Mortgage free by 2021?!

hiddenshadow

Watty1 wrote: »

Hey no quitting. "Play the system". Normally I am very against this - but - you are being totally genuine. Something is wrong. So play the system ok? If that means you get signed off for a while with pay then that will be fine. If they pay private consultants to get you whizzed through the system that would be great. Whatever, you play the system so that your hard work to be financially secure does not just mean you shrug and walk away because you can. Instead you hang on in there and get things sorted out to you best benefit. (Stern talk).

Thank you so much for this, I needed to hear that. I don't like to quit, or be bad at something, or (right now) not even be able to do something at all. I also don't like to play the system, though I don't think there's a system to play right now (see below).

Unless of course it is all so dire you really cannot face it any more - in which case you need to make sure work really are aware of this and that their pressure is adding to the load you are already under.

I've tried to communicate to them just how debilitating the health issues are (e.g. not being able to groom myself some days), I still don't think they get it. I couldn't sign my name at the start (or end, frankly, but then there wasn't a choice) of the meeting yesterday, and they didn't really bat an eye at that. Have also had to ask coworkers to make me tea (couldn't lift kettle or milk, could barely lift/hold mug) and write out notes in a meeting for me (couldn't hold pen); again, no notice/reaction from management.

Moneyfordreams wrote: »

No don't quit

This is hopefully something you will recover from soon, It was only recently you were running wasn't it?

Sadly, yes! I was supposed to run a 5k race on the day I fainted, and that kicked off vertigo which turned into this mess over the last few months. Haven't run since June, I think.

I imagine (and know somewhat) it is a huge worry when we are unwell, but at least things are in process. I know these days of instant information we are used to rapid processes, but somethings still take time. Their investigations would rule out the most common and easily diagnosed, you clinical examination and symptoms would highlight areas of concern or reassurance. My own experience with neuro was all kinds of worry ( MS, epilepsy, facial neuralgia,facial numbness) turned out to be migraine with syncope... flashing lights terrify me

I'm sorry you have to deal with migraines - I had a few when I was a teenager and they were horrible.

I don't mind the need to investigate and do multiple tests, I'm quite happy to do that. I do mind the delay in actually doing them or getting information. For example, today is 5 weeks from when I had blood drawn for loads of tests and the results still aren't available to the hospital, let alone me. I don't necessarily expect any useful diagnostic information to come from bloods alone, but you'd think they'd be available to the medical staff by now. I also lucked out to be the 10% of patients not referred to specialist within the desired 10 week window (plus my GP waited a month to refer me in the first place). It seems like pulling teeth to get anything to happen, or get any info. (I don't blame any of the medical staff I've run into, who've all been very nice and as helpful as they can be, but seriously...the NHS needs more funding!)

My sister is currently worried about my nephew and is googling all kinds of diagnoses for each result that comes through. I'm telling her that the gastro consultant has been trained to make those results turn to diagnoses. She has a tendancy to over medicalise (? if a word ) and works in a pharmacy.

I hope your nephew gets well soon, or at least gets a definitive diagnosis soon.

I've avoided googling as much as possible. I am going on the assumption that it's MS because
1) it's arguably the worst diagnosis I can think of (besides cancer, which would just have me freaked out constantly at the prospect, so no sense going there), so if it turns out my guess is correct then I'm prepared and if it's something "better" then I'm pleasantly surprised (and if it's some form of cancer, maybe I get marked terminal and cash out on life insurance and become MF! and )
2) it seems like the best "fit" based on my medical history, symptoms, and familiarity with it/its symptoms through friends with MS

...until the tests happen and results (...eventually...) make their way through the medical system, I won't really know, and can't do anything about treatment wise, so I take each day as it comes.

SueP19 wrote: »

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

EatingTheElephant wrote: »

:grouphug: some dodgy hugs from me as well.

Thank you both.



So the meeting yesterday was...odd. Started off with something completely unrelated to my health, but the feedback I got was so vague that I have no idea how to respond to it. I told them as such, but who knows what will happen there. (Communication is the main reason I want to leave this role, so this shouldn't be a huge surprise.)

Medical-wise I signed off on forms for them to collect my medical records (which I still don't feel entirely comfortable doing, just on the principle of the thing, but I also have nothing to hide re: my symptoms matching up to what I'm telling them, so fine). They seem to think that the GP and/or specialist will give them a very specific guideline of "hiddenshadow would best be served working from home X days per week", and then they can act on that. I highly doubt that, based on the lack of recommendations they've given me directly, but who knows? Maybe an employer assessment sprinkles some extra magic dust on it. :rotfl: I did tell work that I have tests coming up and I likely won't have a diagnosis until January, so not to expect any quick answers now.

Otherwise, my role is essentially changing to a completely different role (that, for the record, I wouldn't have applied for, don't really have the skills for, and am not fond of doing). This is thanks to my lack of ability to predict when/how long I can work, so they can't factor in my work to the project plans, therefore I can't actually do the job they hired me for, so I'm doing another one for the next month (at least) because it can be done in a more ad-hoc way, and moves project work further towards being done rather than creating more work at the beginning of the pipeline (if I were able to do my own job role). Not pleased with that, but also not much I can do about it either (besides quit or look for new roles).

I'm still expected to either come to the office and work a full day, or be home and have a sick day. Fine, though a good portion of the conversation was finger-shaking about how absent I've been (42% apparently). So...not exactly supportive, despite them saying "oh we feel bad for you, we want to help you through this, yada yada yada". Once they get (? or build?) the "structured plan" from the GP/specialist assessments, they can then magically decide to let me work from home (I guess? not sure why they can't decide that now).

As they're a startup, I completely understand that if I'm only able to perform my job 58% of the time, that is not good for them. That being said, they seem especially oblivious to how to handle this sort of situation (which, to be fair, is the first time they've encountered it, but they've also sought out HR consultant advice, so I doubt the usefulness of that a bit based on this meeting). I suppose the good news for me is that they didn't mention any other change in circumstances (pay, etc), so other than bemoaning my frequent days that I can't make it in to work, there don't seem to be any negative consequences thus far. We'll see if that continues...

SueP19

:grouphug: another hugs because you need one and .....


:EasterBun: to make you smile

I always think there are lots worse things at sea

Like you I have had to face the prospect that I might have MS in the future, despite consultants dismissal and my work colleagues disdain, this summer, if truth be told then my gut tells me that in a few years I will develop more symptoms, so my heartfelt understanding

hiddenshadow

SueP19 wrote: »

:grouphug: another hugs because you need one and .....


:EasterBun: to make you smile

Haha, thanks, that did work! Also on the subject of chocolate, DH finished baking cookies that I made earlier in the week (I couldn't face going up/down the stairs so often to bake them), and mmm....chocolately ginger-y ness...so nice. (http://www.food.com/recipe/martha-stewart-chewy-chocolate-gingerbread-118646) I asked DH if he was going to bring any to work to share and he looked at me horrified and said "no way". :rotfl:

Like you I have had to face the prospect that I might have MS in the future, despite consultants dismissal and my work colleagues disdain, this summer, if truth be told then my gut tells me that in a few years I will develop more symptoms, so my heartfelt understanding

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear this. I find I can handle bad things quite well once I know what they are and what the plan is (if any). Not knowing, and not having any actions to take, drive me nuts. Also the spectre of future badness doesn't sit well with me either (see: plan to move to Ireland )

SueP19

I am a survivor, I think a lot of us here are and maybe that's why we are here...................we face adversity and learn to think outside the box.

You will cope and deal with it because you are strong and maybe Ireland is still meant to be.

For me it was a wake up call of gigantic proportions xx

hiddenshadow

Not much going on here lately.

Reached payout on 1poll, populus live, and prolific. Finally.

Got the quote for landscaping the garden. £1,300 for basic/boring paving slabs, £1,600 for a much nicer/more versatile space (part paving slabs, part astro turf, split level so the garden no longer slopes so much). With only £300 difference, it seems a no-brainer.

Of course that's eaten up all the extra money this month, so no room for extra OPs. Still, it'll be good to get it done, and will make the house easier to rent/sell (and keep the neighbours un-annoyed at our lack of gardening skills/attention!).

Counting the days until my medical tests happen and I can get some results. I'm improving a bit in that I can get around ok in the morning (just walked the dogs, albeit slowly), but by lunchtime I'm exhausted again. At least it's progress, sort of.

Need to compile a list of things to do in the next week before my mom comes to visit. The list is longer than the time (or, in my case, energy) we have available to do it, but she's relaxed about things like half-finished DIY projects. Would be good to get the door back on the downstairs toilet, though when MIL visited a couple of Christmases ago we had no door attached to the main bathroom. Did get us door installations as a Christmas gift from her though. :rotfl:

lippy1923

Agree with SJ. Vent all you want on here. We are all here for you.
There's not much I can say that will help, but I'm wishing you well.

hiddenshadow

Thanks lippy! I've been avoiding venting as it's the same old so don't want to feel like a broken record. Could have upped my post count with a daily recap of "on couch, legs/hands don't work, knitting progressing well" though. I'm participating in a challenge to knit a sweater in a month (Nov 1-30), so that's proving a nice distraction at least.

In non-MSE news, have blown my monthly allowance buying yarn as a pick-me-up. Probably shouldn't have, but oh well. At least it's non-perishable, so I can work with it anytime.

In MSE news, sh0pitize has turned to crap. Can't see offers on their website and the offers haven't been any good anyway. It was only £5ish a month, but annoying nonetheless.

Haven't even begun to think about Xmas gifts for people. Should probably work on that.

Also need to go to the cinema. Have 6 free cinema tickets thanks to our floyds account, plus £30+ from TCB to spend. So far we want to see Bob, Fantastic Beasts, Beauty & the Beast...not sure what else. We were going to see Ghostbusters but when we finally had time/energy free to see it it'd already left theatres.

hiddenshadow

Damn you, Murphy! :mad:

Our older dog has been off all day - not settling, anxious, etc. When he went for his evening walk his legs were very wobbly and he was super disoriented. Then he started vomiting. Took him to the vet and just got home. They're doing bloodwork to check vital organs and giving him fluids to keep him hydrated...think it's probably vestibular disease or possibly brain tumour. If it's the former he should recover on his own with the fluids, otherwise will need an MRI to test for the latter.

Cost-wise it's fine as he's insured, but I feel so bad for him. He's such a good dog, I've had him 10 years and everyone who's met him loves him (except my dad, who disdains all things with fur). At least he's happy if he's being petted (we spent an hour on the floor at the vets rubbing his belly), so he should be fine staying there.

Another dog was there with an emergency of some kind, and it didn't sound like his owner could afford the bill (£4,000?) for treatment. For a minute I was tempted to offer to pay for it, but much as I'd like to we're not quite that well-off financially yet as that would eat up most of our own emergency fund. I'd hate to be in that position, though (one reason I've always kept my pets insured). At least then you can make the decision based on medical need over expense.

debtfreeoneday

Just caught up on your posts, sorry to hear you're not well. Doesn't help, but at least you have a date for the results. If you are seeing someone for this fit note, I usually find they regurgitate, so absolutely be saying, I can do XX in the office, I can do XX at home short term pending the results of the tests, they have to make reasonable adjustments to help you.

Looking forward to hearing about the results of the yarn production!

Watty1

Just catching up with posts. How are you? How is dog? Sending hugs because you may just need them.