when is it adultery

Robisere

My first partner gave me two lovely kids, then decided that was the end of anymore relations, so I know exactly what you went through. I tried and tried to make it work, but all she had ever wanted was a boy and a girl. What followed was poisoning the kids I loved against me. It took me years to trust someone else enough, but I finally found the right person.

Considering her unwillingness to have normal marital relations, surely you can cite this as unreasonable behaviour? How could she oppose this in a legal action?

Gloomendoom

DS4215 wrote: »

Your mistake was thinking that would carry on as part of the relationship after marriage.

Isn't it one of the promises that you make to each other at the wedding ceremony?

"With my body I thee worship."

Or is that just CofE weddings?

benjus

Gloomendoom wrote: »

That isn't strictly true. If the other party disagrees and refuses to sign the papers, you are stuffed.

The only ground for divorce that requires the other party's consent is living apart for more than 2 but less than 5 years.

The other grounds (adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, living apart for over 5 years) do not require their consent. If they contest the divorce then a court hearing would be required and you would need to convince the judge that the ground you are using applies (this is why it's a good idea to use the least contentious ground available). If they ignore the paperwork you can ask the court for "deemed service".

Gloomendoom

benjus wrote: »

The only ground for divorce that requires the other party's consent is living apart for more than 2 but less than 5 years.

The other grounds (adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, living apart for over 5 years) do not require their consent. If they contest the divorce then a court hearing would be required and you would need to convince the judge that the ground you are using applies (this is why it's a good idea to use the least contentious ground available). If they ignore the paperwork you can ask the court for "deemed service".

I stand corrected.

gonzo127

Robisere wrote: »

My first partner gave me two lovely kids, then decided that was the end of anymore relations, so I know exactly what you went through. I tried and tried to make it work, but all she had ever wanted was a boy and a girl. What followed was poisoning the kids I loved against me. It took me years to trust someone else enough, but I finally found the right person.

Considering her unwillingness to have normal marital relations, surely you can cite this as unreasonable behaviour? How could she oppose this in a legal action?

her position all along has been that we did have sex, ie 2-3 times a year on average over the marriage. and which she has been telling her friends is that i have left just because i wanst getting enough, whereas to her that was enough.

no amount of conversation, or even having the councilor tell her that, although that level of intimacy can work for some couples it is a unusually low level for most couples, with the UK average from the last survey, showing the average was over 3 times a month.

but hey its all water under the bridge now, i have made my choice and actually feel happier in myself than i have in a long time, not having the constant feeling of rejection, or being made to feel guilty for wanting to touch my wife, along with just sitting there in silence every evening, due to worrying that anything i said could be taken that i want more than a conversation and shot down with a rejection of some sort, from simple, i am tired gonna go to sleep shortly, to the in your face, not happening tonight, so usually ended with me finally escaping to the world of computers

now i just want to draw a line in the sand and move on, was going to talk to her last night when i dropped my daughter back, but her face was like thunder, and when i went up to talk to my step daughter (who as far as i am concerned is my daughter) she had been crying because her mum had been moaning and !!!!!ing to her new boyfriend about her, on the phone, within earshot of my step daughter. so decided last night was probably not a good time to speak to her about the divorce