Am i paying too much

Buzzybee90

Surely you should be paying half the bills, why all?!

Person_one

He's onto a good thing here, all his bills paid and I presume you also do the bulk of the childcare and housework? What's in it for you? How the hell did you manage on mat leave?

Very serious conversation needed asap, if not some relationship counselling.

http://www.relate.org.uk

FBaby

You're not looking at it in the right direction. It's not about the total income you get, or the total bills you pay, it's about what's left over, ie. your disposable income. That's what should be the same to be fair (or you a bit higher if you are going to pay everything for the kids).

What you need to do is on one side right al the income you are receiving each (include tax credits/CB if applicable to you if you get them). Then write down all your necessary bills. Then look at the difference. If you are left with say £100 a week for all non essential things, and he is left with £200, then he either needs to transfer £50 to you weekly (or a little over £200 a month), or he needs to pay £50 more on something.

If you can't seat down and be totally honest about all your income and bills, then you need to work on this issue first before getting down with numbers.

LilElvis

You do realise that if the relationship ends you will have no home and no entitlement to anything other than child maintenance, whilst he will have equity in his property which you have effectively paid for?

LannieDuck

I would start by working out our monthly outgoings (a bit like a SOA). Then work out how much you pay and how much he pays. If there's a large disparity, it's definitely time for a chat.

But regardless of that, it sounds as if you may need to have a proper conversation about your relationship. Are you going to act as a family, in which case you should be pooling your resources and making sure each person has the same disposable income. And perhaps he should consider adding you to the mortgage, esp since you're subsidising him paying it? Or does he still see you as two separate people?

cookie3030

He earns too much for me to be able to receive tax credits, i do get the child benefit each week, only just though.
When i was on mat leave he paid all bills and i just paid for food.
If it did end yes i know i would have to go into renting.

Person_one

cookie3030 wrote: »

He earns too much for me to be able to receive tax credits

That's a big clue right there that the state/society at large/normal people would fully expect that your finances are shared and your resources are pooled to support the whole family appropriately.

Beckyy

cookie3030 wrote: »

Yes exactly im helping him to free up his salary so he can pay much more on his motgage. I pay for gas, electric, sky, phone, internet, water, and all the weekly food shop. He pays for council tax?

OP, please have a talk soon!

That's crazy.

Work out exactly how much all your bills are and split them equally.

If he's not willing to put the house into joint names then he can pay that himself on top of the joint bills as he can obviously afford it. If he isn't happy about that then suggest putting the house into joint names so you can contribute towards the mortgage also. It doesn't sound like your OH is acting in your family's best interest at all. Time to stop being a softie :grouphug:

paddy's_mum

Lady, this man is keeping his financial running shoes in good order and you are knowingly and willingly keeping yourself and your children vulnerable.

A will takes moments to destroy or change and if he chose to do so, you get left holding the babies while he gets to keep all the assets you have worked so hard for.

You OWE your children's safety a lot more than being biddable will ever get you.

Good luck but this truly does need sorting out.

dirty_magic

I agree with the above. I would suggest to him that he can either put you on the mortgage or split the bills 50:50 and he can continue paying it.

You're effectively paying for his share of food and bills to allow him to overpay his mortgage. Why should you subsidise his mortgage to then be left with nothing if you split up?