex outside marriage. Something does not add up. But it would be politically incorrect to say anymore. Claiming jobseekers allowance does not mean you do not have a job. Claiming to be "unmarried" does not mean you are unmarried. It just helps your priority for those 400K flats.

So, I don't want to be homeless this winter.

I am considering walking into a Police Station and saying I wish to claim Asylum. With the best Borat accent you have ever heard.

Homeless English are told to go away.

Homeless Asylum seekers are given accommodation immediately.

If I do this, what is the worst that could happen ?

DandelionPatrol

aaaaa11111 wrote: »

.... If I do this, what is the worst that could happen ?

You could be taken seriously and your claim could be investigated and found to be without foundation. Then you would be put on the first plane back to England. Actually, as England is so close, they might fly you out of the door without a plane.

[Deleted User]

You obviously have a fine imagination, so I am sure will have no problem coming up with a long history of torture, fear and mistreatment in the country you wish to pretend you come from. You could have problems with supporting scars. You could also have problems with the right accent (however good you are).

With luck, you could find yourself on a plane being escorted to your country of 'origin'. But I believe you need paperwork for that to happen.., maybe not. Could be quite funny if they bring in a phone translator to make sure you understand exactly why they don't believe you.

Or they could just ask you to sign every week and forget about you.

Or you could find an organisation that does support people like yourself. The real you. The council would not help you because social housing is so short, they only help the vulnerable.., people with children, mental illness etc. And there is no certainty about that. That help might mean putting a family of five in an evil smelling hostel in one room half way across the country. That's if you are lucky. Or if not vulnerable, the council will say you aren't in a priority group, and they won't help you at all. This is the situation you find yourself in.

I am trying to forget the rasicst ignorance in your thread. I shouldn't, its rather a huge effort, but I guess I'll pretend Christmas has come early and be kinder in my attitude to you than you are to the world in general. Maybe this has some bearing on where you find yourself (oops I guess some of it slipped out there).

stator

Asylum seekers may get emergency housiung, but they don't get social housing. It's temporary.

Guest101

May as well just go full out and get arrested - accommodation then at her majesty's pleasure.

Aside from homeless, but going to post on MSE rather than go to CAB etc.

There is help out there for genuine people, not just the council but from the third sector.

theartfullodger

Nice try, but a kipper wind up perhaps?

AdrianC

aaaaa11111 wrote: »

My local area. It has now so many Somalian residents I sometimes wonder whether they are actually a majority. They have all the social housing.

What is your local area?

Some 70% of Somali mothers claim to be "single mothers". The "average" Somali family size is 4 children. Somalis are Muslim. Islam does not permit sex outside marriage. Something does not add up.

This might come as a surprise to you, but when a country has been locked into a civil war for thirty years, as Somalia has, quite a lot of men die. A lot of women and children do, too, but most victims are men. Roughly half a million people have been killed in the ongoing conflict so far, and just in the last six or seven years a million and a half have been displaced from their homes and turned into refugees - in a country with a population of 10m.

TBeckett100

I feel the same when I am standing in the airport queue waiting an hour to be welcomed back to the country I pay 60k a year income tax to. The examine my passport with suspicion. I really should just replace the passport photo page with last years p60.

Whilst your post I am sure is in frustrated jest, I agree that all and sundry can come here and get it handed to them yet we don't prioritise our own. I suppose it would be racist to prioritise English people, just as racist as kids tv is with tokenism.

TBeckett100

And where the hell is Eritrea? They keep coming over yet I never hear a news article about civil war and Bob geldof doesn't sing about it

pathtofreedom

Unfortunately for single people with no children there is a big lack of accommodation. So I can't see your plan working as you'd still be single and childless so it wouldn't bump you up the housing list at all.

Are you working currently? Which area are you in? Have you tried claiming all the benefits your entitled to and looked for a shelter in your area?

http://www.crisis.org.uk/pages/what-we-do.html and shelter should be able to give you more specific advise for your area and how to help get you into a private rental.

Person_one

The truth about asylum

In case you really exist, I'm just going to leave this link here, feel free to learn something and be surprised at how mixed up you've managed to get about what asylum seekers are entitled to and why your plan wouldn't work even if you were a genuine refugee.

I presume you have a safer place to stay tonight, as you have internet access at this time of the evening? Call the Shelter helpline tomorrow on 0808 800 4444 for advice.