Young Working Mum

autumn2012_2

No its not judge-mental - it is my choice and I wouldn't but others do wait until in their 30's and that's great (for them not me). I don't care how old somebody is or what their job title is or whether they are single or not.. I can do exactly the same things at 40 than I could at 20. If I want to go to uni and study law then I can.

tomtontom

There were two posts on here suggesting the OP contacts people in similar situations for support, any reason why they've been deleted? Seems rather ungracious removing posts offering constructive advice ...

*niptuckfan*

seems no matter what you do in life someone has an opinion, im 36 expecting baby no 1 i have school friends who had babies at 17 onwards...they have went on to go to uni and now in great careers and now enjoying all that comes like holidays more money etc, i have done the opposite way..doesnt make me any better or worse and some would say younger you have more energy! do whats right for you

engineer_amy

Each to their own I say.


I have a colleague who had her first child at 17, second a year or two later. She is now 33 and always says she is glad she did it while she was young as she definitely wouldn't have the energy to run around after young children now. Now the kids are at an age where they don't need constant looking after and attention and she has a lot more free time to do her own thing. While the kids were young, it allowed her to study part time and decide on a career path, then concentrate on it, whereas, if she had the kids later, she may have had to take time out of a career, potentially limiting her opportunities. (I know it shouldn't happen, but it does)


Me on the other hand, I am the least maternal person you will find, and don't want kids. But other people's decisions on having kids is their business, I wouldn't judge on whether you had a child at 13 or 39.

sweetilemon

autumn2012 wrote: »

I am a young working mum (career ahead of me) however I regularly get older parents saying about how Im too young to understand and Iv wasted my life?? Not that I agree. I try my best to be the best mum I can whilst working and paying all the bills etc. Makes you feel totally worthless.

Take no notice, age doesn't make you a better parent. Far from it. Young mums get such a hard time with unfair prejudice. Sometimes it's just pure jealousy. I get quite a few "too young" comments at work ( I'm late twenties - not particularly young!). Life experience isn't always about age either.

Kynthia

Topcat1982 wrote: »

That is judgemental! That is suggesting there is something wrong with it.

Why can we not all just live and let live

It wasn't judgemental in anyway. The OP just said what she wouldn't do and not that it was wrong, just as others have said they wouldn't of married and had children at 21. Having a different opinion from others doesn't necessarily mean judging them but can mean it's harder to understand their motives and outlook, but life would be boring if we were all the same.

I know someone who married and had children young. Once the children were teenagers she started working, then started studying professional qualifications. By the time she was 45 she was senior management, a fully qualified accountant, the children had left home so she and her husband bought fancy cars and were having fancy foreign holidays twice a year. Yes one advantage to starting a family later can be greater financial security but youth can mean better health and more energy. However who knows how life will turn out for all of us and so we make the best choices we can

selloptape

This struck a chord... I've felt very judged in my journey as a parent... There just seem to be countless ways for other people (parents or not!!) to criticise your lifestyle. Eg breast feeding v bottle, SAHM V working mum, age you've had children,, if you used pain relief at birth (male friends of y ex partner gave me grief for having an epidural!) the list is endless and extends to your child's life, achievements, what brands (or not)they wear and who play with....

(My son is at secondary now so this is years of judging lol)

I try to rise above it and get them to see from my point, not always easy to stay calm though :-)

Hope this hasn't made OP feel worse! I'm sure you are doing a brill job juggling work and motherhood, we're all different and at the end of your day you just need to make it work for you and your family

gayleygoo

I had my first baby at 20, and sometimes have wondered if I've "missed out" on anything, but really it would just be the freedom to go out partying and be irresponsible! My children are worth much more than that , if it bothers me once they've flown the nest then I shall go be irresponsible then

I've just had my third baby (hopefully the last!) so I'm a SAHM until the youngest goes to nursery at least, there's no way I could fit in work right now. However, I'm working on an OU degree and hope to be employable and make a career once my kids are bigger.

My first pregnancy was unplanned, but now I'm very glad I started my family young, while fit and healthy. Most of my friends are in their 30's and just planning their families, and they might find things harder physically, even though they may be more financially secure than we were at 20. There are pros and cons whether you are 20 or 40! So don't worry about anyone who judges you for your choices

AndyBSG

I'm the complete opposite to the OP in that I became a father late in life a the age of 38.

Yes, I partied and had lots of nights out when I was young but now that i'm a parent all of that seems shallow, pointless and superficial to me now and I wish i'd become a parent earlier and used all that money and time I wasted on being a younger dad!