Cancer Support Thread

Gigervamp

There is a support group for partners on the Jo's Trust site, which I've told him about, but he hasn't joined it.

He's also registered with our local carer's centre, but all the things they put on for carers is during the week when he's at work.

I'll just have to hope he changes his mind about antidepressants.

FBaby

How about asking him about compromise. Telling him that it would mean so much to you if he tried some pills, so the deal is, he gives to his GP and try some, even if he is convinced it won't help just to make you happy, and you agree that he comes off them (with help of GP) if it hasn't helped him in 3 months?

Gigervamp

Yeah, that's worth a try, but don't they take a while to start working?

itsanne

Gigervamp wrote: »

He's suffered depression for about 3 years, since my diagnosis.

It's so frustrating because he'd be fine if I didn't have cancer. We were really happy before the s**t hit the fan.

FBaby wrote: »

How about asking him about compromise. Telling him that it would mean so much to you if he tried some pills, so the deal is, he gives to his GP and try some, even if he is convinced it won't help just to make you happy, and you agree that he comes off them (with help of GP) if it hasn't helped him in 3 months?

This ^^^^

Without wanting to put him under yet more pressure, perhaps you could let him know that you are made upset by how he feels too, so trying to do something about it would help you. While medication won't make him not be upset by your illness, it might take the edge off the constant stress and let him function better in the time you have left for both your sakes. It might be worth pointing out that he's got nothing to lose by giving it a try: if he's right and it doesn't help, it won't make him worse either, and if he's wrong and it does make a difference you'll both benefit.

Any medication prescribed would take a while to work, but FBaby's suggestion of three months seems a reasonable timescale to try. He would be monitored, and if there was no improvement before then a higher dose or different medication would be tried.

It's a horrible situation to be in: I wish you both well. Take care.

pickledonionspaceraider

Sorry to rebump and old thread - Just wondered how everyone was doing?

Gigervamp

Well, I'm still around.

I've been wondering how Vintage Brighton was, as when I last checked in December, she hadn't been on MSE for a couple of months, but I've just checked her profile and she was here yesterday.
Hopefully she's doing well and maybe update us.

I have a diary type of thread going, over in the Arms.

Currently, waiting to have a scan later in June to see how things are. I'm now having to take slow release morphine, with oral morphine for breakthrough pain and am back in regular contact with my palliative care team, who are great.

Husband is now on antidepressants and having counselling, so things have been a bit better here.

pickledonionspaceraider

Glad to hear from you Gigervamp and pleased to see you have support around you and for your husband too. I will check out your diary on the arms

vintagebrighton

Gigervamp wrote: »

Bumping this up for a couple of reasons.

I noticed that Vintage Brighton hasn't been on MSE since the end of October. I do hope she's ok.

Also, I need some support.

What to do when you can see someone you love (my husband) heading towards either a mental breakdown or heart attack (his father had one in his 50s and his uncle died of one, so there's family history) but he refuses to accept the help that the GP has offered.

He refuses to take anti-depressants because when he was on them 3 years ago, he felt like a zombie and apparently "everyone" he's spoken to who took them said they didn't work.

I've pointed out that there are different ones and it can take a while to find the one that suits, but he still refuses.

He's getting worse and his physical health is getting worse because of it. Doc said the physical problems are caused by stress and offered anti-ds, but he still refused.

I'm terrified.

Glad to see things have eased a bit GV, hopefully you're both getting the support you need. I think we sometimes forget how hard it is for those supporting us but being powerless to change things. And how lovely of you to think of me, thank you.

I haven't been on for a while, things are a bit up and down. The good news is we got married here in Scotland in January. Just a small ceremony with a meal after but it was lovely and just perfect for us We've spent some time exploring Scotland - I'm a bit limited in how much I can travel but we plan it in stages and take time to rest (lots of painkillers helps too!)

I have moved all my medical care up here, it seemed sensible as my appointments kept being changed and it's not so easy to keep changing travel and sleeping arrangements. I'm ok but of course, I'm coming up to another round of tests which has sent me into a slump again. As I said, up and down :eek:

It's a strange feeling, these slumps I get into. I almost feel as though I'm 'failing' at being a cancer 'survivor'. Like I should be mountain climbing or running marathons to raise funds, fuelled only by gratitude for being given my life back.... very odd. And actually, the problem is it's not the life I wanted thanks very much. I was quite happy with my old life, this one comes with too many ongoing issues. Not least of which is the expectation that I should be permanently happy as I've survived. As someone on another group said, it's almost like ptsd.....

Anyway, enough of that, I'm around should anyone else want a bit of a winge..... my speciality it seems :rotfl:

VB x

juliethemuse

Having had breast cancer, I spend a lot of time worrying it;s going to return. I am due my first mammogram since diagnosis and I'm scared to death of getting recalled again.

candlelight_2013

Julie I was the same, I would get myself worked up before every checkup, and before each yearly mammogram.

At the beginning it was the last thing I thought of before going to sleep and the first thing I thought when I woke up. I promise you it does get better, but I think we all know that it could come back, but as time passes the worry isn't always there, like at the beginning.

I am now five and a half years post op, and I had excellent care at our local hospital (which is a centre of excellence) I was concerned that I didn't qualify for regular mammograms as before, but I will be sent an appointment when I am 73, I am now 71. My oncologist told me I just have to ask my GP to refer me for a mammogram. I just feel it is reassuring to know someone else is checking me as well, because no one could feel the tumour I had, it only showed up on the mammogram.

Good luck, think positive, and think how lucky you are that it was discovered.

Hugs

Candlelightx

PS To think I hated having them before all this, and now I request them, but that is for my own peace of mind.