Elderly parents living in poverty

greenglide

or PIN money that comes out of a cashpoint!

gadgetmind

margaretclare wrote: »

I could never live in this kind of relationship. Never in a million years. I would never have married someone - surely there were signs pre-wedding of what he was like? That would have been a definite goodbye.

We never really discussed it before starting to live together, and tried separate accounts for a while, but this failed to work after we bought a house so we went joint everything. As it happens, my wife now has most of our money and unwrapped investments in her name for tax purposes while I'm a pauper.

If either of us want to buy anything expensive (more than perhaps £100-£500 depending on what it is) we discuss it, or at least we did until she ordered an iPad when they came out, at which point I got *the* bicycle.

atush

That is how we do it lol.

SandraScarlett

le_loup wrote: »

Or they misunderstood.
Or they chose to hear what they wanted.
Or they have cognition problems.
Or this whole thread is a wind up.
"When OAPS wrap themselves in newspaper to stay warm in bed in the winter, can't afford nursing, heating, emergency dental, orthopaedics, new shoes etc."

I think your first 3 points, or a mixture of them, are spot on. I'm a volunteer for the CAB (form-filling), and I can't imagine anyone giving that sort of advice - but I can imagine someone misunderstanding what they've been told.


But I can't understand the OP talking about their parents wrapping themselves in newspaper to stay warm, when they have such a healthy bank balance! More to the point, I can't understand why the OP is so outraged that others didn't share this view!


OP, assuming that this thread is genuine, there are several things you could do. Both your parents are entitled to a SRP, perhaps not the full amounts, but they'd each get something.

When you talked about income you said this was £7,000 a year, and that was from your Dad's earnings. "Income" includes SRPs, so they actually get considerably more.


Contact your Local Authority, and arrange for someone to visit and carry out care assessments for your parents - but make sure you're there, so you can be sure of what advice they're given. The visitor will help secure the correct benefits for your parents, and, as others have suggested, one or both may qualify for Attendance Allowance.


£40,000 would buy them a lot of heating, new warm bedding, nourishing food, clothes and loads left over for repairs and maintenance. If you contact Age Concern, they have registers of approved tradesmen, and Trust In Blue is an organisation made up of retired policemen, who will do repairs, decorating, gardening etc - your parents may well be more comfortable with allowing people into their home if they know this.


I know it can be an uphill battle, persuading ones parents, but you have to grit your teeth, and persevere, because you must know it's wrong to say they're in poverty, when they have such a lot of money.


My DH was in a Care Home for the latter part of last year, and, even if he'd lived and been there for another 20 years, they definitely do not take your home into account if the spouse is still living there, nor make a charge against it.


I wish you and your family well.


xx

BobQ

It seems to me that equity release is the answer to their problems, alternatively buy a smaller place that is more suited to the onset of disabilities to release some capital.

I can understand people not wanting to move home but it may be their best option if it releases capital and makes their life easier

Obviously helping to do this might detract from the family's inheritance.

patanne

Surely far better to check out the state pension entitlement and then spend the savings (then pension credit) before going down the equity release route. I think persuading them to do equity release may be extremely difficult as they may well see it as incurring a debt not releasing equity.

seven-day-weekend

patanne wrote: »

Surely far better to check out the state pension entitlement and then spend the savings (then pension credit) before going down the equity release route. I think persuading them to do equity release may be extremely difficult as they may well see it as incurring a debt not releasing equity.

Which of course, strictly speaking, it is.

Claiming the State Pension and ceasing to be skinflints is the way to go.

BobQ

patanne wrote: »

Surely far better to check out the state pension entitlement and then spend the savings (then pension credit) before going down the equity release route. I think persuading them to do equity release may be extremely difficult as they may well see it as incurring a debt not releasing equity.

I agree that checking out their pension entitlement is a good thing to do as is spending some capital to improve their entitlement to any benefits.

Equity release is a debt and they may well view it as putting their house at risk. But as they say you can lead a horse to water but not make him drink. Some people simply do not want to move at that age: others might be persuaded but their nearest and dearest do not want "their inheritance" to be affected.

GaleSF63

They seem to be so caught up in their must save for the future habit; so prepared to live in self-imposed poverty to keep their savings intact, that if they sorted out everything they were due and it increased their income, they might add the extra to the £40,000 and go on wrapping themselves in newspaper etc. The OP has a fair bit of persuading to do, and I know from experience how stubborn very elderly people can be if they get an idea in their head!

margaretclare

BobQ wrote: »

I agree that checking out their pension entitlement is a good thing to do as is spending some capital to improve their entitlement to any benefits.

I would have thought that this should be the way to go. It has been suggested by others, but the OP has not come back.

Equity release is a debt and they may well view it as putting their house at risk. But as they say you can lead a horse to water but not make him drink. Some people simply do not want to move at that age: others might be persuaded but their nearest and dearest do not want "their inheritance" to be affected.

From what we've been told about the couple in question, I can't see them wanting to do this. Yes, it's a debt - it's a mortgage albeit a mortgage you don't expect or need to pay off in your lifetime. It may sound too complicated for them. And if they won't even spend any of their savings what chance of getting them to spend any of the equity on their house?

It occurred to me that £40K does not stay at £40K, assuming you haven't got it in an old sock under the mattress. If it's in any kind of a decent savings scheme it will be growing.

'Must save for the future habit' - well, I still have that because I have learned from experience that needs and costs tend to spring up unexpectedly out of the blue and it is better to have some savings than no savings. There's been a lot said about what older people are like. Do please remember that we are no longer able to go out and look for a well-paid job. The income we have now is the income we have to do our best with. Time was, I'd have gone and looked for a better job. No longer.