Charging rent to someone who is back with parents due to illness

Flyonthewall

Dark_elf wrote: »

They just told him 'we want X amoun't and he said 'Ok'. He did not think he would be able to cope living alone with strangers so he went to his parents home.

Going slightly off topic, I know, but why are they strangers to him? Would it not be a good idea to get to know them, not only because he's living with them, but in case he's ill again in the future?

Less stressful then as he can stay in his own home and he won't have the issue again where he owes money to his parents.

Dark_elf

Flyonthewall wrote: »

Going slightly off topic, I know, but why are they strangers to him? Would it not be a good idea to get to know them, not only because he's living with them, but in case he's ill again in the future?

Less stressful then as he can stay in his own home and he won't have the issue again where he owes money to his parents.

It suppose shared houses have different vibes. I have lived in some where people socialise together and make friends and others where people come and go at different times and they just use the house as a place to sleep as they go out to work, socialise with their own friends outside the house.

The people are not that friendly and there is a stigma to mental health problems still.

DKLS

Dark_elf wrote: »

He is going to pay, - he is trying to get back on his feet financially - he paid them £100 already which is when he told me about this.

I suppose my question is 'is this fair and reasonable to you to charge in these circumstances' and what amount would cover extra expenses.

Its irrelevant what is fair and reasonable, the parents wanted £200 a month and he agreed to stay. If he didn't like their terms he could have always found a room on spareroom.com but that would have cost him a lot more than £200 a month.

Flyonthewall

Dark_elf wrote: »

It suppose shared houses have different vibes. I have lived in some where people socialise together and make friends and others where people come and go at different times and they just use the house as a place to sleep as they go out to work, socialise with their own friends outside the house.

The people are not that friendly and there is a stigma to mental health problems still.

Ah right I'd hate to live with strangers like that.

BigAunty

Dark_elf wrote: »

I know personally that when my sister visited me for a couple of weeks, all I had do get extra were extra milk and the type of cereal she likes. £2 per week tops. I just added an extra handfull of rice/pasta and had a slightly smaller helping of the bolognese whatever. I did not notice anything different in my bills at all for those two weeks.

Now you've said they both work and have enough spends for holidays, it all sounds quite horrible. On the benefits forum, non-dependent deductions cause a lot of anxiety (though to be honest, I think some of the time, its caused by some kind of resistence to having to contribute to the household kitty for expenses that used to be picked up passively by benefits).

It's a shame that were not more compassionate and understanding about his loss of income and extra expense they were causing him.

Perhaps they come from a culture that is less 'soft'. My BIL was once made homeless by his partner with no notice and his parents wouldn't initially lend him any money to help him out and when they relented, they charged him interest. It sounds cruel (well it is) but some people come from a background where it is seen as important to stand on your own two feel and not scrounge - debt is a total no-no,for example, credit is for spendthrifts,etc.

I still dispute your calculations for food. If my sibling stays with me for a week, and despite regarding myself as thrifty, I can't see how I can get away with an extra spend on food of 30 pence a day, that would barely cover the biscuits she'd dunk in her tea.

Dark_elf

DKLS wrote: »

Its irrelevant what is fair and reasonable, the parents wanted £200 a month and he agreed to stay. If he didn't like their terms he could have always found a room on spareroom.com but that would have cost him a lot more than £200 a month.

I am not saying he should argue with them about the amount. I am just having a discussion here on the internet about different views on this.

He did already have a room that was sitting empty and he was paying for that due to his rental contract.

Dark_elf

BigAunty wrote: »

Perhaps they come from a culture that is less 'soft'. My BIL was once made homeless by his partner with no notice and his parents wouldn't initially lend him any money to help him out and when they relented, they charged him interest. It sounds cruel (well it is) but some people come from a background where it is seen as important to stand on your own two feel and not scrounge - debt is a total no-no,for example, credit is for spendthrifts,etc.

I still dispute your calculations for food. If my sibling stays with me for a week, and despite regarding myself as thrifty, I can't see how I can get away with an extra spend on food of 30 pence a day, that would barely cover the biscuits she'd dunk in her tea.

Thank you for your reply. Re the food etc. - you are right - I am probably underestimating but they are costs I would absorb personally.

They always pride themselves on being very religious (but only go to church a handful of times a year) and 'family values' so no, I would not have placed them as people from a 'hard' background.

I don't know them well enough to know their attitudes about debt etc, but they do spend a lot on gadgets, cars, nails done etc.

Pollycat

I think it does sound a little harsh on the face of it but we don't know the other side of the story or the history between your friend and his parents (e.g. did he borrow money from them in the past and reneged on payment? did he not pay board when he was living there previously? etc etc) so I'm going to save my righteous indignation.

PasturesNew

I could be kept in the manner to which I am accustomed, for under £15/week (inc food).... but I'm cheap to run. That'd cover food, electricity/heating and water.

As parents, with an ill child (that THEY made, don't forget!) and with sufficient income/spare cash to be of the "cruising classes" they're just [a] wrong and tight.

Unless their aim was to encourage him to get back to his own home soonest as it'd genuinely be in his best interests.

Sounds more like they are tight though.

Dark_elf

Pollycat wrote: »

I think it does sound a little harsh on the face of it but we don't know the other side of the story or the history between your friend and his parents (e.g. did he borrow money from them in the past and reneged on payment? did he not pay board when he was living there previously? etc etc) so I'm going to save my righteous indignation.

He lived with them before and was always really good at paying bills etc. obviously, as you say I only know one side of the story. he was paid quite well and I think a part of them misses his income. There has never been any loan, history etc between them.