I WILL get there!!

crunch_time

Hi Kirsty

My mum used to do things like that for me and it really made me cross too. She also used to do the same things for mys sisters who were fine with it and just assumed I would be too. Your comment made me laugh as I actually do have to say to her a few times a year ‘mum I’m 36, I’m married, with 2 children, a mortgage and a sensible job - I think I can cope/decide for myself/paybfor it myself if I really need to - delete as appropriate she has got better though.

I personally didn’t bother with baby classes as they were so expensive for not much benefit. I did a baby massage course but only because it was free through my sure start centre. Register with one near you - it’s worth it! Go to all the free/low cost mummy and baby groups or Brest feeding support groups near year you to meet other mums in your area. I didn’t do the nct classes either and don’t feel I missed out! Still made mummy friends from the groups in my area that I’m still friends with 5 years later and one couple we have even been on holiday with.

Initially you will feel like the worst mother in the world for not spending money on your child but please believe me you will find your groove for what is important to you and stick with it. The older they get the more expensive they get! A pair of decent shoes fro when their feet are still growing are £30-£40!!! And they grow out of them every 3 to 4 months for the first few years!! Mine are 5 and 3 and my swimming bill for the spring term was £210!! My son is desperate to do Judo and my daughter wants to ballet but we are about to go down to one income and need to account for every penny.

Both only started swimming when they were 3 and could go in the water by themselves and are just as confident and skilled as those who have down it for longer.

When I was on maternity leave with my daughter I had a diary called ‘a frugal maternity leave.’ Search for it under my profile. I did a list of ways I saved money you might find helpful.

Well done on all your overpayments! You are doing brilliantly!!

Crunchy xx

Jessy103

Hope to see you in the Mortgage Free Wannabe forum soon Kirsty!! x

kirtsypoos

Thanks Crunchy, it's good to know it isn't just me who struggles with over-buying parents!!

I'll have a look at the sure start stuff, and see if there are any classes locally which I could take part in. I think I'm being sold a lot of bumf by my sister who did all of these classes (mostly paid for by my parents or grandparents, obviously. Eye roll emoji would be perfect here!) and insists they are needed. I need to sit and have a proper think about whether they really will fit in for us, both financially and my anxieties - maternity yoga was great but I got myself in a state about being with loads of strangers before every class and it sort of ruined the good I got from the actual class if that makes sense?

Puddleducks or similar is a definite, money is already aside for that thankfully. OH didn't learn to swim until he was 10 and he feels like it really held him back so we want little one to be comfortable in water from the start. I'm a real water baby and he goes mad with kicks when I'm in the bath so I'm sure he will be a water baby too

I'll be looking for your mat diary shortly too, I've subscribed to a few frugal mat leave diaries and they have given me great ideas. I'm also trying to get a head start on some non-perishables. Amazon had a code stacker last week and I managed to get 10 bottles of fairy washing gel for £26 so the store cupboard is looking ok - we have enough shower gel to last 6 months, 3 months of toilet roll, 2 months of bleach, 6 months of dishwasher tablets and 6+ months of washing powder/gel. I tend to buy in bulk when I see an amazing deal which works well in the long run

Hi Jessy! I'll be there in March hopefully. Probably terrible timing, starting stat mat pay, having a baby and starting a mortgage free wannabe diary in the same month but oh well

We are off out for a Christmas meal with friends today - but have some nappies to collect (on offer in boots, 5 packs and a box of wipes for £28) nappies are on my stock up list and people have told me aldi nappies are great but in between sizes pampers and morrisons own are good so I'm stocking up but my sister uses them so if they don't suit us, she can buy them off us and we will be no worse off. That's the plan anyway!

Had my sisters gender reveal yesterday, they are having another girl and they also got engaged yesterday morning. I'm really happy for them, they are a lovely family and he is great with both my sister and a wonderful Dad.....I'm feeling quite worried about my Dads wallet already though, my sister had started a pinterest board within 2 hours of the ring being on her finger and she was asking who is supposed to pay for the honeymoon being as Mom and Dad have to pay for the wedding :eek: I feel a full on bridezilla coming on :eek:

I wish my family would take on board some of the money saving ways I have discovered, but I already know I am fighting a losing battle. It's their money and they can do what they like with it but they burn through it at a rate of knots - my parents handed their house back to the bank 5 years ago and they have had 2 IVAs that I know of - at the moment they have both had their 25% pension lump sums which were supposed to buy them a house to live in rather than the £1000 a month they pay in rent but instead they have been to the Maldives, given me some money (some of which they owed me) and paid for my Sisters house deposit and new car. I really worry about them. If it came to it my sister wouldn't let them live with her, so it would fall to me. I'd never see them homeless but I don't know when they will accept that the lifestyle they live isn't possible on their incomings.

Anyway, I'll upset myself for the day if I keep dwelling on other peoples spending habits! xx

WannabeFree

Unfortunately you can't change other's spending and ways My Mum (and dad before he passed) was exactly the same, it makes me sad my Dad died and had worried about where our next meal would come from. My Mum is financially a lot better since he passed because she received money so is mortgage free etc but she is totally out of control with spending and things. I've taken a huge step back and don't try to help her now

As for classes I went to none We do have a local 'toddlers' that I loved going from when DS was a newborn. It's 50p each time and you get a cuppa and the small ones get toast and juice (obviously not as a newborn )

Have a look into local groups toddlers etc and see which you get the feel of enjoying. I tried a few along the way with my 3 and a few I just felt I didn't fit in.

I go against all MSE ways when it comes to nappies and I found nothing compared to Pampers I still use Pampers for youngest now If you buy when on a good offer/amazon etc I don't find them much more than the cheaper brands.

You're so so close to being DF now you've done amazing!

Hope everything's okay and you have an amazing Christmas x

Honeysucklelou2

Check out your doctor's notice board. Ours has lots of details of pre-school groups, many of which have a weekly mother and baby afternoon. These tend to be low cost ways of meeting other mothers.

sashybo

The only group I really go to with DS is the singing & story group at the local library which he seems to enjoy but they only do a morning session & sometimes it's too early for us as DS likes to wake up very early then go back to sleep later & then there's no time to get organised & out to the group.

I'm not going to bother with any swimming groups/lessons until he's around 3 but DH is a very confident swimmer (I'm not) & wants to take him swimming before that on an ad hoc basis. DH already has him "swimming" in the bath by kicking his legs & he does like the water.

I know I'll have to try toddler groups etc when DS is bigger but not very good at mixing with strangers so will find it stressful. I have a friend nearby whose DS is only 10 weeks older than my DS though & we try to meet up quite regularly which is good.

I can now also recommend the Asda nappies, they seem a good fit for DS at the moment. I'm a bit wary of trying Pampers in case they're noticeably better as don't want to pay the more expensive prices for them. :rotfl:

:eek: at the Bridezilla - weddings always seem to cause such stress & it is easy to get carried away with it all. I just had to stop & think do I actually need these things or do I just think I do because I've seen them in the wedding magazines etc. A girl I know bought a dress that cost £1200 because her dad was paying for it, she admitted she wouldn't have paid that herself. :eek: I was shocked at the cost & when I saw it at the wedding reception it didn't even fit properly which was a real shame at that price. I suppose it depends on your priorities really but I just saw it as really wasteful. She even admitted that she kicked the dress off at the end of the night, rolled it into a ball & never looked at it again. :eek: :eek:

You have to try to accept that you can't change people & you can't help people if they don't want to be helped. It is difficult but it's all you can do for your own peace of mind. I know it won't stop you worrying about your parents though. My mum can be similar and I worry about how she'll cope once she retires as she lives in a rented house too.

PositiveBalance

*Dashes in*

Hi Kirsty!

I just wanted to say a quick Merry Christmas before it all starts in earnest.

I hope you have a lovely time and see you soon.

*Leaves two mince pies - one larger than the other and the bigger one FOR THE PREGNANT LADY then dashes out*

kirtsypoos

Ooooh I've been TERRIBLE at keeping this up to date

Thanks for the heads up about the classes all, definitely something I need to do more research about!

I had my Glucose Tolerance Test last Wednesday and got a phone call on Thursday to say I'd tested positive for Gestational Diabetes great news just before Christmas!!
My day now involves lots of finger pricking to test my blood sugar levels, and constant worrying that what I'm eating will cause a spike and in turn cause a problem for the baby. 13 weeks to go!!!

Thanks for the virtual mince pic PB - it's the only one I've been able to eat!

PositiveBalance

kirtsypoos wrote: »

Thanks for the virtual mince pic PB - it's the only one I've been able to eat!

Oh dear! I hope the GD settles down when you have donut (does that you mean you need to change your nickname now as it's too sweet?! )

No alcohol and no sweet treats over Christmas...this had better be one well-behaved baby once he arrives to make up for it!

Also, you mentioned Amazon code stacking for washing up liquid a few posts ago. How did that work? Can you use it for any other sites as well?

It probably feels a bit like everything that can go wrong is going wrong at the minute. I hope you catch a break soon. xxx

kirtsypoos

Hopefully once he is born I will be able to gorge on all the sweet treats I am currently having to avoid!

I follow a group on facebook called Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK and they put up glitches or stacking codes as they find them - the amazon one had a 15% off code and a £10 off a £40 spend which worked together. It's worth a follow if you have facebook. Most of the time the things they post don't have any relevance for me, but sometimes they just post an unmissable bargain!

I was feeling very sorry for myself last week but I managed to have most of my Christmas dinner without too many adjustments and my bloods were fine afterwards so I felt better at that point, greedy woman that I am, obsessed with roast dinners :rotfl: xx