Making a small claim against my ex - advice needed!

samanthabonnes

In March I used my savings to pay for both myself and my (then) boyfriend to go skiing with my family friends. The agreement was that we would both pay the money back into my savings as and when we could afford it - it wasn't a matter of urgency because we were living together and shared everything. Unfortunately while on said holiday my ex cheated on me with someone on the trip and as a result the relationship broke down. He moved out of my house and things were initially relatively amicable, I have screen shots of messages from this period stating his intention to pay me back for "his half" of skiing etc.

Things took a turn for the worse, and now my ex refuses to pay. He has lied about not having my bank details and now says that his initial offer to pay was based on goodwill - apparently I have now used up this goodwill. The holiday itself, ski hire, bar bill etc all comes to around £800. I could really do with this money back! Do I have a claim?

Please help!

gabriel1980

If you have evidence of his intention to pay you back, I would say so, but you're going to have to go to small claims court I would think or Judge Rinder.

Guest101

samanthabonnes wrote: »

In March I used my savings to pay for both myself and my (then) boyfriend to go skiing with my family friends. The agreement was that we would both pay the money back into my savings as and when we could afford it - it wasn't a matter of urgency because we were living together and shared everything. Unfortunately while on said holiday my ex cheated on me with someone on the trip and as a result the relationship broke down. He moved out of my house and things were initially relatively amicable, I have screen shots of messages from this period stating his intention to pay me back for "his half" of skiing etc.

Things took a turn for the worse, and now my ex refuses to pay. He has lied about not having my bank details and now says that his initial offer to pay was based on goodwill - apparently I have now used up this goodwill. The holiday itself, ski hire, bar bill etc all comes to around £800. I could really do with this money back! Do I have a claim?

Please help!

The key question, given your description is thus:

Have you repaid the £800 into your savings account?

If not, then there is a strong arguement to say that there really was never any intention of repaying the money. This was a 'family expense' and whilst you paid for this, he paid for many other things.

Sure you have some screenshots, but i presume you didnt have any signed paperwork at the time of booking the holiday? Again a strong arguement that he was making these promises as an attempt to reconcile, and really there was no intention of repaying the money.

I would also forget any expenses on the trip itself. No judge will sit there working out who had the soup of the day, who had the steak, or which has the lager and which the glass of wine.

Flights and accomodation is the limit (and as I mentioned, tricky)

Guest101

gabriel1980 wrote: »

If you have evidence of his intention to pay you back, I would say so, but you're going to have to go to small claims court I would think or Judge Rinder.

The OP does not strike me as a candidate for that!!

pinkshoes

All you can do is send a 'letter before action', giving him 14 days to pay you the £800 before you take it to court.

Include the wording of the text showing the evidence you will use in the letter.

I would also give your bank details in the letter so he can pay.

Send with proof of postage from two post offices.

shoe*diva79

I was in a similar position in that my ex and I agreed he would give me a certain amount of cash when we separated. I didn't have it in writing but he was giving me the cash to stop me making a beneficial interest claim on a property we lived in together. Despite it being his word against mine, I started a small claims court case and today I won it and shall be getting the money plus interest. Its been a lengthy procedure though - I put the claim in back in March.

BigAunty

You may be able to instigate Small claims court action and secure a judgement in your favour.

Do you know his current residential address and employer? Does he have any assets like a car or expensive electronics that can be sold?

However, enforcement is another matter. A high percentage of small claims court payments go unpaid because its fairly easy for the defendent to wriggle out of paying.

For example, they move addresses to avoid paying or being served notices. If the claimant catches up with them and tries to enforce it by securing an attachment of earnings through the court, they simply change employer. Any whiff of the bailiffs, and they move.

So look into plan B - enforcing it if you win, the steps and expense and whether your ex is likely to be one of those who simply flits and flies under the radar so they can't be found.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/small-claims-court

TBagpuss

yes, you have a claim, although as NigAunty says it may be hard to enforce.

What I would suggest that you do is send a formal letter before action (keeping a copy) then if he does not respond, prepare your small claim and consider sending him a copy of it, ready to issue, and telling him you will be issuing in 7 days if he hasn't paid in that time period.

I disagree with Guest 101 - whether you move money between you personal accounts is irrelevant - what is relevant is what you and he agreed, and given that he has (from what you say) acknowledged that the agreement was that he would pay you back for 50% of the cost what you have done in terms of whether your money is in your current or savings account is not relevant.

Guest101

TBagpuss wrote: »

yes, you have a claim, although as NigAunty says it may be hard to enforce.

What I would suggest that you do is send a formal letter before action (keeping a copy) then if he does not respond, prepare your small claim and consider sending him a copy of it, ready to issue, and telling him you will be issuing in 7 days if he hasn't paid in that time period.

I disagree with Guest 101 - whether you move money between you personal accounts is irrelevant - what is relevant is what you and he agreed, and given that he has (from what you say) acknowledged that the agreement was that he would pay you back for 50% of the cost what you have done in terms of whether your money is in your current or savings account is not relevant.

I think it's quite relevant for a number of reasons.

This is the agreement, according to the OP:

The agreement was that we would both pay the money back into my savings as and when we could afford it

1: No date for repayment, just when it is affordable
2: Both pay back the money - joint expense (family expense....)
3: Both to pay back into the savings account.

The defence would be:
1: the contract is not expired. If the OP hasnt been able to afford to pay back the money, then the EX is reasonable in not having done so either. It was not: Pay back £50 per month until all paid, it was until "we could afford it"
2: which leads on to: Family expense. This was just the 'final' expense, and as such the claim has little merit. The Ex paid for x, y and z in the month's leading up to the holiday.
3: And finally: The core terms of the contract have not been fulfilled, agreed to both pay back into the savings account.

samanthabonnes

Thanks for the advice. I haven't paid the money into my savings account, as I haven't been in a position to afford to do so. However, if it would be important to the case then of course I would do that. My ex didn't leave me in the best position financially - he was living in my house rent free on the understanding that things would even themselves out financially (yes, I know I was a complete mug. Look up narcissistic relationship abuse if you are interested in why I made these terrible decisions!), so he didn't ever really contribute very much. I know I voluntarily agreed to this situation, even if it was through manipulation - but I never agreed to the holiday being a gift. As such, I really do feel entitled to get that money back. When I asked for it back initially my ex claimed he had never agreed to pay me back (despite having evidence this is not the case) and claimed I refused to provide my bank details (again, I have evidence that he had them previously). This being the case, I can't imagine he will take going to court over it lightly. When I initially emailed him to ask for the money back he accused me of extortion and said he was going to take out an ASBO against me! So, in order to move forward, I think I need to be quite certain there is a case - but I'm finding it hard to get accurate advice online.

Yes, I have my exes residential address and his work address. He has a good job with a big salary, drives a fancy car and took on the rental of a swanky flat when he moved out of my house. I would be very happy to set up a repayment scheme for £100 a month or somesuch - also for myself to pay back into my savings if this would be better. Problem is my ex now refuses to accept there is a debt to be paid despite previous statements to the contrary. He was not attempting to reconcile when he said this, he was thanking me for being understanding about his situation and said "I know I still owe my half of skiing".

Does any of this change any advice?
Thanks again!

Guest101

samanthabonnes wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. I haven't paid the money into my savings account, as I haven't been in a position to afford to do so. However, if it would be important to the case then of course I would do that. My ex didn't leave me in the best position financially - he was living in my house rent free on the understanding that things would even themselves out financially (yes, I know I was a complete mug. Look up narcissistic relationship abuse if you are interested in why I made these terrible decisions!), so he didn't ever really contribute very much. I know I voluntarily agreed to this situation, even if it was through manipulation - but I never agreed to the holiday being a gift. As such, I really do feel entitled to get that money back. When I asked for it back initially my ex claimed he had never agreed to pay me back (despite having evidence this is not the case) and claimed I refused to provide my bank details (again, I have evidence that he had them previously). This being the case, I can't imagine he will take going to court over it lightly. When I initially emailed him to ask for the money back he accused me of extortion and said he was going to take out an ASBO against me! So, in order to move forward, I think I need to be quite certain there is a case - but I'm finding it hard to get accurate advice online.

Yes, I have my exes residential address and his work address. He has a good job with a big salary, drives a fancy car and took on the rental of a swanky flat when he moved out of my house. I would be very happy to set up a repayment scheme for £100 a month or somesuch - also for myself to pay back into my savings if this would be better. Problem is my ex now refuses to accept there is a debt to be paid despite previous statements to the contrary. He was not attempting to reconcile when he said this, he was thanking me for being understanding about his situation and said "I know I still owe my half of skiing".

Does any of this change any advice?
Thanks again!

If the evidence you have is 'I know I still owe half of skiing', that could be argued related solely to the cost of the actual skiing (ie equipment hire, ski pass etc).

So you need stronger evidence than that.

I think the biggest hurdle for you will be proving this wasnt a family expense.

Before issuing letters before action, I think you should offer a monthly payment plan option. He may accept this. If he does, then he acknoldges the debt.

A few texts here and there, especially just after a break up, isnt the best evidence.

You have my sympethies ofcourse. And if you can get him to accept a payment plan, do it specifically.

£20 a month: first payment, last payment, total number of payments. Include dates.