Do I have a right to be annoyed?

ERICS_MUM

Personally I'd say something like "oh, didn't realise we were still doing collections - where's mine then" in a jokey light hearted way.

LameWolf

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Ah remind me of 6th form

Nearly everyone in my social circle had a big fuss made on their 18th, on my 18th birthday not one person even wished me happy birthday and it did make me think "sod you all" as i'd always chipped in for everyone else.

At my workplace some people seem to get gifts but not others, tbh i make a point of booking off my birthday every year as its easier than being involved with the whole birthday thing.

The evening of my 18th, I went to the pub I worked in 3 evenings a week, to get out of the house as my father as throwing one of his frequent paddywacks.:cool:

I always used to take my birthday off, too; as it's in April, I used to book a week's annual leave and do my spring cleaning.:o

karren

Id send a card from you and ignore the email.
I had cliques but unfortunately that's wherever you work.

Fireflyaway

Just ignore it if you can and hopefully they will have the decency not to ask you to your face. If they do then maybe just donate a very small token amount otherwise that could cause more ill feeling if you don't. I agree its not nice feeling you have to keep contributing to stuff.

I know how you feel though. I am currently off sick and didn't receive a card or email or anything, where as another colleague got a big bunch of flowers and card from the team. They are quite open about who they like and who they don't !

lulu_92

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I think this is just bad luck. You're being asked to join the group (which is a compliment) and going forward your birthday will be celebrated too.

It's just unfortunate timing that your birthday has just passed. Had it been 10 months ago, you probably wouldn't be feeling the same and your turn would be coming up soon.

Finally, make sure people actually know the date of your birthday now.

But I was asked to contribute for other things for the group in March so I don't see it as a new thing.

To make things worse the girl who's birthday it is (who has no idea of the collection) has invited them out for lunch and not me, so I don't think I'll be doing anything at all.

fussypensioner

lulu_92 wrote: »

But I was asked to contribute for other things for the group in March so I don't see it as a new thing.

To make things worse the girl who's birthday it is (who has no idea of the collection) has invited them out for lunch and not me, so I don't think I'll be doing anything at all.

Reading your answers it sounds like you are being excluded and I wonder why you have not been invited to the lunch. Is there any reason why the others are behaving like this towards you? Are they resentful that you have had to have some time off work or perhaps they don't know how to approach you after your miscarriage. Do you think they talk about you behind your back.

lulu_92

fussypensioner wrote: »

Reading your answers it sounds like you are being excluded and I wonder why you have not been invited to the lunch. Is there any reason why the others are behaving like this towards you? Are they resentful that you have had to have some time off work or perhaps they don't know how to approach you after your miscarriage. Do you think they talk about you behind your back.

I'm not too sure to be honest. If two of them are talking near me it's always whispers but sometimes I think this is to make sure the whole office doesn't hear (sometimes I get told the stuff later)

I don't go on evenings out as the commute is long for me and sometimes the main road I use to get home is closed at night and I don't fancy taking a dodgy diversion :rotfl: but they know that if I don't go it's not personal. We are going out for a meal after work in a couple of weeks so it's not like I'm being horrible by declining a lot of the time.

In all fairness (?!) they never ask me to eat lunch with them so I wouldn't normally bat an eyelid at this.

I just hate the way they pick and choose whether to include me.

One of the girls has had a miscarriage and has spoken to me about it. Another has brought it up but I've kind of just got on with life so it's not like I've been depressed and silent for 3 months.

They probably do talk about my back, but what am I doing right now? The same thing.

rach_k

Perhaps they thought you might be upset if you weren't asked to join in? They may be perfectly understanding of you not wanting to contribute, but it's still nice to be asked, otherwise you might feel like they didn't want you involved at all. Some people would be upset by that.

lulu_92

rach_k wrote: »

Perhaps they thought you might be upset if you weren't asked to join in? They may be perfectly understanding of you not wanting to contribute, but it's still nice to be asked, otherwise you might feel like they didn't want you involved at all. Some people would be upset by that.

I've not spoken to them about contributing to this present and a lot of the time I do contribute to presents and stuff. I've never given them reason to think I have issues with it.

Doesn't explain the general snubbing, though.

frooglefraggle

I would be cheesed off with the situation! It's happened to me!

Collection in an office for everyone's birthday/wedding/engagement/baby showers/exam passes/driving test/operations

Used to cost a couple of quid a month, I always contributed!
My 30th naff all! I wasn't even able to take the day off! When the woman who organised it when she came a week or two later for one of the other staff I just replied "is this still going on? Oh funny enough it was my 30th last week" she shuffled off not saying anything, at that point I decided that colleagues were a joke and actually I didn't like working with people! And am now self employed! I got a amazing card for my birthday, beautiful cake and a watch (no office politics involved) also off my customers I had 2bottles of champers, 3 bottles of plonk some chocolates and a bunch of flowers You should have seen the Christmas party it was awesome!