Did something im not really proud of........

(Land_of)_Maz

vellum wrote: »

may not be a good idea to let him know u went thro his personal stuffs, nobody like that, always end up with big rows. honesty is good, but wisdom is better. the wisdom in communication is wisely choose what to say and what not to say, in order to maintain social harmony or to do a small evil (not telling him) in order to achieve a bigger good (keep his trust), if it makes sense.

Wise words Vellum, hence have thanked you for the post.

Very eloquent!

imoneyop

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

He remortgaged for £70k and the reason given on the form was 'debt consolidation and home improvements'. It must have been one hell of a debt as the balance of his re-mortgage has been added to his bank account - 7k. That means £63k was used to consolidate his debts. So he now makes two mortgage payments each month, one for about £600 and one for £800.

Was it a remortgage or a further loan?

If he remortaged then he will only have the one loan for £70k and the 7k will be the balance left after the original mortgage was paid off.

Burlesque_Babe

Sounds like he has the mortgage and then a second mortgage secured on the property. The 'left over' money from the second mortage is the 7k in the bank.

imoneyop

AFAIK if you take a second mortgage then the lender pays the money to you, they don't normally pay it to anyone else (unless the debts being consolidated were secured on the property)

BARGAINHUNTER!

imoneyop wrote: »

Was it a remortgage or a further loan?

If he remortaged then he will only have the one loan for £70k and the 7k will be the balance left after the original mortgage was paid off.

According to his bank statements he is currently making two mortgage payments. But now you have made me wonder, perhaps in one month he had to make two payments? Nothing is really filed in order, infact, it is all just stuffed into a plastic envelope, making it hard to see what is what. Now you have got me thinking, perhaps he does not have two mortgages after all. The only way to sort this out is to sit down with him and start a casual conversation about money and us. Hopefully then he will divulge all. Im not going to be angry, I just want to help. He is coming to stay with me bank holiday weekend, so I think a nice meal and a bottle of two of wine are called for! Its amazing what people let slip when their tongues have been loosened! But I have decided im definately not going to admit to snooping. If I have got this wrong then I suppose it serves me right for snooping in the first place!!! I'll post again to let you know what I find out! He has said to me recently that he is trying to cut back. I know that he hasn't been to the pub for 3 weeks which is good. I don't mind him going once a week to have a few pints to catch up with his mates, but the times that I was in there with him he seemed to be buying them all drinks!! There is also a cash machine in the pub, and I saw those transactions on his bank statement, £30, £40 £50 a time. It may just be that he drew some money out though. Again, I should not jump to conclusions without asking him! He does have a credit card, but from the statements I have seen he only has a credit limit of £200 on it, he seems to use his swith card a lot, which I suppose is a good thing. When the bank charge reclaiming started out, I sent him the links to the relevant section on this site, as he has mentioned to me that he had had money problems in the past due to his divorce and being out of work for a bit and he managed to reclaim nearly £3k from Abbey!!:T

Once I have got him to open up to me, I think that I am going to ask him if he would mind me helping him sort himself out. Fopr instance, I know he has the full package on Sky, but never watches the movies! Using my own experience and this sight, im sure I can sort him out!

Anyway, i'll post again once I know the full horror of his situation! Thank you for all your excellent advice!

duchy

Good luck-hope it's a good bank holiday and you end up reassured

imoneyop

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

The only way to sort this out is to sit down with him and start a casual conversation about money and us.

Perhaps suggest "going through bank statements to make sure he's not paid for anything that isn't his" and then notice that he's made two mortgage payments!

tifnstav

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

I think a nice meal and a bottle of two of wine are called for! Its amazing what people let slip when their tongues have been loosened!

Ah, my favourite saying "in vino veritas" - truth in wine!

littlejaffa

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »

He remortgaged for £70k and the reason given on the form was 'debt consolidation and home improvements'. It must have been one hell of a debt as the balance of his re-mortgage has been added to his bank account - 7k. That means £63k was used to consolidate his debts. So he now makes two mortgage payments each month, one for about £600 and one for £800.

Like previous posters i think this doesn't make sence and your jumping to conclusions.
It sounds more like the £70k has paid of his current mortgage/secured loans and the £7k in his bank acount is for the home improvement/unsecured debt. This would mean one payment from his bank account. And 'debt consolidation and home improvements' is thee most common thing to put on your remortgage request and can mean a tiny cc bill.
If he's def paying two amounts each month it sounds more like a secured loan, unlikely for £70k unless his equity is £70k+ If it is a secured loan that will have paid of any secured debts and given him an extra £7k in his bank.

Either way, £1k each month in secured debt, with an income of £50k isn't huge. IMHO It sounds like your jumping to conclusions and he's dealing with his finances.

Burlesque_Babe

I was wondering how the bank holiday weekend went and did you ask him about his situation?