avoiding someone at event

catoutthebag

Delree wrote: »

How old are you? I'm assuming in your teens.

Says you...boo hop ex seeing someone
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5252021

Clearly what I asked and the responses I had showed my question to br genuine and which many people have to face.

catoutthebag

Thanks again - I plan to enjoy myself and relax and be the bigger and better person and just keep on going.

duchy

Actually if I hadn't read a previous thread I'd have assumed you were a teenager because of your less than stellar social skills.

Most people learn early on that in this kind of situation you don't embarass your host or their guests by behaving ungraciously but are considerate of others. If you do encounter your bete noir head on you smile politely then turn away and speak to someone else not make nasty remarks like a spiteful teenager or so pointedly ignore them or refuse to speak to them that no-one can miss your bad manners.

There's a woman in my social group who I simply cannot stand - she's a nasty piece of work and has a habit of trying to play mind games and has caused another friend of mine a lot of mental distress. The trouble is we do have friends in common. When I encounter her I make sure I don't need to speak to her directly but wouldn't dream of making myself look bad by been rude to her or making it clear I don't speak to her.......In a social setting there is always someone else to speak to instead. My close friends know I don't like her (and understand why) but our aquaintances in the group have no idea despite attending the same functions.

Act your age not your shoe size- and if you can't - then don't go !

pollypenny

Keep your dignity, be polite and move on.

Pollycat

OP
Do you really think your reply #12 is necessary?

Are you absolutely sure you can retain your dignity and keep quiet if provoked at this event?

Because your tit-for-tat reply to Delree's (admittedly silly) post makes me wonder if you can.
Not to mention seeking out his thread and posting on that too.
If you can't ignore an anonymous poster on a public forum, can you do it at a stressful 'massive social event'?

Birdie85

I would avoid the person and if brought together, keep it brief and polite before moving on.

My DH could not stand his friend's (now ex) wife; at parties etc he would just avoid her by moving between circles of people, if she joined his circle, he'd move onto another. Kept this up for years without people even realising that there was an issue between them!

catoutthebag

duchy wrote: »

Actually if I hadn't read a previous thread I'd have assumed you were a teenager because of your less than stellar social skills.

Most people learn early on that in this kind of situation you don't embarass your host or their guests by behaving ungraciously but are considerate of others. If you do encounter your bete noir head on you smile politely then turn away and speak to someone else not make nasty remarks like a spiteful teenager or so pointedly ignore them or refuse to speak to them that no-one can miss your bad manners.

There's a woman in my social group who I simply cannot stand - she's a nasty piece of work and has a habit of trying to play mind games and has caused another friend of mine a lot of mental distress. The trouble is we do have friends in common. When I encounter her I make sure I don't need to speak to her directly but wouldn't dream of making myself look bad by been rude to her or making it clear I don't speak to her.......In a social setting there is always someone else to speak to instead. My close friends know I don't like her (and understand why) but our aquaintances in the group have no idea despite attending the same functions.

Act your age not your shoe size- and if you can't - then don't go !

I don't know you. You don't know me. You can't pass judgement about me. Doing so shows more about you than me. I shan't be lowering myself to your level and certainly don't new to justify my wide and varied social circle to trolls like you or my very sociable job. My query related to a situation I had never found myself in. I got some very good and constructive comments from actual posters not armchair sad old aged trolls and keyboard warriors like you - that's just beneath me. So feel free to waste more oxygen and hot air as I won't be further checking this thread. Thankd to rest.

onlyroz

I wouldn't do anything silly like going out of your way to avoid this person, or coming up with elaborate sarcastic responses. If you happen to encounter then just nod and say hello. There is no need to engage with them beyond this, and there is no need to hide from them either. Just enjoy the event and spend time with people you get on with. If this person does try to get you involved in a longer conversation just say that you have to be elsewhere.

Carl31

I have an ex friend like that. I tried to be civil once and was unsurprisingly ignored so now I just treat them as someone I don't know. Easier that way and I don't feel awkward.

Lucyxx

I have been in this situation with my OH's horrible brother. We detest each other and haven't spoken for over a decade. The first time we came across each other at an event he said hi and I just looked through him as if he wasn't even there. I also didn't bite when standing in church for another event, he said to his equally obnoxious girlfriend at the time "Can you see standing behind that wide load" - meaning me - I was 37 weeks pregnant with a big baby so considerably larger than my normal size 10. (I didn't care I got so big with that pregnancy, I was growing a baby human!) His family know the deal with us hating each other & still sat us opposite each other on the table on a seating plan. I just ignored his existence and he with me and that is how it has been at anything ever since.