Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop paying for my host?

Kynthia

This is an odd post for this part of the forum. We get enough genuine issues here and have a separate forum for debates, so don't need manufactured moral dilemmas to spark some discussion.

ceecee1

Reported as spam !!!

iclayt

Aren't you receiving JSA? Why not? If you are, why isn't this enough for daily living costs if you're not paying for anything else?

If you don't want to pay your way I suggest moving out to this mythical place where you'll pay even less. And then tell all of us where it is, we don't like paying for rent, food and bills either.

kinger101

ceecee1 wrote: »

Reported as spam !!!

I did that before and got a very stern warning back.

gaving7095

Is you friend actually asking you to buy food & drinks? Maybe it was a suggestion? Can the amount which you buy be slowly reduced over time, perhaps?
What is the cheaper option for you - going homeless? Returning to parents' house?
Talk to your friend. By the time somebody's allowing you to live with them rent-free, they've already proven themselves to be an amazingly good friend IMO. Therefore, presumably they won't balk at an open & honest discussion re: "I'm afraid I literally can't give you anything".

onlyroz

If you don't take every step possible to show extreme gratitude to your host they will rapidly get fed up of you and tell you to bog off.

Presumably you are getting benefits while you are out of work, and so shouldn't be penniless.

I know from experience, having hosted a "friend" for 8 months after he was repossessed. He didn't pay us a penny and it took him an age to pay us back money we lent him, even after he got the equity through from the repossession. Eventually we told him to bog off and the "friendship" has been permanently soured.

(PS - IDS got into trouble for creating fake case-studies, so MSE should watch their step here...)

benjus

I'd take it as a point of etiquette that if a friend is allowing you to stay at her house rent-free, the least you can do is make some contribution (unless that friend is seriously rich and has no real need of any help).

We lent our spare room recently to a close friend of my wife's who was looking for work in London. We didn't charge her rent, but she often bought food and wine and cooked a meal for the 3 of us.

G_M

kinger101 wrote: »

I did that before and got a very stern warning back.

Yeah - the mods don't like people reporting posts as spam if they are not genuinely spam.

and since the post in question came from a mod.............:eek:

3 strikes and you're out!

Fujiko

I don't know your age, but you sound incredibly naive.

Living in London is very expensive. Did you not work out how much you were likely to earn and more to the point how much you would have to pay to rent even a tiny flat, plus travel costs, etc? Why do you have to work in London, the most expensive place in the UK? Is this your first job, or have you worked somewhere else before? Are your skills so specialised that you couldn't work elsewhere? Assuming that you have been working before, the sensible thing to have done would have been to make sure you had some savings before moving and a job to go to so that you would know exactly how much your living costs would be. If you are as poor as you imply, if I was your friend and you appear to be without savings, I would be worried you might want to stay even after you had found a job and somewhere you could afford to live. Time to grow up!

G_M

Fujiko wrote: »

I don't know your age, but you sound incredibly naive.

here is no 'you'.

It's made up.