I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

Not particularly, he just doesn't see it as important. And he HATES being told what to do so if I bring it up I add months on to the wait, so he says :rotfl:

I think his Dad will want to have a father/son talk with him when we get to NZ so hopefully he will be able to convince him that being married would be a good plan.... wishful thinking on my part I think

kirtsypoos

Made another little PAD to OHs BC today so when his DD goes out on 7th October it will be £400 left. Woop!
I'm only making small payments to this CC at the moment in favour of making mortgage OPs, and it will be paid off before donut arrives anyway

Dozed off waiting for OH to get home from kung fu last night and had an awful dream last night that he had been in an accident. He was an hour later than normal and I couldn't get hold of him so I was a bit of a state much to his surprise when he wandered in looking happy as larry wondering why I'd been blowing his phone up with calls!

crunch_time

I've done the same before. I friends husband died suddenly while out on a run a few years ago and it's stayed with me. Whenever husband is later than he says he will be he gets Lots of missed calls - and it was worse when I was pregnant! Xx

kirtsypoos

Thanks crunchy - he thinks I'm mad so it's nice to know I'm not the only one to over-worry!

I'm officially over the 12 week mark and still finding donuts heartbeat on my home doppler so I should start to relax a bit now....right?! In reality I think I need the official 12 week scan to be able to calm down and that's not until a week on Monday so just a little longer for OH to put up with my stressing!

My niece is now 1! I don't know where the time went but we had a lovely Disney themed party for her yesterday (yours truly dressed up as Minnie Mouse ) and she was a star, as usual! It's my friends little boys 1st birthday today so off to his party shortly, just wish I felt better today!

Most people at nieces birthday party don't know I'm expecting so her MIL roped me in to doing the cooking (raw meats are NOT my friend at the moment) so I was trying very discreetly to make secret dashes to the toilet when I felt sick - to the point where she asked if I was feeling ok :rotfl: the after effects of being so poorly yesterday have lingered today so I'm hoping I feel better when we get there! x

kirtsypoos

Back for a small update! Made a little PAD to OHs BC today as it's payday tomorrow and I have some of my discretionary spends left. Well quite a bit of it really, but the rest is going into Donuts fund ready for a trip to the baby show in Manchester at the weekend

It's the 4th anniversary of our first date today and OH has outdone himself - a beautiful silver frame with a picture of donut and a poem for me from donut lots of tears this morning!!

We were hoping to go to our favourite restaurant for a meal but I'm not feeling great so I think a night curled on the sofa might be in order instead. Not the most glam but we can have a nice meal in NZ to make up for it (assuming I feel better then!) x

Bobarella

Hi Kirsty

Happy Anniversary to you! Im so glad to find you in good health (if a little on the queasy side)

I must say I never understand the view of people that dont want to get married, once there is a child involved. A baby together is the ultimate commitment for life, you will never not be able to be in touch if you split with a child together, so how is marriage any more imposing? But Im not your OH, and he must have his reasons.

Bob

monz

Sadly I am on your partners side. A child wont make a relationship any better or worse. Unless marriage was on the cards, dont force it because a child is involved. sorry, I am sure he will eventually but when hes ready and not feeling like he is being forced too and cd grudge it, its not a cliche now to having to be married when you get pregnant xxx

kirtsypoos

Thanks Bob, it's so good to hear from you! I'm off for a catch up on your diary

I'm with you Bob, it was made very clear by both of us that marriage first would be our preference when we first got together but now he is more bothered about being able to save for that latest computer game than a ring for me - he's been quite honest and said it's more about money than anything else, which winds me up even more because a haribo ring would do for me but he wants it to be 'right'

I totally get that it won't fix a relationship Monz, but it's not like we need fixing - we have come such a long way over the last 2 years. If we truly had insurmountable issues I wouldn't be pregnant. It's a reflex action from him because he doesn't like expectation, and my grandparents, parents and his parents have made it quite clear that they expected different from us.

My sister keeps saying that he might have a plan, and he may well, but I doubt it. He is the King of half hearted plans - he means nothing by it but he truly wouldn't consider it an issue if he planned a nice proposal but didn't bother asking my Dads permission, or he would buy a ring but have no plan of how to do it and would leave it to someone else to make the arrangements. It's a good job I love him, and am completely Type A myself so I prefer to be the organiser :rotfl:

kirtsypoos

In other news a good friend of mine had her baby last night - 3 weeks early and 7lb 5oz so might have been a whopper otherwise! She ended up with a section so hopefully will get to meet the little man before we jet off to NZ....fingers crossed!

So exciting, my best friend is due in 6 weeks and after that I'm next :eek: in my friendship groups anyway (at the moment, unless anyone else announces in the meantime!)

crunch_time

I was very anti marriage before I got pregnant. Didn't see the point as we had been together for 8 years and we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. When we started trying for baby number one we had a 'I guess we should get married then' chat. There was no romantic proposal. We bought a ring that I chose (I'm type A too and besides he has no idea what he is doing when it comes to presents). We got married when I was 5 months pregnant in Mauritius, just us and no guests. We didn't want a big show and it was the best thing we have done and totally us. I spent more time in my bikini that day than my wedding dress!!

Being married is better than I had imagined but I felt very committed anyway before the wedding. I joke with the husband that I never had the big proposal but it means more to me that he chose me and is my team mate for life.

I'm very glad I didn't get into debt over a wedding or had to save for years and years. And also surprised how I changed my mind about stuff as I was one of those girls who planned my wedding as I grew up.

He might feel different after the baby is here as it's hard for men when their partner is pregnant to feel part of it. Maybe he'll feel more 'romantic.

I know a few girlfriends who have made themselves very miserable waiting for their other halves to propose. I'm not at all suggesting this is you but I know for me it was about being happy in the moment and day to day. I got on with life and chose happiness.

Sorry if this is a it garbled - I have my two year old chatting at me at the same time and refusing to nap!!! I guess my point is I'm sure things will change once the baby is here and marriage/partnership is more than proposals and weddings. In a real roundabout way.

Getting excited for New Zealand?

Crunchy xx