What do you do when there are trust issues?

System

The !!!!!! wouldn't be an issue for me, the other things probably would, though in this case he promised not to do those things and has continued to do so, so he's broken his promise and been untrustworthy.

Personally through past relationships if there isn't trust, it simply won't work. Unless you can overcome the trust issues they will always be there and chances are the realtionship is unlikely to survive and you're most likely going to end up miserable.

I trust OH explicitly, I have no reason not to, but if he ever have me reason to not trust him and we couldn't work through it Id be considering that he wasn't the right person for me. Life is too short to waste on people you can't trust and be happy with.

Taadaa

Do you know he was commenting on another woman's appearance or is your insecurity impeding your judgement?

What do YOU think is going on? Do you want to be in a relationship that makes you feel this way?

Some guys can make you feel like the only woman in the world, they will still make a play for anything in a skirt.

The most notable thing in your post is that you asked him to stop doing something. He promised to stop looking at !!!!!! on your laptop. Then he carried on doing it behind your back, thinking you would never know. But you are too smart for him. Smacks of dishonesty and disrespect to me.

C_Mababejive

Ditch and switch,,,simples

duchy

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

The !!!!!! wouldn't be an issue for me,

I don't think this has anything to do with !!!!!! itself - It is down to trust. The BF knew doing XX was something his GF was unhappy with him doing and made a promise not to do it again.....and has kept on doing it.

Whether it's !!!!!! , drinking or listening to One direction tracks is irrelevant. He's taking the OP for a mug - making promises he either can't or has no intention of keeping.

In the OP's shoes I'd be wondering what else he lies about.

gabriel1980

If you don't stop this paranoid stuff you're going to drive him away. It's 100% normal for guys to look at !!!!!! or check out hot women. That's human nature. As long as he's just looking, there doesn't seem to be a problem here. You need to chill out.

duchy

gabriel1980 wrote: »

If you don't stop this paranoid stuff you're going to drive him away. It's 100% normal for guys to look at !!!!!! or check out hot women. That's human nature. As long as he's just looking, there doesn't seem to be a problem here. You need to chill out.

You've missed the point -it isn't about !!!!!!- It's about promising not to use the OP's laptop to indulge in it -and doing it anyway.

My partner used to indulge - He says he doesn't anymore and I have no reason to disbelieve him - however like the OP I would be concerned if he used my laptop to do it - not for any moral reasons but because I don't want MY computer equipment full of spyware, viruses and pop ups . I work in IT I see what damage can be done to equipment (Yes I'm just waiting for the double entendres to come LOL) and I don't want it done to mine.

I'm sure the OP's boyfriend has at least a mobile or a laptop or tablet as he's a mature student so if he wants to wreck his own stuff going onto dodgy sites fair enough but she specifically asked him not to do it on HER computer - and he agreed not to - and just went on doing it anyway.

It's not about !!!!!! it's about respect.

Freeraine

After a couple of months, he advertises for 'friends with benefits'?:eek:

He has an explantion for everything, when he's found out, and makes promises that are worthless.

Then, he joins the Dance Society. I would say that the increasingly popular University Dance Societies are a very good way for a [STRIKE]dirty old[/STRIKE] thirty year old man to get up close and personal with young women students. (I bet the women have sussed him out by his heavy breathing and 'are-you- just-pleased-to-see-me?' trousers) Creepy.

Sorry, but I get the impression that he's already acting on his fantasies and that all those sweet words, presents and reassurances are to distract you from his slyness. I wouldn't trust him either.

pogofish

Yup - no trust or mutual respect - no relationship.

I think you have gone as far as you can with this one and I think you already know it.

thorsoak

gabriel1980 wrote: »

If you don't stop this paranoid stuff you're going to drive him away. It's 100% normal for guys to look at !!!!!! or check out hot women. That's human nature. As long as he's just looking, there doesn't seem to be a problem here. You need to chill out.

This is not "paranoid" stuff this is time to wave bye-bye! If at this stage of a relationship this is the way he is - what do you think he will be like in 6 months? 12 months?

You don't need to chill out - he's been caught out - now time to chuck him out.

AndyBSG

Username472 wrote: »

he was looking at some website where prostitutes advertise their "services" and people write reviews about them. When I confronted him about this, he said he wasn't looking at the site because he was trying to find a prostitutes, but he was looking at it to jack off because reading the reviews about what these women do turns him on.

Sorry but that just doesn't sound true at all.

People who use prostitute websites are by their very nature fairly discrete about it and not prone to posting in depth descriptions of what they got up to for fear of getting caught.

On the other hand, the internet is awash with free !!!!!! on other sites.

So why look on a prostitute web site which isn't designed as a !!!!!! site but is designed specifically for facilitating encounters when there are sites out there designed specifically for what he claims he was after?

He may not have actually gone through with anything but if he was looking then he was certainly considering it.

Of course, if he did go through with an encounter(working late one night, during his lunch hour, easy ways to do it without you suspecting) then lord knows what STD risks he's exposed you to like herpes, syphilis, pubic lice, etc that condoms don't protect against.

If he's like this now still early on in the relationship then what is he going to be like in a years time?

If he hasn't cheated on your or visited a prostitute then I fear it is only a matter of time because he clearly isn't happy with what he has now.