Am i paying too much

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I was a single parent and renting when i met my other half and after a few years together he bought a house and me and my child moved in. I had to reduce my hrs at work so i could do the school run. I payed all the bills and food and had to pay for my child things he needed, clothes, school dinner money, school trips etc my wage barely covered it all. We now have a child together and im still expected to pay for all bills apart from coucil tax. And i buy all the food each week and buy clothes etc for my children. My partner comes out with double what i earn a month and pays the mortgage and council tax and house insurance. When i say he should pay 50/50 for food its frowned upon. Im using all my wage to pay for everything while he can save his money and he pays more on the mortgage each month to pay the mortgage off quicker. Basically I'm his lodger as im paying for a lot and do not earn enough.
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  • Gigglepig
    Gigglepig Posts: 1,270 Forumite
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    Sounds like it is (well past) time to sit down and have a frank discussion about finances, and make a budget for all your outgoings. If you are a family it makes sense to think of it as 'our' money rather than mine and yours. Some couples pay half each, others contribute in proportion to their salaries. That being said not everyone is happy to subsidese their part er working part time... And if he treats you as a lodger it may be good to be more financially independent.. So maybe you should look into earning more and paying half each for wrap around childcare.
  • BJV
    BJV Posts: 2,535 Forumite
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    MMMM well at least he is not wasting it and instead paying the mortgage off quicker. BUT you need to talk to him. No matter what the economics no matter if in the end it works out the same ( with over payment )( I doubt it will ) you are unhappy. So talk to him. Not just a quick word over a coffee but really talk and tell him how you feel.
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!:A
  • Stevie_Palimo
    Stevie_Palimo Posts: 3,306 Forumite
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    Get married for a period of time and do not sign a pre nup then divorce him shortly after but long enough to get a 50-50 share.


    Seriously he sounds like a selfish git and needs to be fare with you.
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,132 Forumite
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    As you are grown up to be making babies together, you should also be talking about finances.

    After all bills and costs have been paid, you should have roughly the same money left over each month.

    Why don't you work out a fair budget and show it to him?

    Would you not be better off on your own???
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • elisebutt65
    elisebutt65 Posts: 3,854 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    Are you on the mortgage as well?

    OH & I pay proportionally what we pay as I only earn a 1/4, so I pay a 1/4. I also paid a 1/4 of the deposit and we have a deed of trust & wills that reflect this, as he has 4 kids and I have 2, so they all get left the right proportion when we kick the bucket. But we each have the right to stay in the house until the one left pegs it as well.

    If you're not married & not on the mortgage then you need to sort this out asap
    Noli nothis permittere te terere
    Bad Mothers Club Member No.665
    [STRIKE]Student MoneySaving Club member 026![/STRIKE] Teacher now and still Moneysaving:D

  • cookie3030
    cookie3030 Posts: 10 Forumite
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    Hi
    Im not on the mortgage. We have made wills together so i get the house should anything happen.
    I just feel the least he could do is contribute a bit more, but maybe it is my fault for being so soft from the start and paying for most of it.
  • elisebutt65
    elisebutt65 Posts: 3,854 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
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    That doesn't really help you, if you split up & you're not married though? Unless you're married or on the house deeds you are basically classed as a lodger and no recourse to any of his assets - that you've helped pay for by freeing up his salary to overpay the mortgage.
    Noli nothis permittere te terere
    Bad Mothers Club Member No.665
    [STRIKE]Student MoneySaving Club member 026![/STRIKE] Teacher now and still Moneysaving:D

  • Beckyy
    Beckyy Posts: 2,830 Forumite
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    If he want's to keep the mortgage in his name any pay for that himself then fair enough but everything else should be split equally IMO, especially things for the children assuming you're in a long term relationship.

    Do you pay for utilities, electricity etc.?

    Would you be better off if you were to pay 1/3 of all bills and he paid 2/3 of all bills? Do you think there may come a time you decide to move and buy a house together or put his house in joint names?

    Either way you need to have a chat about it. Something along the lines of "I can't afford to pay for as much as I am currently, can we split all our joint bills more evenly please?"
  • cookie3030
    cookie3030 Posts: 10 Forumite
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    Yes exactly im helping him to free up his salary so he can pay much more on his motgage. I pay for gas, electric, sky, phone, internet, water, and all the weekly food shop. He pays for council tax? And yes i know im not entitled to anything if we did split up
  • cookie3030
    cookie3030 Posts: 10 Forumite
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    I would be a lot better off but it would not be helping him much would it?
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