Paying for accomodation at the reception

BigAunty

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

My advice would be do a quick straw poll of family and friends to see if they think they might want a room or not - without any pressure to agree. And then make a decision as to whether you can afford it. People like to be asked their opinion and it's not like choosing food options where people might be miffed if you don't take their advice. You aren't asking for advice you're just asking if they think they might like to stay. Simple. I hope!

I can see your point but think this is just too unreliable a method. At the point they think it's a good idea, they haven't considered the full expense, the travel, have things cropping up at the last issue, which cause people to drop out (as per the previous post) where someone struggled to fill 11 rooms with 80 guests. I think the OP would just get optimistic responses which may not get fulfilled.

pickledonionspaceraider

wizzywills wrote: »

How can we reasonably invite guests and then ask them to pay us back for their bed and breakfast?

You can't, really.

It is expensive being a guest at a wedding, new outfit, travel, present for the bride and groom = all this to support you on your day. You shouldn't add an expected cost to your guests, because you want sole use of the hotel

As an aside, anyone living within reasonable driving distance may well wish to go home.

Every hotel wedding I have been to have held the reception in a totally private area of the hotel - so other hotel guests would likely not be an issue

happyandcontented

I think 50 rooms is a lot.

I don't think £75 is a lot to pay to stay over, I have paid much more for the last two weddings I attended.

Only you can work out what the likelihood is of enough people wanting to stay.

You need to work out the demographic of your guests; are they young families, hard up students, pensioners for example, all of whom may not wish to pay or stay for their own reasons. Or, are they young couples, middle aged affluent couples, close family and friends who can afford to stay and would actively enjoy it (as we do). Add into that distance, we like to stay over but if the venue was very close we would only do it for close family/friends.

Gloomendoom

We offered our guests a field to camp in if they wanted. Zero cost to them and zero cost to us.

A surprising number of people took us up on it.

PenguinOfDeath

If you booked it as they have present it, and no one wants to pay to stay over, you wouldnt be out of pocket, as that is what you have agreed to. If you managed to claw back some £££ by whatever means you deem fit then great but if that's the venue you want and noone else there, then that's what you pay regardless if it all gets used or not.

I've never heard of anywhere willingly give potential revenue away, especially when the W word is mentioned!

sheramber

When my son got married guests were told that they could book a room direct with the hotel if they wanted one.

Ourselves and the bride's uncle did book rooms. We were all in the same corrider and never saw any of the other hotel guests.

My other son and his partner went home as they lived locally but they returned to hotel the next morning to join us for breakfast.


Rather than think of the cost of room . if you want exclusive use of the venue then think of the cost as the total, including the rooms. Do you/can you pay that amount?
If not, then change venue or scale down your plans.

Mrs_Imp

I really liked a venue for our reception, but it was a hotel and exclusive use would require us to book all the rooms on top of the hire cost (which is understandable). Mr Imp had a look a little bit further afield and found somewhere nicer, cheaper, and because it was a country house, the hire was exclusive without having to book the rooms. Guests could stay and pay £25 per night if they wanted to (all inclusive), but whether they did or not did not affect our costs or our exclusive use.

Have a look around OP you might find something even nicer.

LittleMrsThrifty

OP - I think it depends on your situation.

How likely is it that your family and friends will want to stay over after the wedding? This depends on factors such as how far away they all live from the venue and whether they are the kind of people who will want to stay late and have a drink rather than drive themselves home at 8pm.

If you think they will generally want to head home either because they are not big drinkers/partyers or because they live close enough for a taxi, then it isn't fair to push them to pay to stay over and so you need to look for another venue or not have exclusive use.

Edited for an additional tought: I know you said the hotel couldn't take money from guests and then money off your bill but... when do you pay the hotel bill? I'm assuiming it is a deposit now and then the balance later? Could you ask whether you can guarantee the rooms if they are not filled by guests (ie they add any unused rooms to your final bill).

If on the other hand you think that they will want to stay over (either due to distance or wanting to drink/stay late) then I would suggest nominating someone (perhaps your mum) to coordinate the bookings. Send out a save the date card asap and say something like 'Accommodation is available at the reception venue. We have reserved these to ensure they are available to our guests. The cost is £75 per room B&B. If you would like to stay over please contact us/my mum....'

Personally I nearly always stay over after a wedding because even getting a taxi to the station is £25 so it is much easier for me to drive to the venue, stay over and then drive home once I have sobered up. I would be quite happy if the Bride and Groom or their parents were coordinating this and I paid them. I don't think any guests would expect you to pay for their hotel so the only difficulty comes if you are pushing people to pay to stay over who don't really want to.

Snakey

I wouldn't want the admin - you'll be the one dealing with cancellations and special requests etc.

I would never pay for something myself in the hope that people will pay me back. That's a recipe for disaster.

Also remember, you need to think about human nature as well as how to get what you want. If you coerce or guilt-trip people into saying they'll take a room when they don't really want to spend that sort of money, they'll say yes but you'll find yourself stumping up for a large percentage of drop-outs when the time comes to pay. Not because they're horrible, but because that's what people do when they feel pressured into something (they each tell themselves that one person won't make any difference/you'll easily be able to find someone else to take the room). And you might find that this means people don't come to your wedding at all. Be very careful.

Personally, I'd either:
a) fork out the extra £4k and offer rooms at an amazing discount (matching the local Travelodge) in the hope of getting perhaps 50% of it back;
b) get over the idea of strangers in your hotel (perhaps if people know there's a wedding booked it might put them off anyway though); or
c) keep looking at other venues.

Snakey

I can just imagine the thread on here: my husband's friend is getting married soon and his fiance is insisting that everybody stay over and pay £75 - which has to be given to her, and not directly to the hotel. They have pretty much demanded an instant decision plus the cash up front, and have said that if we don't do it they won't be able to have their dream venue. We'd really rather go home/stay at the local Travelodge, but I know my husband would feel guilty about letting his friend down - and I'd hate for there to be any unpleasantness on the day. What should we do?