Elderly parents living in poverty

patanne

£40k will barely pay for 2 years care at local authority rates. They may as well use it to make their current home more suitable for them to stay in for longer and avoid the possibility of a care home for longer.

atush

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

That might be true but, on the off chance that this isn't a wind up, surely the OP as their daughter should be convincing them otherwise in order to improve their life rather than come on here asking what the taxpayer can do to help them get what they want/need whilst still retaining their savings and expensive property!

Or maybe it's a case of trying to protect her inheritance.

When my MIL was in her late 80's, and her husband had just gone, she refused to take taxis even though she could afford to. She was just used to being thrifty her whole life.

WE really tried to get her to spend, and we were only partially successful.

Cheeky_Monkey

atush wrote: »

When my MIL was in her late 80's, and her husband had just gone, she refused to take taxis even though she could afford to. She was just used to being thrifty her whole life.

WE really tried to get her to spend, and we were only partially successful.

But did they, or you, expect the taxpayer to pay for the things they needed that they were too 'thrifty' to pay for themselves?

Cheeky_Monkey

nicknameless wrote: »

You should meet my folks! They'd soon disabuse you of any pretense of being able to exercise 'tough love'.

In which case, they would be firmly in the tough luck category!

taktikback

wind up or not, I can identify with the situation. My MIL is 86, has more money than she would know what to do with (and gets confused between the 1000s and the 100,000s) but insists she's poor and needs to choose between the heating or the council tax.

Many old people are like that - they lose all perspective and hark back to when life was actually a struggle - back to a time when benefits didn't exist - so no money was no food - not like today's "poverty" where the lack of a 1080P flatscreen for the 6 kids to watch is a reason to riot about the unfairness of society...

Some of the comments have been a bit harsh...

sandsy

Going back and re-reading the original post gives no reason to believe this is not a real situation. It simply shows the disconnect between the respondents who are financially savvy and the original poster who isn't.

I read it now and see that the elderly parents are income poor, asset rich - hence the references to poverty.

There's been such criticism in this thread that it wouldn't be surprising if the OP has disappeared for fear of being ridiculed time and time again.

Quite sad really given this is supposed to be a forum for obtaining information and guidance.

atush

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

But did they, or you, expect the taxpayer to pay for the things they needed that they were too 'thrifty' to pay for themselves?

No, because it would not occur to them. But it didn't stop them scrimping when they could afford to spend.

When they couldn't manage their house, we got them to sell it and move to a retirement home (their own flat). After he wnet in a home after a second stroke, she stayed there. She moved into a home at 92 and stayed 2/3 years, funded by the sale of the retirement home, their pensions and savings and there was still some left over (and they were never well off).

atush

sandsy wrote: »

Going back and re-reading the original post gives no reason to believe this is not a real situation. It simply shows the disconnect between the respondents who are financially savvy and the original poster who isn't.

I read it now and see that the elderly parents are income poor, asset rich - hence the references to poverty.

There's been such criticism in this thread that it wouldn't be surprising if the OP has disappeared for fear of being ridiculed time and time again.

Quite sad really given this is supposed to be a forum for obtaining information and guidance.

Not all the comments were hostile, mine weren't

le_loup

sandsy wrote: »

I read it now and see that the elderly parents are income poor, asset rich - hence the references to poverty.

Having £40K cash and £7K income does not make one asset rich and income poor.
What if they had a million pounds in cash and NO income, would that too make them asset rich and income poor in the sense that they were in poverty?

jackyann

margaretclare wrote: »

I disagree. I've always been pleased when I had savings to pay for unexpected things that arise, and the reverse when I hadn't. Both situations have arisen in the past, and that's why, at the OP's parents' age, I'm still saving, because we simply do not know what may arise in the time we still have left to us. But that doesn't mean we don't spend, on essentials of course, but also on enjoyment.

As a former nurse and midwife I would never have strayed into the realm of financial advice, an area I was not qualified in. The nurse previously mentioned was acting well outside his/her levels of knowledge and expertise in giving that ill-advised 'advice'. It may not even have been advice seriously given. It may have simply been an off-the-cuff remark - 'oh you should do so-and-so...' - rather than something meant to be followed, serious advice about health and lifestyle. People hear what they want to hear, or they select parts that suit their own way of thinking.

I totally agree. there may be the odd (and it would be odd!) nurse giving this kind of advice, but I think it was a misinterpretation. The other misinterpretation is that people often misuse / misunderstand the term "nurse". "Registered Nurse" is a protected title, "nurse" isn't.
I also wonder about the CAB advice.
And I wonder about the dental treatment. Are they accessing NHS treatment?
In this long thread, I think that someone has suggested Age Concern or local equivalent. I think OP should try to get some good advice from them, and go with her parents (if they will allow!) so she hears what is being said herself.
It seems that parents may be entitled to some help.

I hope that OP can take some good advice from this thread.