Mother is going to leave a 40 year marriage with nothing

comeandgo

She seems to have done very well without him for the past ten years. Good on her. Is she in a union at work? There may be free legal advise there or see if a solicitor will give a free consultation - I got one many years ago prior to my divorce.

iammumtoone

If she doesn't need to be divorced for any reason, then I would just not sign it as she doesn't agree with the terms.

I don't know the law but surely no one can be forced to sign divorce papers.

pollypenny

Over my dead body would he get away with that.

He could pay off her mortgage at the very least, but please encourage her to take legal advice.

If she's nearly 65 she might not be able to work for long and she needs to think about her pension. She will be entitled to some of his pension.

meer53

Tell her not to sign any divorce papers until she has taken legal advice. I can see why she feels as she does, i've been in her situation but my ex doesn't have anything worth me fighting for so it was an easy decision for me.

pinkshoes

Could you write a lette for her, demanding a certain amount before she will agree to divorce?

If your mum has chosen not to fight this, then you need to respect her decision. She is an adult and makes her own decisions.

LannieDuck

If he's the one who wants the divorce because he wants to remarry, then she's in a strong position.

I agree with PPs - she should either decline to sign it until he offers a more reasonable settlement, or sue for divorce in England.

lincroft1710

If the parents have lived apart for more than 5 years, the other party's consent for a divorce is not usually needed.

iammumtoone

lincroft1710 wrote: »

If the parents have lived apart for more than 5 years, the other party's consent for a divorce is not usually needed.

so what would happen with the division of assets in these cases?

Pollycat

Trek_girl wrote: »

My parents are getting divorced after being separated for about 10 years. My mother moved out from the family home about 10 years ago and got a mortgage on a modest 1 bed place (in England) and is paying it off. She still works and is coming up to 65.

My father has a new partner and a baby with her and my parents have now announced they are getting divorced, presumably so he can remarry.

20 years ago my mum and dad bought a 7 bedroom house together abroad where he still lives. He is now very respected in his career, he gets invited abroad to speak at seminars and give talks. He has a fancy car, and has a few investment properties tied up in other business ventures. He does not respect her contribution at all and is of the mind that 'I did this, this is MY money, I'm trading you in for a newer model.'

They got married after my dad finished university, and she had just trained as a nurse. For twenty years she was a housewife or working part time when we were at school and supported his career and family. He advanced in his career partly due to being a 'family man'.

The problem is the culture does not much value a woman's contribution, and unless it is hard cash other 'contributions' are not really considered.

He has asked her to sign divorce papers basically signing away all her rights to everything they have in common. She is pretty much going along with it.:mad:
She is like 'oh well, I have my 1 bed house here and that will do for me. She can't afford a lawyer abroad and I can't afford to fund it for her either.

I don't know what to do and am very angry.

Is your Mum actually on the deeds (or whatever they are called in the country where the house is?

I would seek legal advice, a friend of mine has just had a 30 minute free session with a solicitor about her divorce.
It will ptobably be more difficult as both parties aren't resident in this country but if you help your Mum to document her full situation and write some questions down, you may get some useful advice.

Not only is there the house but what about his pension(s)?
In this country your Mum would be entitled to a share of his pension pot (and he to hers).

But - if your Mum doesn't want to pursue getting any entitlement, I guess there's not a lot you can do except support & respect her decision.

lincroft1710

iammumtoone wrote: »

so what would happen with the division of assets in these cases?

That's when the lawyers start arguing.

It may be financially advantageous for the father not to get divorced.