Family Fallout. Advice required

sheramber

scooby088 wrote: »

I remember a thread a few months ago along the same lines, how would the boyfriend know records had been accessed.

Tells you in the first post that Mick thought she had accessed his record becasue of something she said. Presumably something that she wouldn't have known without reading his medical records.

DUTR

Lily-Rose wrote: »

If the story in the original post is true, I don't understand why Betty's manager told Betty who had reported her. If this happened, then this is a horribly unprofessional company/establishment.

Also, (if it is true,) then the whole relationship between Betty and Fran and Fran's bloke is going to be a very fraught one!

I do actually remember something like happening in real life, (about 10 years ago.) Someone who worked at the doctors bleated and blabbed about someone she knew whose 13 year old daughter had had an abortion. Not sure of the ins and outs or how they found out it was her, but the woman at the surgery got the sack, and got into a LOT of trouble! It went to a tribunal and everything, and as I said, she got the sack and could only get minimum pay agency work after that, as no other employer would touch her.

There is an article here about some woman badly breaching confidentiality, and what happened after she did it. Apparently they have have training sessions on why you should not breach confidentiality! As if!!! What normal person needs a course to tell them this?! Anyone with a scrap of intelligence and common sense KNOWS not to blab personal details about people! In the career I was in for many years, I could have caused a storm with what I knew about people, but I never said anything to a soul: not even my husband.

http://www.firstpracticemanagement.co.uk/blog/posts/breaking-patient-confidentiality-idle-gossip-from-beyond-the-reception-desk/

Not sure why you think as if, we and people at other companies, have what may seem pointless training refreshers, however they are necessary and protect the company, employee and client.

Lily-Rose_3

DUTR wrote: »

Not sure why you think as if, we and people at other companies, have what may seem pointless training refreshers, however they are necessary and protect the company, employee and client.

Yes I do know that. I have worked in environments before where we are told NOT to divulge private and personal details of people. What I am saying is that people should not need to be told this, as it's bloomin' obvious! (To any intelligent person anyway!) And the fact they give training sessions to tell people not to blab peoples personal information is laughable; people should know that anyway!

I guess I do understand that companies may want to do it to protect themselves though. 'Welllll... we did TELL her!'

DUTR

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I agree.

I guess the over-protective mother would argue that she feels the daughter has already shown pretty poor judgement by getting pregnant with someone whose name she barely knew.

On top of that maybe Betty's clinical experience or an observation made her suspect he's a druggie or something. From his reaction, perhaps there was something he wasn't ready to share. We don't know.

There's no excuse for her action but perhaps it may be understandable.

However, I can find less excuse for his action. This is not how he should have handled it in the first instance.

This is the grandmother of his child. He will have some kind of relationship with her for decades. There are times when he will need her to be on his side.

What he should have done is go to her and say: I know this was you. I'm very disappointed, I'm angry, I feel violated. I need you to apologize so we can rebuild our relationship. I also need to know you're not ever going to do this again otherwise I will report this because it is that serious.

Instead, he moved immediately to attempt to get the mother suspended or sacked and rip the family apart. This is not a long term thinker or someone concerned for family relationships.

What the mother has done is bad enough.
But he has just doubled it and driven a wedge into this family at a time when they should all be pulling together. The pregnant girlfriend is now stressed with divided loyalties, half to a man she barely knows and who hasn't shown himself to be much of a team player.

Totally disagree, he has done nothing wrong on that count by making a complaint, he has nothing to feel guilty about.

gettingtheresometime

pollypenny wrote: »

I was about to post the same thing!


If true I wonder what caused the mother to check the BF's medical records. I'm wondering if there is something in his behaviour which has led Betty to worry about her daughter with him.

make that three!

In that case though wasn't it the daughter that was doing the posting and didn't the mum have some high flying there's only a few people in the country that does what she does job?

(must get out more!)

Would there be a trace of Mick's record being accessed and by whom it was accessed by ? Surely that would make the situation pretty cut and dried.

A case of don't do the crime if you can't take the time

Guest101

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I agree.

I guess the over-protective mother would argue that she feels the daughter has already shown pretty poor judgement by getting pregnant with someone whose name she barely knew.

On top of that maybe Betty's clinical experience or an observation made her suspect he's a druggie or something. From his reaction, perhaps there was something he wasn't ready to share. We don't know.

There's no excuse for her action but perhaps it may be understandable.

However, I can find less excuse for his action. This is not how he should have handled it in the first instance.

This is the grandmother of his child. He will have some kind of relationship with her for decades. There are times when he will need her to be on his side.

What he should have done is go to her and say: I know this was you. I'm very disappointed, I'm angry, I feel violated. I need you to apologize so we can rebuild our relationship. I also need to know you're not ever going to do this again otherwise I will report this because it is that serious.

Instead, he moved immediately to attempt to get the mother suspended or sacked and rip the family apart. This is not a long term thinker or someone concerned for family relationships.

What the mother has done is bad enough.
But he has just doubled it and driven a wedge into this family at a time when they should all be pulling together. The pregnant girlfriend is now stressed with divided loyalties, half to a man she barely knows and who hasn't shown himself to be much of a team player.

Love it, he's doubly wrong because he took action to protect himself.

Was it not for the mothers actions, this wouldn't have happened. Only 1 guilty party here.

pinkshoes

I agree with quizzical squirrel.

There are two completely separate issues here.

1. The mum should not have accessed the data, and will have to deal with the consequences.

2. The boyfriend should have discussed the matter with his girlfriend before making a complaint. Even if he still went ahead with the complaint, he should have discussed it first, letting his girlfriend know what had happened and what he wanted to do about it. It is called trust.

I would be furious with mum for being such a nosey parker, but more furious with BF for not discussing such an important matter before taking action.

DUTR

pinkshoes wrote: »

I agree with quizzical squirrel.

There are two completely separate issues here.

1. The mum should not have accessed the data, and will have to deal with the consequences.

2. The boyfriend should have discussed the matter with his girlfriend before making a complaint. Even if he still went ahead with the complaint, he should have discussed it first, letting his girlfriend know what had happened and what he wanted to do about it. It is called trust.

I would be furious with mum for being such a nosey parker, but more furious with BF for not discussing such an important matter before taking action.

I don't see why?
When someone doesn't report a wrong doing, then they too are part of that wrong doing.

Guest101

pinkshoes wrote: »

I agree with quizzical squirrel.

There are two completely separate issues here.

1. The mum should not have accessed the data, and will have to deal with the consequences.

2. The boyfriend should have discussed the matter with his girlfriend before making a complaint. Even if he still went ahead with the complaint, he should have discussed it first, letting his girlfriend know what had happened and what he wanted to do about it. It is called trust.

I would be furious with mum for being such a nosey parker, but more furious with BF for not discussing such an important matter before taking action.

So he should get the GFs permission?! Ridiculous.

Vikipollard

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I agree.

I guess the over-protective mother would argue that she feels the daughter has already shown pretty poor judgement by getting pregnant with someone whose name she barely knew.

On top of that maybe Betty's clinical experience or an observation made her suspect he's a druggie or something. From his reaction, perhaps there was something he wasn't ready to share. We don't know.

There's no excuse for her action but perhaps it may be understandable.

However, I can find less excuse for his action. This is not how he should have handled it in the first instance.

This is the grandmother of his child. He will have some kind of relationship with her for decades. There are times when he will need her to be on his side.

What he should have done is go to her and say: I know this was you. I'm very disappointed, I'm angry, I feel violated. I need you to apologize so we can rebuild our relationship. I also need to know you're not ever going to do this again otherwise I will report this because it is that serious.

Instead, he moved immediately to attempt to get the mother suspended or sacked and rip the family apart. This is not a long term thinker or someone concerned for family relationships.

What the mother has done is bad enough.
But he has just doubled it and driven a wedge into this family at a time when they should all be pulling together. The pregnant girlfriend is now stressed with divided loyalties, half to a man she barely knows and who hasn't shown himself to be much of a team player.

Except 'Betty' doesn't yet know about the baby.

We don't know what 'Betty' found - and subsequently revealed - and, let's be honest, for her to have accessed his medical records, if I was him, I'd be wondering who else she had divulged personal information about him to. He was absolutely right to put in a complaint.

If 'Betty' chooses to fall out with 'Fran' it will be because she is displacing her own guilt and responsibility for her own situation. 'Fran' needs to be quite clear with 'Betty' that accessing the records (and talking about the contents) was wrong. 'Betty' should apologise.