Unauthorised transactions

SeduLOUs

Waldemar wrote: »

Anyway you believe what you want to believe!

Just saying what I see. So you saw £12k of stuff arriving at the house within a 12 month period and knew that money was disappearing from your bank account. Despite that, you apparently didn't bother to even look at your credit card for 6 months, and the issuer didn't bother send you any statements or take any payments for all of this spending the whole time?

Doesn't stack up to me, sorry.

Waldemar

Alarae

Thank you so much for your post, it certainly means a lot to me. It does seem harsh but I do have to take complete financial control otherwise we will never move on from this. Equally we need to seek help and I will be discussing this with her this evening in terms of the best way to go about it. I have tried not to show any anger and to understand this for what it is. Compulsive spending brought on by a manic episodes and depression exasperated by bipolar that has not been helped by a few events that have happened to her/us in the past 12 months not to mention the issues we had in our relationship anyway.

This is not the first time in our 10 year relationship that money issues have been a problem. Our savings have been wiped, she had a lot of debt when we started our relationship and now is make or break time in terms of taking control of all finances and dealing with the relationship issues.

Waldemar

Oh SeduLOUS prone to making sweeping statements and observations are we. Just felt compelled to add the weight of your opinion to the thread.

Might I add in no way constructive or accurate.

£12k of stuff - yes I saw some stuff and knew it was too much stuff. If you had any form of intelligence then you would realise that 12k was my money would you not inference that if someone with a spending problem was spending their husbands money they were also spending their own. In reality it was a lot more than 12K. Would you like me to show you how you can blow 12k in a very short space of time. I would only be too happy to oblige if it is on you. You could call it a learning experience as you don't seem to believe that it is even possible

Do you know all the ins and outs of our circumstance, no of course not. Do you know our income levels and what proportion that this debt is relative to that income again no.
I have not received any statements, I cant remember if I opted out or perhaps they were hidden from me. I did not feel the need to check my credit card account or for that matter my personal account as I knew what I was spending and had coming in and I thought I had resolved the issue of money leaving my account to hers. Of course the issuer took monthly payments for the card debt again you do not know my situation .

Yes when it comes to checking your accounts it should always be done regularly and despite my obvious contempt for Souless sorry SeduLOUS I would advise that you always check your accounts at least monthly. I will be asking for paper statments and if I lose internet banking password will do what it takes to get back on line to check it even if you know where you are mentally.

pvt

Waldemar wrote: »

I am aghast that my credit card company did not pick up on the pattern of spending

Priceless! Absolutely priceless! Neither did you. For six months. The difference is it was your responsibility to "pick up on the pattern", not the card issuer's.

I simply do not understand, if you used this card for congestion charges etc., how you knew what to pay each month without checking the statements?

You said in an earlier post that you have reported these transactions as unauthorised. Your card issuer will send you a declaration to complete asking you to confirm which transactions are unauthorised, and will probably ask if you know who may be responsible for them. At that point you will have 3 options:

1. Tell them you realise you've made a mistake and that you will honour the transactions;
2. Tell them they are unauthorised and that your wife is responsible for the fraud;
3. Tell them they are unauthorised and you don't know who is responsible for them.

I would suggest you take the first option. If you choose to take the second they will probably claim you have been negligent (which you have for not noticing for 6 months) and expect you to pay anyway.
If you take the third option they will probably claw the money back from PayPal, who in turn will pursue your wife for fraud. If/when it transpires that you did know it was down to your wife, then your fraud in saying you did not know who was responsible will be revealed as well.

If either your wife or you have a conviction for fraud you will find it very difficult to get insurance of any kind (house/car/holiday/life) or credit of any kind either.

Finally - can you not sell any of this £12k worth of stuff your wife has purchased, and help pay the debt off that way?

Hope that helps

SeduLOUs

Waldemar wrote: »

Yes when it comes to checking your accounts it should always be done regularly and despite my obvious contempt for Souless sorry SeduLOUS I would advise that you always check your accounts at least monthly. I will be asking for paper statments and if I lose internet banking password will do what it takes to get back on line to check it even if you know where you are mentally.

Your story did just seem completely unbelievable, but I'll give you the benefit of my doubt. I know exactly how I could blow £12k in a week so I don't need a demonstration, but let's not start pretending that £12k is only a small amount of cash to get through either.

Even without any statements, the minimum payments would have been increasing every month which should have been yet another warning sign that the card was being used. Alongside knowing that spending was an issue you absolutely should have been more vigilant - it sounds like you've had your head in the sand about the whole thing to be honest and it's not completely shocking that this would be the end result.

But, I'll admit it's easy to say now as hindsight is a wonderful thing. It sounds like you've learned the most important lesson anyway, so that's what's important, and I hope you find a way out to the other side of it.

Waldemar

PVT

Fair point well made.

Certainly aware of my failings in terms of not keeping tabs on my current account and credit card. Absolutely agree that it is my responsibility to regularly look at my accounts even if I don know what is going in and out or to rephrase what should be going in and out.

I had hardly used the card in 6 months I try and avoid driving in central London and will usually park just outside so the total CC charges were £20 in that 6 months. The rest was as far as I was aware the minimum payment set up by DD to pay the interest plus a small repayment automatically each statement period which I had set up. I logged in as I had got a decent chunk of commission and wanted to pay off the £1500 or so that should have been there had it not been for the unauthorised spending.

Well I have already told the credit card company option#2 however no way will I pursue criminal proceedings for lots of reasons, as you, others and myself have pointed out.

I suppose it was wishful thinking to hope that bankers might have some sympathy for the circumstances and my stupidity at not keeping tabs on finances to waive the overlimit fee and freeze the interest and agree to a repayment plan. They entertained the idea but as soon as I said what I earned they basically said get stuffed you can afford to pay it not our problem. If the shoe was on the other foot I suppose I can see their point.

We can sell some of the stuff and will sell some of the stuff. First priority at the moment is to take the best course of action which looks like 0% balance transfer pay that off before the term. Also to sort out our accounts so I have complete control over them and budgets. Psychological support will also be high priority.

Once we have done that we will sell stuff, probably closer to Christmas. We are fortunate that whilst not ideal or pain free we are not in a desperate situation.

Thank you for your post.

pvt

Waldemar wrote: »

PVT
Well I have already told the credit card company option#2 however no way will I pursue criminal proceedings for lots of reasons, as you, others and myself have pointed out.

I don't think you are reading and absorbing the help and advice you've been given by numerous posters:

It will not be YOUR decision to pursue criminal proceedings - having told your card issuer that the transactions are unauthorised, the fraud has been committed against them. It is for THEM to report it to the police and pursue criminal proceedings if they believe (as you have told them) fraud has been committed.

Waldemar

Thank you SeduLous,

Indeed I was burying my head in the sand and the amount of cash blown on nonsense is certainly not to be sniffed at.

I have indeed learnt a very important lesson and will be extra vigilant. ( might start sleeping with my wallet). Checking all my accounts and the wife's every fortnight.

Part of the burying the head in the sand was to do with the fact that every time I bought the issue of cash moving from my account to hers or the ridiculous amount of parcels WW4 would kick off and eventually I just ignored the problem. Also there was always an explanation of oh i bought this for this much but sold this for this much or oh that was on work expenses ect.

Ultimately though I have to face facts that I have my part to play in this as well from the financial responsibility of managing my own affairs as well as to the emotional and well being of my family from a husbands responsibility.

Finally apologies for the souless remark that was below the belt.

Waldemar

PVT

I think that is a bit of fear mongering as long as the bank are getting paid why would they care.

In terms of criminal proceedings, yes I have told my bank however if and I say a very big IF anything was to come of my having stated this on the phone to my bank. Then I would certainly not cooperate with the police, cps in the matter at all.

Perhaps I should have sought advice here before taking said action however I had been advised by a debt charity to try this approach.

Waldemar

I certainly have read all the posts and responded to them and I feel absorbed what has been constructive even if it has been difficult to swallow. Just because I will fight back and challeng if see someone posting what I deem to be rubbish or unconstructive it does not mean I am not taking it in.

Reading the previous posts regarding criminal proceedings, I have taken the message ot be that if I was to report it to these agencies and file a crime report then yes action could be taking without my consent or control. I am pretty sure that is not the case with regards the conversation that i had with the bank.