fed up of this never-ending struggle

taplady

Rain_is_Insane wrote: »

Well done for actually having the "brass ones" to face up to your debts and try and sort them out. My son is 13 and is an avid MSE'r. Like you my OH doesn't notice the difference much as he still has petrol money, dinner money etc. He doesn't smoke or drink and would rather play on his xbox than go out to the pub (thank god) This summer my DS and I have been out strawberry picking for a local farm, we take our payment in farm goods and it saves us a bit of money that way plus we get to spend the day out in the sun just talking to each other and telling jokes (although now he's a little older his jokes are getting ruder by the day!!!!) The paper round one is a good idea too, except sometimes there is a long waiting list. My son has had his name down at 4 paper shops now for about 6 months and still heard nothing . However, he does run the hoover round the house for his nan twice a week and clean her back garden of leaves and she pays him £5 a week. Is there any member of the family that would pay your daughter to do things like that for them? (of course my mum immediately goes round and does it again herself after he's gone, men were never the best at hoovering, but she understands we are struggling and has decided this is the best way to teach him value for money) We are quite lucky that our local library hires out games for the xbox, they also have the latest copies of the kids weekly magazines. Maybe you could enquire for your daughter? that way she gets to keep up on the latest fashion, pop stars etc, without you having to pay for it. Just remember that now you have started...there MUST be light at the end of the tunnel....nothing lasts forever. Good luck and keep us updated...even if you just want to rant and rave about the price of a loaf. I'm sure we'll all join in !!

your DS sounds like a wonderful young man! well done him for earning his own money, not sure many 13 year olds would do vacuuming for money!:T

SAFC73_2

Hey Mojo Jojo

Been reading your thread re struggle.

I can understand your daughter's position a bit. Wjen I was the same age, My dad was working in the construction industry which tended to be quite lean times for all Esp during the Thatcher years. Anyway my parents were always careful with money so i didn't always have the latest things as my friends did. BUT I've grown up to be a really well adjusted pserson ( I think) and I don't honestly think that my life would have been any better with material things. There's more to life than material things such as relationships as I'm sure she realise.

Lots of love

csarinaknight

I know just hw you feel, I feel the same. We are paying off a loan I took out 3 years ago, it has 2 years to run, I wonder if the end will ever come, in the mean time I fight for every penny.

We were doing really well until my SS decided to put up the rent on our house by £125 a month, we had no choice but to move and as I result I now have a £2000 overdraft to clear as well........I must admit we do not have such a large amount to repay as you you, but I get so fed up of not having any spare cash, having to watch every penny and the relentless menu planning etc, it would be great just for once to be able to say blow it we are going out for a meal.

We do manage to get away on holiday, but only because we take holidays out of season when its cheaper and I have to take as much food as I can with us. We have an allotment so grow quite a lot of our fruit and veg.....our income is fixed, we get what benefits we can, but thats not a lot.........

I know its only 24 months but just now it seems like a blooming lifetime........

mojo-jojo_2

Hi all,

thankyou for your hugs and inspiring ideas. I have had a good weekend, firstly I signed up to Quidco on Friday, and since then have managed to get 64.88 tracked (with almost half of it validated already!). One of the items I am a little concerned about though, it was to apply for an Alliance & Lester current account. I thought I'd apply and didn't think for one moment it would be accepted due to being on a DMP with CCCS (and having a few defaults in the process). I was shocked to find that it's been accepted!! It has no overdraft, but now I am worried that it will show up on my credit file that I applied for it, and being on a DMP you're not supposed to have a current account (am I right in thinking this?? not sure now). It's £50 cashback though, but apparantly that doesn't show up for a couple of months........
I am loving quidco.....we are due for our house contents renewal soon, so that will be done through them, I know it takes months to get paid, but I am looking at it as a kind of savings!!

Anyway, today we were invited to a BBQ at a friend's (the same friends that took our daughter to the Star Wars exhibition). My daughter keeps asking us to take her bowling, but finances don't allow it, our friends have a Nintendo Wii......with bowling on it! We spent a great afternoon playing bowling (almost as much fun as the real thing). Daughter was V happy (and I was too.....firstly for seeing her happy, and secondly knowing that it had cost nowt!).
I am questioning every penny that's being spent now (sometimes it's almost fun trying to find ways of cutting back). I do find myself looking at people that spend to excess, thinking how much they could save if they were less extravagant!!!! I went with my sister to look at wedding dresses for her wedding and the cost of the dresses almost made me sick!! The cost of each one could pay a debt!!!

I have also been putting all my coins in a jar (except £1 and £2), for a couple of months now, as I was having a positive weekend I counted it.......over £53!! I have some things on ebay ending midweek....up to £24.30 already! (a fortune to me!)

Just wanted to share some positive stuff!

mjjj xx

dubgirl

Hi mjjj its good to hear that you are feeling positive and back in control. Have you had a look on the old style board at the grocery challenge. It sounds like you are getting the DFW/MSE bug and getting addicted. Good luck!

scaredy_cat_2

i clicked on read your first post and wanted to add my support - you are right depression is depressing!!! and sometimes the constant struggle gets you down - i am very much feeling the same way as you at the mo

but how lovely to read all the positive messages of support and suggestions - this site really is great.

my dds are 4 and 2 and the oldest has taken to asking for things recently and now realised you have to pay for things!!! When i was growing up money wasn't free flowing and like someone else said we did lots of free things - my best memories are of family holidays that obviously didn't cost much - caravan in a field - but of playing games long into the evening all of us together and things like feeding ducks.

funny thing is before i even had my lbm dh and i wanted our children to have that kind of family experience. We do a lot of free stuff - parks, walks, feeding ducks and just playing in the garden - possibly easier when they are younger.

The other thing i do is shop at tesco and save my clubcard points. this holiday it took the family to longleat and we didn't have to pay a thing - we took picnics and had 2 days there without paying a thing. We also had a meal out in a restaurant whilst we were away with the vouchers - only paying for drinks - water all rounD!!!

It does seem never ending but think about what you have achieved so far - you sound as though you are doing brilliantly.

Keep reading the different boards - os, and the freebies and don't forget ot come on and share - it does help

thanks for your post - it came and the right time for me too!

LookingAhead

How are you doing mjjj?

mojo-jojo_2

Hi,

having many ups and downs, more downs than ups at the moment. Lots going on and I am struggling, but still going.

You said you were at your wits end, I hope you aren't feeling like that anymore, I know what it feels like. I think I am having a down day today, lots of little things going wrong aswell.......shelf in my plate cupboard collapsed, I dropped a bag of tomatoes (kindly donated from a friends garden) on the floor and most of them split!, my cat puked on my carpet (nice one thanks!), and the chicken I was going to use for tea has decided to become wonderfully 'putrid- smelling' overnight! (the last one had me sat on the kitchen floor in tears thinking 'what next?')........my daughter is at a birthday party tonight so will no doubt be coming home complaining of tummy-ache through too much pop/chocolate/jumping around.......OH JOY!!!!!

Hope people are having a good weekend :-) , posting here has made me cheer up, here's hoping Mr Camelot has my lotto numbers tonight!

mjjj xx

LookingAhead

Aww bless you mjjj. I hope that's all your bad luck out of the way. Try to think positive and that tomorrow is a bright new shiny day and things will be better.

Cats though!! Why do they do it!?

My ex boyfriend's cat used to leave the most revolting sicked up 'presents' for me in the morning after ex BF had left for work an hour before. And it always used to consist of a dead sparrow or mouse. :eek: I'm not suggesting you do this for one minute (and I do like animals really...) but I got so fed up with that bl00dy cat that I used to rub it's face in it then boot it out of the door and lock the cat flap.

And thanks for your concern - I am feeling better at the moment. Thanks for asking.

mojo-jojo_2

...the thought of some poor old moggy unceremoniously dumped outside with puke in its whiskers made me giggle!
My cats eat their food so quickly sometimes they start to retch, but I normally manage to get them outside before breakfast re-emerges!!!

More of my 'visits' have tracked in Quidco tonight so some good news there, and 2 items I listed on ebay have sold (that will pay for my anti-wrinkle face-cream........I fund my 'luxuries' purely through ebay so hubby can't moan!).

Glad you're okay, I feel bad sometimes that so many people reply to me with good wishes and support and I often don't feel 'up to' replying to all of them.

**please note.....even if I didn't manage to reply to everyone on here.....I did in my head.....(should I even be admitting that?? lol I AM having psychotherapy so does that excuse me??:rotfl: )**

mjjj xx (who has just found the colours!!!!!)