How open are you about your debts?

nkkingston

I feel like the shame culture around debt is like abstinence only sex ed. There's this idea if we make it shameful enough no one will do it. We simultaneously have debt/sex thrown at us in every advert, while being taught that it's a shameful thing to have. Preventative measures are treated as tantamount to admitting you do the shameful deed, and no one wants to even talk about the trouble you could get into let alone tell you how to get out of it, in case that encourages you.

Budgets: they're a lot like condoms. You can use them to prevent STDs (scary terrifying debts), and you can also use them to prevent them spreading! All it takes is a little openness and education.

(if you want to stretch the metaphor even further, I'm pretty sure mortgages = pregnancies)

twiggy86

I am completely open to my friends about my debt as it saves me having to put on a front and "keep up with the jones'". However my mum is a huge worrier so she knows I had debt but I didn't tell her the amount as knew this would make her worry.

claire1a

Only I know the true extent of my debt. I told my parents that I owed about £2000 on a CC but in fact it was triple this on different account etc. My friends and family know I am nearly out of debt (about £600 to go but taking ages to come off!) and that I have been paying it off for the last couple of years as I have had no life!

I am really good with my budget and badger on about it to anyone that will listen. Very proud of my spreadsheet haha!

I also know my parents have helped my brother out of debt before so I refuse any financial help from them. I know if it's cleared I will find it too tempting to build up again so I would rather still have the need to pay it off (IYKWIM). I do however accept the odd tank of petrol and meal out from them, which means the world to me! Cannot wait to reciprocate!

Luckily I live by myself and there is no OH! I think we all find it really hard to talk openly and honestly about debt. That's why the anonymity of this site is so successful!

Jagraf

Larac wrote: »

Have to say its only me and Stepchange who know my debt. At it worse it was eye watering £65K and now down around £30K. I will clear it in the next 2/3 years - took along while to build it up and will take along while to shift - but will get there. I can't possibly burden my children or aged Mother with this as just would worry them. I have learnt a very harsh lesson. I think there are lots with hidden debts and is subject that is taboo - busy getting this down, which how I best deal with it.

I had even more than you x

My husband and myself were the only ones who knew, until we cleared it recently. We have told my parents now, who had no idea. I also told my friend last week. I cry when I tell people. But I've learned such a huge lesson from it that I feel like a totally different person, in a positive way.