How can I get my son to focus?

missbiggles1

What is he planning to do after GCSEs and what grades will he need?

Potternerd

He really has no idea, but says vaguely " something in the media". He is quite immature

missbiggles1

Potternerd wrote: »

He really has no idea, but says vaguely " something in the media". He is quite immature

Does he know he'll have to start applying for things in the next couple of months? Has he seen a Careers Adviser yet?

gabriel1980

I think you're worrying unduly. He's 15. It's perfectly acceptable to not know what you want to do with your life at that age. He might not be academic, does he play sports at all? I mean at 15 all he's probably doing is chasing girls and masturbating. Give him a break!

Flyonthewall

Actually playing games can have an advantage. It can help with communications, hand-eye coordination, finance, strategy, it can teach you about history, help you relax and so on.

Certainly don't take it away from him, but maybe limit his time on it.

GCSEs are important, but if he's not academic then it's probably hard for him to focus. It's also not the end of the world if he doesn't do that well. There are apprenticeships, he could get a job, he could do a BTEC course (he may have to start at a lower level if he doesn't have the qualifications, but at least he has it as an option.)

Sounds like he has some idea of what he wants to do, although media covers various things. He could do a BTEC course that covers various media options if he's unsure what area he likes.

Have you sat down and had a proper chat with him? If not, do so. Discuss the various areas of media.

Is he good at graphics? You can do media courses with graphics, graphics courses (2D or 3D), art courses and so on. He could go on to do animation, game design, web graphics and all sorts.

Does he like writing? Would he want to write web content, for a newspaper, write a book? Maybe he'd be good at coding for apps, websites or games?

Would he prefer something involving talking? Voice overs on games or animations, reporter, teaching media in some form?

He could even become a games tester, although it's not as fun as it sounds (repetitive gameplay and report writing). Still, it may be something he realises he wants to do.

He might be more focused if he's aiming for something he truly wants to do, but he may need a little help in finding that goal. At least something in media is something to go off and there are many options.

amistupid

When my kids were at school, homework was always a priority and no matter how much they moaned, I ensured it was done to the best of their ability and not rushed. Once their work was done they could play on their computers.

They both went on to do well academically and have often thanked me for being quite strict with them.

Having said that, although their degrees secured them good jobs, they say it was the computer programming they'd done in their leisure time, that's proved most valuable in their employment.

Potternerd

I'm not so worried about him not knowing what he wants to do, I think that's fine at his age. My real concern is that he won't do well in his GCSEs and will start closing off his options because he isn't bothered or mature enough to see them as gateway to other things. Xbox is downstairs it in his room

PlymouthMaid

It might help to tell him that the Government are now insisting that young people who do not gain their grade Cs or above for Maths and English have to keep studying them either at school/college or during their apprenticeships. The idea of having to continue with these subjects for longer may make him focus more. Is he aware of what sort of entry requirements will be needed for further studies in his possible chosen career areas?

pickledonionspaceraider

I know others have said to the contrary, but I would stop this xbox during the week = School work in the week and Xbox at the weekends (if school work is done)

It won't go down well if he has previously had unlimited access - but he needs to realise that on the verge of adulthood, he needs to focus on the priorities at hand and live in the real world not in a game

If he moans about the XBOX being removed during the week, let him moan! We can't all just get what we want by whinging for it, can we? you are just preparing him for the real world where we reap what we sow, and if he reaps nothing = he will get nothing

Good luck, I know it is hard

barbiedoll

My son was (is) exactly the same. He's actually quite bright but lacks focus and he is also an avid gamer.

We found the carrot/stick method worked well. He was only allowed on his console when his homework was done. We did get a lot of "I don't have to do homework tonight because English/maths/science doesn't have to be in until Friday" type conversations, in other words, he thought he could spend 4 days a week on the gaming and cram the homework into one night! Sadly for him, the school provided a homework planner so I used to check up when his homework had been given. We also insisted on 2 nights each week with "no gadgets"...so that we could spend a bit of time actually talking. Although that was like pulling teeth at times lol!

When he was studying for his GCSE's, we insisted on half hour sessions of revision, twice nightly, with a break of an hour or so, for chilling out, in between. At weekends, he had to study for at least two hours each day, but he was allowed to break that down into half hour chunks. I found that he worked better for short periods of time but more often, rather than expecting him to work for hours at a time in one go.

My son is now 17 and still has no idea of what he wants to do for a living. He did pass his GCSE's, and he gained a couple of other qualifications in sixth form, he is now off to study drama at college in September. We did have to push him a little but from what I've heard about some of his mates' results, I'm glad that we did.

He's never going to be a rocket scientist but maybe he'll one day end up playing one on film!